To Live and Let Go
by QuirkyRevelations
Summary: Pretend that Tobias wasn't killed by Reid and is captured and institutionalized instead. Still unable to escape the nightmare of his father and Raphael, Tobias is forced to live in a new kind of hell for over a year. Yet things begin to change when he gets an unexpected visit from someone very familiar. Sequel to "Sympathy for the Devil" yet you don't have to read it to understand.
1. God's Punishment

**Hey there! What's up? I'm here with something new (obviously)!**

**This is my first real story! I'm so excited! I want to thank LithiumFlower13 for inspiring me to write this! She's the one who suggested that I write a sequel to "Sympathy for the Devil" so here it is! Thanks LithiumFlower13! :D**

**This story is "Sympathy for the Devil" in Tobias's point of view but there will be a lot more of 'afterward'. You don't have to read that one-shot to get what's going on; I suggest you do but it's your choice. Just know that Tobias isn't dead! This story's going to start where "Sympathy for the Devil" started.**

**Before you read this, keep in mind that this is in Tobias's point of view. In his mind, him, his father, and Raphael are three seperate people so he's going to treat them as such. So don't freak if it seems that there are three different people; it's all in Tobias's head. But don't worry, I think you'll know when his personalities switch.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Criminal Minds. If I did, then I'd have a personal screening of Criminal Minds season 8 ****_and_**** all the other seasons on DVD XD**

**Warnings: FYI there's going to be a different warning per chapter...just wanna say that now. The warnings for this particular chapter: mild language, _mild_ violence, and spoilers to "Revelations". I think that's it.**

**So without further ado, enjoy! :)**

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So this was how it was going to end. After kidnapping and restraining the FBI agent to a chair in that lone cabin in the cemetery, his fate was finally decided. Tobias knew it was only a matter of time before Father or Raphael sentenced the kid for his sins—whatever they were.

Father had been angry with him for reviving the young man once he died, but Tobias did what he felt was right. However, he couldn't help but regret it slightly; maybe if he let the agent die, he wouldn't be subjected to Father's torture anymore. And yet, if he _did_ leave the young man to die, Tobias would've felt a stronger sense of guilt for not helping him. There was no easy decision.

Within these past two days, Tobias was torn and devastated; during the stranger's captivity, he had really bonded with the kid and he did his best to help him out of pity. He even gave the agent an escape by giving him some Dilaudid, despite the young man's initial fear and reluctance to give it a try.

Tobias was outside of the cabin now, giving the agent some water and another shot of Dilaudid before heading out. He left for a short time and when he returned, he witnessed the young man being dragged out of the cabin unrestrained by Father, a shovel in his hand. That could only mean one thing—the kid was as good as dead.

Fear and dread crawled up in his chest as Tobias silently followed along, Father and the boy completely unaware of his presence. He stopped when they halted in the middle of the graveyard and Father ordered the agent to start digging.

Tobias's heart broke when he saw the young man flinch slightly and reluctantly drove the shovel into the earth and began to dig. He immediately knew what this was about—Father was making the agent dig his own grave.

He felt his stomach clench as he helplessly watched, unable to do anything else. He desperately wanted to do something, to say anything that would convince Father of the agent's innocence but he knew there was nothing he could do—whatever the young man confessed, it surely set Father off and now he was determined to have him die.

Time passed and the only sound that was heard was digging, clumps of dirt hitting the ground, the kid's labored, terrified breathing with an occasional whimper or sob, and the normal whispers of the night.

Tobias felt a chill in the air and suddenly there was a divine presence next to him—Raphael. The archangel stood silently with him and watched as the agent dug a deeper hole while Charles angrily told him that he ought to bury him alive in the grave to think over his sins.

Tobias looked at Raphael pleadingly, "Please…can't you do something? It-it doesn't have to be this way. The stranger isn't a d-devil; I know he isn't. P-please. Spa-spare him."

Raphael kept his eyes on the agent's trembling form as he coldly replied, "I cannot do that. He has sinned and he must be punished. Your father is doing the right thing by carrying out his sentence. The boy deserves to die for his sins; I am an instrument of God and I shall not interfere with His work."

Tobias made a small whine at the back of his throat. This was wrong, this was so wrong. The young man shouldn't have to die; he can still be spared can't he? "I-isn't there a-another w-way? Can't he redeem himself? G-god gave him to me for that sole purpose. I just…know it. I-if you stop this, I'll…I'll save him. I'm not sure how to but-"

"You already tried that," Raphael tonelessly interrupted, "and you failed; that boy cannot be saved. Let your father do the Lord's work; you've done enough."

Utterly defeated, Tobias's shoulder sank and he felt the burning sensation of oncoming tears in his eyes, but he held them back—Raphael can't see him cry; it was bad enough already that his own father saw him as weak.

Speaking of which, Father hadn't even heard him and the archangel talking; he was too busy glaring and growling intimidating demands at the agent. Tobias involuntarily shivered. How often has he been on that end of the glare?

Suddenly, Tobias heard a faint rustling in the distance and saw a thin glow of light. What is that? He turned toward mysterious being and could've sworn he was looking at a couple of figures carrying beams of light. Tobias was confused and frightened; were those spirits about to take the agent to the depths of hell?

Tobias was so focused on the figures that when he heard someone scrambling around nearby that when he turned around at the noise, he was surprised to see Father pointing a knife at the agent, who had somehow gotten ahold of Father's gun and was aiming it at him!

Tobias gasped then held his breath in apprehension as Father glared viciously at the young man. The boy unblinkingly held his gaze with something new in his eyes other than fear—was that…determination?

Yes, it was.

The kid had somehow managed to look Father in the eye, resolved to be brave and to get out of this alive. Tobias felt a sense of admiration for the young man; he himself has never been able to look at his father like that and somehow, despite everything, this agent was doing it.

For a moment, Tobias thought of yesterday when he happened to be conversing with the agent. He was telling Tobias that his friends the other agents -or the heathens as Father called them- could save them if Tobias was willing to help. There was this glimmer of hope in the young man's eyes that almost convinced Tobias to believe him but it's not that simple; if Father were to find out, then he would've been angry and pain was sure to follow.

It was fear that held him back and he was ashamed of it.

Looking at the agent now, Tobias saw a steely determination with a faint mixture of ambition and hope was set securely in his hazel eyes. He silently watched the scene before him and was secretly rooting for the kid—maybe God will have mercy on him and allow him the chance to get away…from Father.

"Only one bullet in that gun, boy." Tobias flinched slightly at the furious edge in Father's voice.

Then against his better judgment, Charles suddenly charged forward in an attempt to grab and recapture the agent. Tobias's heart jumped with horror and before he could even blink, the young man pulled the trigger of the gun!

Tobias held back an alarmed cry as the shot sharply echoed through the forest, followed by Father's pained yell. Charles clutched his now bleeding shoulder and he slowly sunk to the ground. Tobias looked from Father to the agent; his father's face was contorted with pain while the kid looked positively horrified at the fact that Charles was still standing…so to speak.

Tobias was torn between rushing to Father's aid or to just continue standing there with Raphael; the archangel hadn't said a word this entire time and was merely watching the scene impassively. In the end, fear had him in its cold, paralyzing grip.

Father turned to the agent with absolute fury in his eyes, "You goddamned sinner! Look what you've done! God will make you suffer for this!" Then he started crawling over to the young man, who screamed in terror and started scrambling backwards to get away!

Alarmed with this development, Tobias was about to make a move, whether to help Father or the agent he wasn't sure, when an angry voice rang out, "FBI! Don't you fucking move Hankel!" It was then Tobias noticed that there were several people in uniform emerging from the shadows of the forest and were pointing their guns at them!

Tobias had to suppress a yelp at their sudden appearance and remained frozen. Father glared at them and didn't notice the kid being pulled into the crowd by an older man, safe from harm.

Tobias barely felt a sense of relief when he noticed Father reluctantly surrendering and was handcuffed once he placed his arms above his head. Simultaneously Tobias felt himself being seized and handcuffed while Raphael was similarly apprehended as well.

Well…this was it. It was over. Father and Raphael's 'cleansing' days were finished. They weren't going to kill another sinner ever again!

A strange, new sense of calm washed over Tobias as it dawned on him that he wasn't going to ever again take part in those killings. Sure, those people may have been wretched devils sent from Hell, but Tobias never liked watching them from his cameras, knowing that his father and the archangel were just waiting for them to sin so they could be killed. Tobias felt…relieved and even free.

His moment was cut short when Raphael spoke up, "God shall not forget you sinner. He is always watching and will never forgive the evil you have done. He shall finish your sentence when the time comes. You shall not be given redemption no matter how much you repent. Remember that sinner. Your time will come to die and not even God will ease your suffering as you burn in hell."

His statements were directed to the young agent; the kid was shaking in fear and was watching all three of the men who had kidnapped and tormented him for two days straight. Father looked livid; Raphael was calmly indifferent; Tobias on the other hand looked at the young man with an odd mixture of sympathy and relief. He wasn't looking at Tobias though; no, his focus was on the archangel, his words still lingering around like a dreaded omen.

Then the policemen immediately had a firm grip on Tobias, Charles, and Raphael and began to haul them away. Tobias didn't fight and went with them quietly. Why should he make an attempt to escape? Whatever punishment lay ahead for him he was willing to accept. He held his head high and refused to look at the other two men with him as they trudged along. He, Father, and Raphael were taken to a police car and were roughly shoved in.

A searing burn of pain jolted through Tobias's shoulder and he whimpered in severe discomfort. It was then he realized that his shoulder was bleeding furiously, like Father's was at the moment. How on earth did that happen?! He hadn't gotten shot!

Tobias looked to Raphael for explanation and noticed with horror that the archangel's shoulder was bleeding from injury as well! How was this possible?! Neither of them had been shot so why were they bleeding from a gunshot wound? Was this a sign from God?

It must've been; it was the only explanation. Tobias rationalized that God was disappointed in all of them and was having them share the pain as punishment. Although Tobias understood God's intentions, he felt sick and disoriented from the loss of blood and the pain of the wound was overwhelming.

His breathing started becoming labored and erratic as he struggled to remain strong—he's endured worse beatings from his father so he ought to be used to the pain. But he wasn't…he was weak, just like Father told him every day.

Tobias then felt a soothing darkness ink its way through his body and he allowed it to take him. Stray thoughts of the young agent erratically swam through Tobias's mind as his vision blurred; was the young man okay—will God forgive him? Tobias hoped so, he really did.

Gosh…the pain. Was he dying? It would seem so. Oddly enough, Tobias wasn't afraid. No—he was willing to embrace death. After all, there was chance that he could see his mom again…

That thought brought a single tear to Tobias's eyes as he lost consciousness.

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**Alright! Chapter 1 down!**

**So what do you think? Just in case anyone's confused, Charles was the one in control but Tobias's thoughts and his brief conversation with Raphael were within his (Tobias's) head. It was only until Raphael spoke to Reid was when the archangel took control. If you're still confused, let me know.**

**I'll try and get the next chapter up as soon as I can! That is, once I figure out how to add in new chapters. I'm still a probie in the amazing world of FanFiction :P**

**In the meantime though, chow! :)**


	2. Heaven and Hell

**Woo hoo! Chapter 2 is here!**

**I want to thank those who reviewed the last chapter, those who favorited the story, to those who are following the story, and even to those who just glimpsed at it! It means alot to me that some people actually like this! Thanks! :)**

**Disclaimer: I still don't own Criminal Minds... :(**

**Warnings: ...I don't really know. I don't think there's anything in this chapter unless you count brief mentions of physical and drug abuse. Otherwise, I don't feel that there's really anything.**

**P.S Did anyone watch the new Criminal Minds episode last night? I was spazzing out at the end! Loved it! :D**

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Tobias woke up to bright lights and blurry white scenery. What? He strained to fully open his eyes and grimaced at the heavy feeling. Once he blinked a few times, his vision was acceptable and he looked around the room. White walls, white curtains, white sheets on a white bed…where was he? His mind attempted to wrap around a suitable, logical answer when it hit him that he was in a bed.

The man's head was resting comfortably on a pillow while the rest of his body was laying on a firm yet pleasantly cushioned bed. Tobias can't remember the last time he woke up so relaxed and safe; he must be in Heaven. Yes that's it, Heaven.

A smile of relief tickled the corners of Tobias's mouth as he breathed in that moment of peace. Heaven…a paradise without pain, without sin, without evil. Tobias had only dreamt of this place yet never thought he himself would be accepted. Heaven is exclusive…Heaven is perfectly pure.

But wait…something wasn't right. Is this really Heaven?

Tobias furrowed his brow at the thought and considered the possibility for a moment. Does Heaven have beds? Well the Bible never said anything about that. Besides, Tobias had always imagined Heaven with clouds, sunshine, pearly gates, and angels…lots of beautiful, golden angels.

Maybe his depiction of Heaven is false? Maybe he's in some sort of in-between area where someone will come and decide whether or not Tobias deserves to be in Heaven or Hell.

Slightly startled, Tobias attempted to get up and was forced back down by the invisible hand of pain. He hissed for a moment and realized that it was coming from his shoulder. He glanced at it and noticed the bandages carefully wrapped around it, concealed slightly by the thin bluish gown. Wait…gown?!

Tobias's brown eyes widened with alarm as he assessed that he indeed _was_ wearing a gown and that there was a small needle attached to a translucent tube poked in his arm; the tube stretched across Tobias and was secured to a machine near him. A faint beep was heard from the mechanism and Tobias was aware that _something_ was being pumped from the device, through the tube, and into Tobias.

_Oh my goodness!_

Tobias's breathing hitched with fear as he shot from the bed, ignoring the pain it brought upon his shoulder. He was barely aware that the machine was giving off erratic beats with each shaky breath as he attempted to pull out the needle. This definitely wasn't Heaven—it was a hospital!

Tobias has always hated hospitals; he hasn't gone recently but he remembers the times when Father's beatings required medical attention or when he slightly overdosed on Dilaudid and had to be treated. Everything about hospitals made Tobias cringe: the smells, the sounds, the people, the atmosphere…everything! He had to get out—NOW!

Just as Tobias almost detached the needle, two security guards, a doctor, and a nurse rushed in and prevented him from doing so. Tobias cried out as one of the guards grabbed his wrist around the needle and shoved it away from it while holding him down with his free hand. Almost instantly he began to fight against the restraining hold.

The doctor spoke frantically to him, "Sir, please! Mr. Hankel! I need you to relax! You can't take out that needle! It's for your own health! Please calm down!"

But Tobias didn't hear it; he was too busy struggling against the guard's hold, fearful of what he and the others would do to him and what was being injected into him. If it wasn't Dilaudid or any other narcotic, then he doesn't want it!

In the meantime, the second guard quickly went to Tobias's other side and held him down from there, further terrifying him. As Tobias fought against the two men, the nurse was readjusting something on the machine while the doctor repositioned the needle in Tobias's arm. Tobias whimpered and continued to struggle. What was going on?! What is this?!

"Tobias, please," a gentle voice wafted into the room and managed to lightly take hold of Tobias's attention, "no one here is going to hurt you. We're here to help. We're only injecting a small dose of morphine into your system so that the pain from your wound could ease and that your body could start healing. Everything's going to be fine; I promise."

Tobias looked up and realized that it was the nurse talking to him. She had a kind, delicate face that smiled reassuringly at him as she spoke calmly to him. She looked as graceful and pure as an angel—it reminded Tobias of his mother.

Slowly Tobias began to relax and eventually halted his struggling. The nurse smiled wider and looked to the guards holding down Tobias as they cautiously released him. The doctor managed to readjust the needle to a proper position and was backing off as well.

The security guards relaxed their intimidating postures for a moment and stepped back a few inches but not leaving the room; one was positioned a little bit away from Tobias's left side of the bed while the other positioned himself to the right, closer to the door.

Then the doctor turned to Tobias, "Sorry about that Mr. Hankel but removing this IV needle could result in dire consequences. I didn't mean to startle you. I'm Dr. Wilson and I'll be treating you for a while." Tobias didn't notice how the doctor seemed uneasy and nervous as he spoke or how one of the guards shifted slightly.

The nurse took a step closer and put in, "And I'm Brenda. I'm going to be helping out as well. I'm a registered nurse so if you need anything, you could ask me." She smiled at him and he relaxed some more.

When one of the guards scoffed at her comment, the doctor cleared his throat and said, "Well now that you're awake, Mr. Hankel, are you well enough to answer a few questions?"

Tobias furrowed his brow in confusion, "What kind of questions?"

The doctor suddenly looked more uncomfortable, "Just standard questions to assess your condition; the amount of blood you lost could've disrupted your brain function so I want to check to see if there are any damages we might've missed."

Tobias hesitated for a moment before nodding his consent. The tension in Doctor Wilson's shoulders eased up slightly and after receiving a quick nod of approval from one of the guards, he asked, "Alright then—do you know your first name?"

_Why that's a silly question—of course I do!_ "Yes, I'm Tobias."

Doctor Wilson nodded slightly, "Good. Now do you know what city and state you're in?"

"Atlanta, Georgia."

"Excellent. Do you know where you are…generally speaking?"

Tobias went rigid, "I'm in a hospital, right?"

The doctor curtly nodded and then appeared uneasy again, "Yes, you are. Uh…Mr. Hankel, do you, uh, remember the last thing that happened to you before you were injured? Where you were, who you were with…what you were doing…?" He began to trail off as he averted Tobias's gaze.

For a moment Tobias was confused and struggled to remember how he had gotten injured. Amidst the fog and lack of clarity, Tobias was suddenly struck with memories: Father, Raphael, the FBI, the shooting, the shouting, the pain, the young agent…

Tobias's eyes instantly widened—_the FBI agent!_

Yes, he remembered now. He, Father, and Raphael had taken the kid since he was a test from God. He was abused for days by Father in order to confess his sins and apparently once he did, Father decided to get rid of him. Then that's when all hell was unleashed—the young man had shot Father and God had transferred the agony onto him and seemingly the archangel as well.

Okay, so Tobias recalled exactly what happened not too long ago. Now there are much more pressing matters to get to.

Alarm jolted Tobias as he instantly sat up from his bed and looked around the room to see if anyone else was being treated with him. At his movements, Doctor Wilson flinched and took a step back while both the guards made a step forward. Only Nurse Brenda remained motionless as she watched Tobias with concern.

Tobias's eyes darted over the entire area before looking fearfully back at Doctor Wilson, "Where's my father? Is he okay?"

The doctor managed to compose his startled expression and reply warily, "Your father? What does he have to do with-" He was suddenly cut off with a sharp look from Brenda and then recollection and understanding lit up his face as he remembered something.

The nurse looked at Tobias, "Don't worry—your father is currently being treated right now in a separate room. He should be fine once the other doctors are through with him."

Tobias wasn't sure whether to be relieved or distraught. "Okay…wha-what about…Raphael? Is-is he b-badly injured?"

Brenda shook her head, "Your friends are fine, just like you are. Now I know this is going to be easier said than done but I need you to focus on yourself, Tobias. Try not to worry about your father, or Raphael, or anyone else for that matter. Please just focus on healing. All that worry and stress will only make things worse for you. Just relax and let us take care of you."

It took a moment for Tobias to ponder over her words and slowly concede to her reasoning. Brenda did have a point—he needed to heal.

But then again, did he _want_ to heal? Tobias still felt horribly guilty for helping Father and Raphael kill all those people and torture that FBI agent.

Tobias bit his lower lip as images of all that blood, all that violence, all that _fear_ Father and Raphael caused these past few days...and Tobias did nothing to stop it. At first, he tentatively tried to convince Father that what they were doing was wrong yet Father was insistent that these sinners needed to be punished.

Eventually, he just gave up and allowed Father to murder those people while he posted Raphael's preaching on the internet. Though he was reluctant to help, it didn't excuse the fact that he did nothing to save those sinners. Nothing to help them pay retribution. He did nothing.

And then there was the FBI agent. Tobias painfully recollected how terrified and abused the kid was when he first talked to him in the shack; Tobias hadn't missed the way the young man looked horrified when Tobias stepped in with a slaughtered lamb and how he trembled whenever Tobias offered him Dilaudid.

With the agent's whimpers still clawing through Tobias's memories, he clutched his blanket sheets as if his grip alone will drive them away. No, he didn't deserve to live. Why should he heal when he's responsible for the deaths of 5 people?

Tobias looked up at Brenda tearfully and whispered, "Why? Don't you know what I've done…what I helped my father do? Why should you help me?"

While his statements caused Dr. Wilson to look around the room awkwardly and the guards to make their own noises of disdain and confirmation, they didn't stir Brenda.

If anything, she only gave Tobias a tender, sympathetic smile and replied, "I want to help you because that's what I want to do as a devout Christian and a human being. Dr. Wilson and I were briefly informed of your…situation in all of this and even though I don't understand nor can I relate in any way, I do feel that you're not to blame."

Ignoring the incredulous scoff from one of the guards, Brenda continued, "You may feel like you don't deserve treatment because of what…your father and Raphael did but I still think you do. If someone's injured, regardless of who they are, I want to help. And I want to help you Tobias."

With that said, Brenda gave Tobias a warm smile while Dr. Wilson and the guards were staring at her in astonishment. Tobias couldn't really blame them either; it's been a long time since anyone, let alone a stranger, has shown Tobias kindness—he was more used to beatings, harsh admonishments, and statements that made him feel weak and worthless.

The closest thing that Tobias ever had to kindness was from his NA sponsor and from the young agent. And yet Tobias assumed that his sponsor was only nice to him because he sympathized with his addiction and that the agent was too afraid to be anything but civil to one of his captors.

Anyways, it was nice to know that someone was actually concerned for Tobias. It made him feel as though God didn't completely hate him. Maybe Brenda is an angel in disguise who's secretly trying to tell Tobias that God was giving him another chance at life.

The thought made Tobias smile. God forgives him. He had given him a sign that it wasn't his time to die just yet. And in return, Tobias swore then and there that he will do whatever it takes to fully repay Him and earn full retribution.

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**Anyone else like Nurse Brenda?**

**Sorry if the chapter seemed short but it was starting to get long so I had to cut it off. Also, I'd like to apologize for how boring this chapter is; it's a bit more interesting in the next chapter but I'm not saying anything-my lips are sealed! :)**

**In case anyone's confused, I only assumed that if a criminal's being treated at a hospital, then the doctors would be informed of their crimes as a sort of warning-hence how Nurse Brenda and Doctor Wilson know about Tobias's condition.**

**Anyways, thanks for reading chapter 2! Due to the boringness of this chapter, I'll try and post up chapter 3 this weekend. Bye! :)**


	3. Trapped Within the Walls of Sin

**I told you I'd be back by this weekend! :D**

**Like I mentioned before, this chapter should be a bit more interesting. Hope you like it! :)**

**Disclaimer: I only own the story...not Criminal Minds or any of its amazingly awesomeness :/**

**Warnings: mild language and violence**

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Healing was torturous for Tobias. With every day he stayed in that hospital, he itched to get out. The unpleasant environment already set Tobias on edge but certain factors just made things worse for him.

For instance, Tobias had to have guards with him 24/7. They refused to leave him alone and they rightfully didn't trust him so they constantly hounded him and treated him with contempt and disdain. Understandably so since Tobias is a convicted murderer—or so he had been constantly told by the police.

Speaking of which, once Tobias was considered well enough, the police harshly questioned him about the murders. They yelled at him and became so confrontational and intimidating that it left Tobias shaking once it was over.

Then of course Father and Raphael came back.

Father reappeared first.

It was his second day at the hospital when Father unexpectedly showed up and loudly cursed Tobias for being a worthless idiot. Then he tried to fight the guards when they intervened and _that_ obviously got ugly. After the incident, more armed guards were posted outside and inside of Tobias's hospital room.

Then Raphael came.

Tobias had been talking to Brenda when Raphael cut in and condemned the girl for being a fraud and how she 'befouled' the term of being a 'Christian'. Then she was given a scathing lecture on how she was going to burn in hell for her lies and sins. It left Brenda shaking and then more guards came to watch over Tobias and his 'friends'.

Father and Raphael had more 'moments' as Tobias was treated and each encounter was worse than the last. And each time people would give him that look of disgust, contempt, and even pure hatred—their glares accusing him of being responsible. Why did they blame him? He wasn't doing anything and he had no control over what Father and Raphael did!

It was hell.

Tobias was almost relieved when Dr. Wilson discharged him. And yet he was still apprehensive about leaving since he was informed that he, Father, and Raphael were going to be transferred into a 'special' jail. He didn't know what _special_ meant but he was nervous to find out.

When Tobias and the others were released from the hospital, they were all instantly handcuffed and were hustled into an armed vehicle with a few officers with guns. Tobias didn't blame them for the security; after all, Father and Raphael were here and both are equally threatening.

The ride was unnervingly quiet. Tobias didn't speak to anyone as the car was driving to their location. Father was surprisingly quiet as well and didn't even threaten or cuss out the guards. Raphael was predictably silent, as if judging the fates of everyone here.

Eventually, the car reached its destination. Tobias looked out the window and shuddered at the sight. It looked to be another hospital yet with a heavy aura of dread and hostility to it; the building was a sickly white with barred up windows and an electrical fence surrounding the yard behind it. The yard didn't even look inviting either; there was no grass or any sign of plant life and there was only dirt with a few benches and tables placed randomly about.

As he was mustering the building, he, Father, and Raphael were roughly pulled out of the vehicle and were escorted into the prison. They were met by some security guards with guns and Tasers on their hips who glared at him.

Tobias shivered slightly and was forced to keep still as two of them began to frisk him. He had to briefly close his eyes and take a deep breath to calm himself. Once they finished, they led him over to a metal doorway nearby that scanned him for weapons as he walked through.

Tobias saw his father glare at the guards but otherwise held his tongue as they all were escorted down a long hallway. Raphael seemed indifferent and unconcerned, his lifeless eyes barely registering everything around him.

There was nothing but silence while walking. At one point, they went through a room where a few guards were lounging about and watching something behind a huge glass window. Some of the security looked up when Tobias, Father, and Raphael entered with their armed convoys and gave a nod to their colleagues and a look of undisguised scorn to their prisoners.

As they all were hustled through the room, Tobias briefly glanced at what was behind the window and briefly halted with shock at what he saw: there was what seemed to be cafeteria in the large area on the other side of the window where many other prisoners were sitting on benches or walking around.

The inmates were terrifying—some looked positively crazy and feral while others were…not quite entirely there.

Tobias's eyes widened when he noticed one prisoner trembling in his chair with a glazed, paranoid look in his eyes and a spoon clenched tightly in his hand. Then suddenly he shot up, yelling at the top of his lungs as he flung his spoon at another inmate. The other man spun around and viciously tackled the thrower and began to strangle him!

The prison guards immediately sprang into action and ran to the area, wielding their guns. The other prisoners began shouting over the fight and some even tried to get in on it. However, the guards cut in the crowd and pulled apart the inmates. The one who threw the spoon was foaming at the mouth while the other was swearing at the top of his lungs.

Tobias saw no more as he and the others were ushered out of the room and into another hallway. Tobias was shaking with fright and dread at what he had just witnessed. Was that man possessed by the devil? What had possessed him to act so…unnatural?

Father appeared both confused and angry, his brow furrowed as he thought about what he had just seen. Raphael looked blank and expressionless as he usually did yet there was a flicker of perception, insight, and a strange sense of awareness.

Troubled thoughts consumed Tobias and he was unaware that they had stopped until one of the guards opened a door and led them inside. Tobias blinked as he took in his surroundings. It was a room with sickly pale white walls: there was a bed in the corner with a folded light green shirt and a pair of sweat pants resting on it, a small desk pressed to the opposite wall with a chair, and a toilet and sink nearby the bed. The only light in the room came from the pathetic light bulb hanging from the ceiling as well as the barred up window placed high up against the wall opposite the exit.

An inmate's cell.

It's official—Tobias is now considered a criminal. It hadn't hit him until that moment just how true that statement was. He was now in a locked room meant to be his home for the rest of his life in a place holding other criminals like him…

Tobias shivered at the thought that he was regarded at the same level of evil as the man with the spoon as well as the strangler. Suddenly his handcuffs seemed heavy on his wrists.

"Well Tobias, this is your room." Tobias looked over at the guard addressing him. "The clothes on your bed is your new uniform and just to let you know, you're given a new set every morning. Once you change, we're taking your old clothes and getting rid of them."

He paused for a moment to cautiously unlock the handcuffs on Tobias's wrists and to allow him to say something, but he chose to keep silent. There was no need to say anything; it wasn't like his opinion mattered anyway.

Another guard, a huge beast of a man, snarled, "I'm warning you now that here at the institution we don't tolerate inappropriate behavior no matter how screwed over you are. You're here for the reason everyone else is—because you're criminally insane. You're mental…nuts…_fucked up_. And I swear, if you cause any trouble we _will_ resort to violence. Am I clear?"

Taken aback slightly by the man's gruff threat –no, promise- Tobias could do nothing but nod.

The third guard was a bit more sympathetic and scowled at his companion before turning to Tobias, "We have rules here at the institution but the main one is to not cause trouble with any of the other…patients. If you do, then we'll have to intervene. And if your unruly behavior continues, then we'll be forced to place you into solitary confinement. But otherwise, we should be fine. Any questions?"

_Yes…can I get out of here?! I don't belong here! _

However, Tobias kept those thoughts to himself and merely shook his head in response as he unconsciously rubbed his wrists. He was given a curt nod from the guard and then he and his co-workers left Tobias, Father, and Raphael alone in _their_ new room, locking the door behind them.

The silence that followed was deafening.

Father was glaring at the door as if trying to burn it down with his intense stare. Raphael merely analyzed the room without much interest.

Tobias didn't feel like talking to either of them. Instead, he shuffled over to his bed and examined the clothes. They were to be his uniform from now on, a symbol of what he's done and how he's trapped forever in this…place.

Being quick and prompt, Tobias changed out of his outfit and into the shirt and sweats; they were fairly comfortable and they fit adequately. Tossing his old clothes to the side, Tobias sat down on his new bed to think about his predicament.

He felt like a prisoner.

And the horrifying truth was that he is.

He was being locked up for being an accessory to murder, kidnapping, and torture. He knew he had to serve justice for it yet Tobias felt like he didn't belong. Those people…this place…it's all not right. This was an insane asylum—not jail.

Tobias shivered unconsciously and sighed.

"What did I tell you about quivering, boy? That's a sign of weakness!"

Tobias jumped and looked up at his father's angered, disgusted statements. Father's face was contorted with a permanent frown that drove away all hope and happiness. Tobias went rigid as Father's cold, hard eyes dug into his soul.

At Tobias's submissive silence, Father snapped, "Well…have you got nothing to say?! It's all your damn fault that we're in this God forsaken place! You got us caught by letting that heathen boy shoot me! _He shot me!_ If he wasn't so pathetically weak, then he could've killed me! What would you have done then, boy?! Huh?! Would you have let me die?!"

Tobias jumped again at Father's wild gestures and instinctively moved backwards on the bed. Whenever Father was this angry –especially at him- then a beating was likely in the future. Tobias had to tighten his lips to hold back a whimper of fear as he vigorously shook his head.

Father seemed to recognize that familiar terror and advanced closer towards him at a dangerous pace. Tobias actually did allow a short whine to pass his lips as he backed himself further until his back hit the wall.

Father only stopped charging until he was right in front of Tobias. "Are you lying to me, boy? Huh? Are you? _Answer me!_"

His furious demand caused Tobias to flinch and spurred him to shake his head more vigorously, "N-No father! I-I would've s-saved you i-if I h-had the ch-chance. B-but it all hap-happened t-too fast! I-I didn't kn-know what to d-do and th-then those FBI people came and-"

Tobias was suddenly cut off when Father punched him hard across the jaw. Tobias cried out as he attempted to steady himself from the unexpected blow.

Father showed no remorse as he angrily snarled, "Don't make excuses, boy! Excuses are a coward's way of lying! And you sure as hell are a sniveling coward!"

And with that insult, Father struck at Tobias again, this time drawing a bit of blood from the younger man's already split lip. Almost instantly Tobias raised his arms up to shield his face but he knew it was futile—Father always managed to beat him bloody despite Tobias's efforts to protect himself.

While this occurred, Raphael made no move to intervene; although he rarely interacts with Tobias or his father simultaneously, he never does anything if he witnesses Father's treatment of Tobias—he merely watches with a dull glint in his eyes.

The archangel watched now as Father seized Tobias by the front of his shirt and jerked him to his feet, "I swear, if we weren't under God's watchful eyes, I'd kill you for being so worthless and pitiful! All of us being here is _your_ doing! You're weak!" He harshly shoved down Tobias when he said that last statement.

As his body hit the concrete floor, Tobias grunted with pain and attempted to figure out a way to calm Father while ignoring the throbbing ache settling into him. However, he wasn't given the chance since Father gave him a swift kick in the ribs, causing Tobias to cry out in pain—his unconscious resolve to remain strong completely abandoned.

Tobias whimpered as Father prepared another kick when suddenly he heard the door to his room fly open and the sound of people rushing into the room.

Then he realized that some of the guards had clambered in and were restraining Father from hurting him further. Father immediately began to fight back, swinging out at anyone who came near him and cussing loudly to the heavens.

For a moment, the guards struggled to apprehend him but eventually it took three of them to hold him. In the meantime, Tobias watched as a doctor unexpectedly came in, holding a syringe full of some sort of clear liquid.

For a moment, Tobias felt relieved, thinking that the needle was filled with Dilaudid but was somewhat disappointed when the doctor instantly injected Father with the substance.

Father unleashed an angered yell, much like the one he screamed when he was shot and actually managed to punch the doctor. Almost instantly the guards put in stronger efforts to hold him down.

Several moments passed until the fight in Father began to drain from him. Tobias suddenly began to feel exhausted as he watched Father slowly begin to relax. _What was in that shot? _

Tobias couldn't even think properly as he felt himself grow wearier and he began to sag to the ground. He barely heard one of the guards gently coaxing Father to relax and let go.

Relax…let go…that sounds nice.

And yet, amidst the numbing sense of heavy exhaustion and unnatural calm surrounding Tobias, he couldn't feel completely relaxed. Despite his body's betrayal of succumbing to this strange, unholy enchantment –is this Satan's doing?- Tobias's mind was rushing in a flurry of anxiety.

It occurred to him that not only was he trapped here with people who seemed possessed, but he was trapped here with Father. _Father._

He had hoped that when he was arrested that his life would be better, that someone would take him away from Father and lock him up somewhere.

And instead, they've locked them up together.

Just as Tobias drifted off, he had only one thought: _how am I going to survive?_

* * *

**So...what do you think? Sorry if the institution seems...stereotyped, prejudice, or offensive. I have no idea what an institution really is -I only assume that it's a hospital/prison for mentally unstable murderers- so therefore I only have a fuzzy interpretation of it. Let me know if it's all wrong :/**

**Also the comments made by that guard are not mine (you know which one I'm talking about). This guy just happens to be a jerk and I personally don't share his opinion.**


	4. A New Kind of Hell

**I couldn't resist posting two updates in a day! I owe myself a cookie :)**

**Anyways, more on Tobias at the institution! Excitement! :D**

**Disclaimer: I only own my mistakes and any non Criminal Minds characters. Overall...it's not even as close to awesome as owning the real thing :P**

**Warnings: language, references to violence and drugs, angst**

* * *

When Tobias came to, he was briefly confused by the unfamiliar surroundings. He sat up in a stiff but otherwise comfortable bed and looked around. Four walls with a single door, a sink, a toilet, a desk and a chair, a barred window…

Almost instantly the memory of where he was slammed right into him.

He was in jail.

Right…

Tobias felt fear, anxiety, and disappointment seethe through him as he remembered what had occurred only hours ago.

Wait, was he out for hours?

Tobias glanced over at the window and saw the faint glimmer of sunlight gently peeking through.

Days maybe?

Exactly how long had Tobias been unconscious?

Great question—one he couldn't answer since he didn't have a watch nor did his room have a wall clock.

Tobias sighed as he sat there. It was then he realized that his wrists were handcuffed. Tobias frowned slightly—when did _those_ get there? One of the guards from before had already taken them off, right?

_Must've put them back on so Father and I wouldn't fight, _Tobias mused to himself.

Suddenly Tobias's stomach did a somersault as he remembered Father.

His eyes instinctively darted across the room but there was no sign of Father; Raphael wasn't even around. He was alone.

Very slowly Tobias began to relax. He was alone. But where were Father and Raphael? Did those men with the guns take them away?

Once he fully comprehended that he indeed was alone, Tobias figured that this was the case. Maybe Father and Raphael now had their own rooms rather than having to share with Tobias.

The thought brought a flicker of a smile to Tobias but then it was dashed away; he shouldn't get his hopes up. Whenever something good is happening its source is always forcibly yanked from his grasp and he's left hurting and depressed.

He should know—it happened with his mother before. He thought his life was going great until his mom expectedly left the family and left Tobias alone with Father. Then his life was filled with pain, sin, fear, weakness, and hell—his life was hell.

So that ghost of a smile fell from Tobias as he ran a heavy hand through his shaggy brown hair. Life was never going to be easy for a sinner like him.

His thoughts were interrupted when the door to his prison opened and three guards stepped in, each with a gun holstered on their hips. They weren't the ones from before.

He looked at them apprehensively until one of them spoke up, "Ummm…Mr. Hankel? Is that you?"

_Mr. Hankel? Are they looking for Father?_

Tobias wasn't sure how to answer so the guard cleared his throat, "Sorry, I mean, are you Tobias?"

Tobias briefly scrunched his nose. _Of course I am! Who else could I be?!_

When he stoically nodded, all the guards seemed relieved. Then one of the others decided to speak up, "Alrighty then, that's good. Well Tobias we came to tell you that it's lunchtime. C'mon now and we'll take you since you're new. Besides, you should know that whenever it's mealtime or when we allow the prisoners some time outside, they usually call us to escort you out. It's standard procedure."

Mealtime? Escort? Standard procedure?

Tobias was momentarily confused until understanding unfolded. These men were going to walk him to the cafeteria. They probably wanted to make sure that he doesn't cause any trouble along the way.

Okay…he could deal with that. It could take some getting used to, but he'll manage.

Giving a brief nod of confirmation, Tobias stood up and began to walk out the door. The guards were watchful of him and all positioned near him and they left the room, shutting the door behind them.

They all strolled along silently as Tobias allowed them to lead the way. He glanced at the smooth structure of the hallway and wondered how big this place is.

They eventually stopped at two big double doors guarded by two other patrols with Tasers, guns, and…were those clubs?

Flashing thoughts of his father caused Tobias to shiver as his convoys were given a nod of consent and they all sauntered behind those doors.

Inside was the room that Tobias had seen not long ago. It was the same area where Tobias had witnessed the violent scene with the man who threw the spoon at that other dangerous convict. That particular reminder ignited a tremble through Tobias.

He looked around and deduced that those men weren't there for the day and that everything seemed the same from when he had last seen it; there were still several benches and tables with the same criminals with the same crazed or empty expressions lounging about.

The only difference was the amount of security standing erectly in several places within the area. Tobias hadn't noticed their presence before but assumed that they were there to keep an eye on the prisoners and to make sure that they don't cause trouble.

_Or try to kill each other._

Tobias subconsciously stiffened and tried to swallow down his rising panic. He didn't even realize that one of the guards had removed the handcuffs until he suddenly felt that cold, cutting metal release his wrists.

He looked at the guards questioningly until one of them said, "We don't usually have you guys wear handcuffs unless we think it's necessary…

"So anyway, here's the cafeteria. There are lines over there," he indicated to the right where there were three separate lines formed away from each other, all of them leading to windows in the wall where Tobias assumed the food was passed out.

"We have two different items to select from every day for each meal so if you don't like what they're serving, then you'll have to deal with it. Each course has at least two sides –usually fruit or vegetables- and some juice or water for a drink, depending on what we happen to have. Today you get to choose from either ham sandwiches or hamburgers. Both come with fries and I think fruit juice. You can just go up and grab it or if you're not hungry then you can just chill out. Do you have any questions?"

After a moment's hesitation, Tobias shook his head.

One of the other guards cleared his throat before adding, "Lunch ends at 1:00 so you have less than an hour to eat or socialize. I don't think we need to tell you that if you cause problems for another inmate or for any of the guards that there will be consequences." He looked at Tobias expectedly as he gingerly nodded.

The third guard inclined his head and said, "Okay so that's about it. Once lunch is over, you're sent back to your room and we'll give you your medicine. You're given medication three times a day after every meal and you can't make up any excuses for refusing it; whether or not you want it, you're taking it even if we have to strap you down…just so we're clear."

Ignoring the alarmed look on Tobias's face, one of the other ones add, "At around 3 or 4 we let everyone out to the courtyard for an hour break and then you're brought back in for the rest of the night. We'll wake you up tomorrow morning for breakfast and then you'll have some free time. Okay, _now _that covers it. See you around."

Then without another word, all three of them left Tobias in an area full of hardened criminals with obvious violent tendencies.

Trying not to look so vulnerable, Tobias hunched his shoulders and made his way over to the shortest line to grab something to eat. Granted he wasn't really hungry –he doubt he could get anything past the tight fist of nerves and restrained panic in his stomach- but he knew he needed to eat something.

Tobias tried hard not to draw attention to himself as he hurriedly grabbed his lunch and moved out of the line to find a seat. Luckily he found an unoccupied table and he sat down by himself.

Tobias thought the safest thing to do was to keep his head down and he instead examined the food in front of him—a ham sandwich placed in a plastic wrapping with some fries and a plastic bottle of apple juice.

Sighing to himself, Tobias unwrapped the sandwich and nibbled on it. It wasn't bad but it was difficult to stomach.

As he slowly ate, Tobias thought of everything he's been told. The schedule of the prison didn't really matter to him but what bothered him was the thought of taking medication.

A small whine escaped Tobias's lips as the sense of dread that was starting to poison him.

Why does he need medication? He's not ill, he's a criminal.

Tobias briefly glanced around at the other inmates and concluded that most of them clearly need help but not him—he's not like them. He's not violent or threatening and he's never done anything to directly hurt anyone. He's only here because he's an accessory to murder.

And yet these people are going to give him medication.

Why?

Was it for his shoulder?

That was doubtful; his shoulder's already healed.

Maybe it was to control his cravings for Dilaudid?

Yes, that could be it.

Now that he thought about it, Tobias would _really_ like a shot of Dilaudid right about now. It's obvious that no one here is going to give him any so maybe the guards are giving him medication so that he won't be so viciously attacked by withdrawal.

He's been through withdrawal before and it was awful; it was the whole reason he went to the NA meetings—they helped him overcome it. Not that they really did any good since Tobias went back using it after a while—just not as rigorously as before. No, he only took it moderately so that he wouldn't become so dangerously addicted again.

Amidst his thinking, Tobias suddenly realized that a man was walking towards his table. Despite that he was thin, he had this terrifying, wild look in his eyes that stared at him as he stalked closer.

Almost instantly Tobias stiffened and was afraid. What did this guy want? God forbid that he didn't want any trouble.

But then again, what else could a _criminal_ want?

The man reached Tobias's table, placed his hands on it, and leaned forward, peering intently at the nervously frightened younger man in front of him.

"Yer new aren't ya? I don't remember yer face 'round here before." The man's accent was strange; Tobias has heard it before yet it doesn't reassure him.

He was too alarmed to respond so the man cocked his head to the side and said, "Not much of a talker, are ya? Not many of the folks 'round here are? So what're you here fer?"

For a moment, Tobias hesitated; should he answer? Would this man get angry if he didn't?

While he was conflicted with himself, the man decided to continue anyway, "I'm here 'cause they think I'm crazy. But I'm not! I killed those kids 'cause I'm supposed to be the new Slender man! I was just doing what I was supposed to do but _they_ wouldn't let me!" He then shot a resentful, vindictive glare at the giant window where the guards were overlooking the prisoners.

Tobias was practically holding his breath and was too confused and petrified to move. The man turned his attention back on Tobias, "The Slender man kills any naughty children that wander too close to the woods. I was just taking over his job but _they_ said it was wrong! _They_ said that the Slender man doesn't exist! But he does! I should know…Carter told me so and he's never wrong! Besides, why else would I need to take over his duty? They're wrong and I'm right!"

Slender man? Naughty children? Carter? _Who's Carter?_

Scattered thoughts overwhelmed Tobias as he began to shake. Something about this man was unnatural and seriously wrong! He's killed _children_ for Pete's sake!

The meager bits of the ham sandwich began to slowly crawl back up from Tobias's throat as he blanched. He needs to get out of here!

He stood up to leave when the man suddenly lurched forward and seized him by the arm! Tobias yelped in alarm but couldn't bring himself to pull away.

There was an even crazier glint that flashed in the man's eyes as he stared into Tobias, "You think I'm crazy too, don't you? You don't believe that I'm the Slender man. Well I am! Yer just lucky that you ain't a child or else you'd be dead from my supernatural powers!" He then looked to his left, "Ain't that right Carter?"

Tobias nervously looked where the man was staring, afraid that another inmate decided to join the conversation but was confused and startled to see that no one was there.

However, the man didn't seem to notice as he nodded thoughtfully at the empty space, "Yup, that's right Carter. Yer always right!"

He then looked back at Tobias and merely fixated him with that expression of pure insanity.

Tobias was violently trembling and he felt ready to faint. He desperately wished that the guards would do something to get this guy away from him! This man is clearly deranged!

All of a sudden, Tobias felt a strange yet familiar shift in the air—there was now a sense of calmness and divine virtue with a subtle hint of…darkness?

Tobias's eyes widened when he recognized the other being that had joined them.

Raphael.

The archangel stared coldly at the man in front of them and said, "You're spewing out lies in a similar manner to how the Devil tempts God's pure children. You've obviously been consumed by manipulations of madness sent by the Devil himself. You must cleanse yourself soon, sinner, or else He will never accept you into His house."

The man stared at Raphael, startled as he struggled to comprehend what he was just told.

Tobias merely stared in shock for a moment. He hadn't expected to run into Raphael so soon; he figured that maybe he'd get a chance to be by himself for a while before he spoke with either him or Father again. The thought sent shivers down his spine.

However he kept quiet as Raphael continued, "I suggest you try and redeem yourself by giving yourself up to Him and performing all His requests. Cleanse your soul by following under Him."

The man finally regained his voice as he responded with annoyance, "Follow? I don't follow no one else if it ain't Carter! What the hell is wrong with you, boy?! Why are you talkin' like some sorta preacher?!"

Raphael wasn't deterred by the man's irritation and countered, "I am merely preaching the word of the Lord. If you don't follow it, then you'll surely suffer for your sins. You've already made a pact with the Devil by breaking the first and sixth commandment—thou shall not have other gods before Him and thou shall not murder. How do you propose to seek redemption, sinner?"

The man began to fume, "Hell no! You can't tell me what to do; only Carter can give me orders! You better watch yourself or I'll kill you whether or not you _are_ a child! The Slender man shows no mercy!"

His face contorted with fury and he looked ready to initiate some violence when suddenly a few guards rushed over, pulled him and Raphael away from one another, and stood between them.

Tobias watched breathlessly as one of the guards angrily snapped, "That's enough—both of you! Back off!"

The 'Slender man' glared over at Raphael and Tobias and snarled, "He started it! He doesn't believe in who I am! And he's talking shit!" With that said, he spit in their direction.

"I don't care who started it!" One of the guards narrowed his eyes at the man, "It ends now! Cool off, Earl! Now!"

The man, apparently named Earl, glowered at the guards for a moment before slowly relaxing his shoulders. Then he pulled away, threw one last heated scowl at Raphael, and sauntered off.

The guards eased up slightly a couple dispersed, leaving Tobias and Raphael with two officers still hovering near them.

One of the sentential looked at them and said, "Tobias…I know you're new but watch how you communicate with the others. Some of them don't socialize very well with others…especially people like Earl. So watch yourself and there won't be problems. Understand?"

Tobias wasn't given the chance to respond since Raphael spoke up, "I will meddle when these sinners decide to commit more acts against God. Otherwise I will only act as His eyes."

The officers looked at Raphael funny until something seemed to click for one of them. "What did you say your name was?"

"I'm Raphael."

Then the other officer appeared to understand now and exchanged an indecipherable glance with his partner. "I think you need to come with us, Raphael. We're going to take you away from…all these sinners."

He beckoned the archangel forward and Raphael appraised them before deciding to go with them. Not wanting to be alone again, Tobias found himself following along.

The guards took him and Raphael back to their room and told them to wait there.

Once they shut and locked the door behind them, Tobias realized that the officers hadn't separated him and Raphael. Did they plan on keeping them together from now on?

Tobias's shoulders slumped a bit once he figured that it was most likely so. So much for having his own room. Does that mean that Father's going to come back as well?

Tobias unconsciously flinched at the thought. _Oh boy._ Wasn't it bad enough that Tobias was forced to live with him all his life? Why couldn't they just give Tobias a break and have Father leave him alone.

And yet that wasn't possible. Tobias had a feeling that God linked Father, him, and Raphael for a reason—so that Tobias could always be kept on the path of righteousness.

Or maybe God has forsaken him and wants to punish him for his sins by making him live with Father forever—to endure his wrath for all eternity.

Tobias felt his stomach tense up in dread and he was crestfallen to discover the truth of that. After all, why else would God keep Father with Tobias if not to punish him?

Unexpectedly the two officers and a doctor walked into the prison, pulling Tobias from his thoughts on this newly perceived revelation.

They didn't say a word to Tobias and approached Raphael. Then without warning, the guards grabbed Raphael by both of his arms while the doctor pulled out a needle with a clear liquid and injected him with it.

The archangel's eyes widened for a moment but otherwise didn't react as he instantly pulled his arm away. However, the doctor had managed to fully administer the drug.

Tobias's breathing hitched as he had a sense of déjà vu. Wasn't this done to Father a while ago?

Tobias thought about what the officers had told him earlier; they said that they were going to give him medication. But why was Raphael given medicine? He certainly didn't need it, did he?

Tobias couldn't think of a decent explanation as he felt his energy start to drain. Exhaustion was pressing down on him as he suddenly felt tired.

_Oh no, not this again. What kind of curse is this?_

Tobias's mind was a haze as he slowly began to succumb to unconsciousness.

Is this what life was going to be like for him from now on? Is he going to fall prey to this curse every day? Is he going to have to suffer in this prison every day? Is he going to have to deal with abnormal, dangerous criminals every day? But most importantly…is Tobias going to have to see Father and Raphael every day?

Tobias felt distress in the background associating with his thoughts before he left the conscious world. He may have escaped the hell that was his old life but now he was going to have to live in a new kind of hell—a hell that even Dilaudid couldn't relieve him from.

_Lord...please show me mercy._

* * *

**Tobias just can't seem to get a break... :(**

**Alright, let's get some things straight. First of all, I hope I didn't appear prejudice with my depiction of the institution or its inmates. I'm not trying to be mean or stereotypical; it's the closest thing I have to authenticity.**

**Second of all, I am ****_not _****endorsing the 'Slender man'. I just happened to come across the myth and I'm just so fascinated with the legend that I couldn't resist putting it in. Otherwise, I'm ****_not_**** saying I believe in it nor am I sending subliminal messages to play the online game!**

**Third off, I'm sorry if Earl seems stereotyped as well. He's supposed to be a delusional schizophrenic and I tried to develop him as best as I could. It was not my intention to offend anyone...if I did (for all I know I could be spot on...I don't know) :/**

**Fourth, I imagined Earl to have something of a Southern accent so I tried to spell out his vocabulary as how I heard it. I'm not ****_that_**** bad with spelling nor am I being rude towards Southerners.**

**And lastly, in case anyone's confused, Raphael took control there. I hope that it wasn't too confusing.**

**Anyways, let me know if I made a mistake and I'll fix it. In the meantime, have a nice day! I'll post the next chapter when I can. It should be interesting since a certain favorite genius will appear :D Bye!**


	5. The Light of the Crescent Moon

**And now, the moment you've all been waiting for! (Drumrolls) Chapter 5 is here where you'll find Reid! If you've read "Sympathy for the Devil" then you'll know what to expect for this chapter but it should be a bit different with Tobias's thoughts.**

**I know this is long overdue but I want to thank the 2 guests that reviewed "Sympathy for the Devil", Dani and Lastarael! I'm sorry if your reviews don't 'show' (on the story summary thing) but at the time I had no idea how to moderate reviews. Just know that if you happen to be reading this that I do appreciate your reviews :D**

**I'd also like to thank Darth Kieduss the Wise for pointing out something to me. It was brought to my attention that Tobias needed a court law that trialled him 'Not Guilty by Reasons of Insanity' _before _he's placed in an institution. Ugh! I'm clueless to the world of law! So sorry! Pretend that Tobias did have a trial and that he was ruled mentally unstable. My bad! I might change that later when I have more time. Let me know if I made any more mistakes and I'll fix them! Feedback is much appreciated and I'm always searching for comments that'll help me improve. Thanks again to Darth Kieduss the Wise :)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Criminal Minds...and I never will. But if someone on this site happens to, will you share? :)**

**Warnings: mild language and violence, references to drugs, spoilers to "Revelations"**

**So here you go...Chapter 5!**

* * *

One year, three months, and two days passed and God remained silent to Tobias's pleas. After a while, he just learned to accept his punishment; if God wasn't willing to help him before, then why would he start now?

So somehow Tobias managed to survive for one year, three months, and two days in prison…with Father and Raphael.

Just like he figured, Tobias had to share a room with them. It was like home all over again except it was a bit more uncomfortable. Although Tobias had to live with Father and Raphael before, at least he had his own room. Now he had little to no privacy.

Father constantly yelled at him while Raphael endlessly preached the word of God…as if he didn't know it already. Sometimes Father and Raphael got along but other times Father grew impatient with the archangel and they were short with one another.

And yet all three of them shared one thing in common—they all can't stand living in the prison.

Their days being locked up soon became regular after a while: they get up, grab breakfast, take their medicine, hang out in the 'activity center' for a bit, go back to their rooms for 'alone time', grab lunch, take their medicine again, go out to the courtyard, grab some dinner, take some more medicine, and then finally go back to their room to sleep and await the next day so that it could start all over again.

It was rare that their day went undisturbed by the other prisoners. Sometimes an incident occurs that directly involves them –i.e. someone attempts to pick a fight with them or vice versa- or a random individual decides to cause a scene that the patrols are forced to physically halt.

In short, it was hell.

For the most part Tobias kept to himself and only spoke when spoken to. He didn't bother trying to befriend the other inmates partially out of fear of them and partially because Father forbade him to associate with 'those heathens possessed by the Devil'.

Also, Tobias doubted that anyone would _want_ to talk to him because of Father and Raphael. During their time here, they've built up an unpopular reputation for themselves individually and now no one really liked talking to Tobias because he knew them.

Anyways, one year, three months, and two days later left Tobias sitting in the cafeteria during lunchtime. Today's special was pizza with carrot sticks and fruit punch. However, Tobias had only taken a few bites of his slice and was currently nibbling a carrot stick.

Father and Raphael weren't there for the moment; Tobias was alone and he's been alone since yesterday. It was somewhat relaxing yet unnerving; oddly enough he's still not use to being anywhere without them nearby. He nervously swallowed a carrot stick and merely watched the people around him. Although he was still afraid of the other prisoners, he had gotten somewhat use to them and at times was intrigued by them.

He was sitting there when he felt like there were eyes on him. He almost instantly turned his gaze back on his food. If someone was staring at him, then he surely didn't want to do anything else to unintentionally draw attention to himself.

He sat there unmoving for a moment until he felt those eyes disappear. He relaxed for a moment. _Thank goodness. _He slowly ate the rest of his food until it was time to go back to his room for his medication…gosh how he _hates _the medication.

* * *

Later that evening Tobias knelt over his bed and muttered his prayers while Father glared at him and Raphael watched with mild interest. Once he finished, he climbed into bed and murmured a good night to his companions and received a grunt and a toneless 'have a restful evening' in return.

Once Tobias was sure that Father and Raphael were asleep, he carefully slipped out of bed and walked over to his window. Though it was barred he was still given the luxury of having a decent view of the moon. If he had a chance, he would look at it and imagine a perfect life far from this awful place. The moon's crescent shape stared blankly at him in contrast to how he admired its beauty.

_How can God create such radiant magnificence and yet create such horrible things too?_

Tobias had no answer to that. He diverted his mind before they became too overwhelmed with searing images dripping with blood and guilt that were associated with those 'horrible things'.

Instead he set his focus onto the question; it left him pondering even after he stopped watching the moon and went back to bed.

* * *

Breakfast time. This morning's special was scrambled eggs and bacon with orange juice. Tobias sat a table by himself as he ate. When he had woken up this morning, Father and Raphael were gone. He assumed that maybe some guards took them away or that they left on their own. Either way it left Tobias feeling somewhat relieved.

Once he finished, Tobias was allowed to hang out in the 'activity center' for a while before he was given medication. As he sat there reading a book, he was surprised to see an officer approach him. What could he want? He hasn't done anything wrong has he?

The guard stopped in front of Tobias and said, "Tobias, you have a visitor."

Tobias furrowed his brow. A visitor? Who would want to visit him?

He mentally ran a list of possible people yet came up blank. Nevertheless, he set down the book and was escorted by the guard to another room within the prison. The room was large yet smaller than his own room and only contained a table with two chairs—one positioned on each end of the table.

Tobias sat down on one of the chairs while the officer took ahold of his wrists and chained them together and then restrained Tobias to both the table and the chair. At first Tobias was startled then accepted it; it was nothing personal…just standard operating procedures.

Tobias was told to wait a moment before he was briefly left alone. He sighed to himself and again wondered who would come and visit him. It couldn't be his mom. Although the thought was nice, Tobias knew that wasn't possible—he doubted that she even knew that he was here, let alone would want to see him. If she did then she would've a long time ago.

At that moment the door to the room opened and closed and Tobias glanced up. Nervously looking at him through hazel eyes was a tall, thin, pale young man with tousled brown hair. Tobias's eyes widened the second he realized who it was; _the young FBI agent!_

What is _he_ doing here?!

The young man's presence was a complete shock to Tobias. Many times he's thought of the agent while trapped in prison. He felt guilty every time he did but that didn't stop him from wondering if he was okay or what he was doing with his life.

That same guilt gripped him now as he watched the young man anxiously assess him, as if debating whether or not it was safe to approach him.

A weak, scared voice suddenly vibrated through his head. _What's your name…Tobias, who was here before…What are you doing…No, don't…please don't._

That terrified, desperate plea clenched Tobias tighter, threatening to crush him.

Seeing the agent here right now -just a few feet away- left Tobias utterly speechless. For a moment the two stared at each other and didn't say a word. Then very slowly the young man made his way over to the empty seat across from Tobias and cautiously sat down.

It was silent until the agent decided to speak first, "Uh…h-hi Tobias. I-I'm not sure if you…remember me or not but-"

"You're that young man that my father and Raphael were convinced was a follower of Satan." Tobias felt troubled as he quietly interrupted the young man. "H-How could I…not remember you?" _Hurting you was probably one of the worst things I could've ever done._

Tobias watched as the younger man bit his lower lip. "Yeah…I, um, am here with some members of my team to interview another…patient here and when I saw you, I, um, thought I should come."

Again Tobias was reminded of what he's done to the young agent and wondered why he felt compelled to come. "Why? Why should you see me after… what happened? I-if I were you, I'd be glad to get away from my father and Raphael." Suddenly Tobias became nervous as he instinctively glanced around the room, "They're-they're here you know."

The agent looked slightly alarmed yet managed to say, "I know. But they're not now, so we'll have some time to talk." A brief pause. "How are you doing here?"

_He wants to talk? To me?_

Tobias was momentarily confused but decided not to question it. After all if the young man really wanted to talk to one of his abductors, Tobias was glad that it was him. Who knows what Father and Raphael would say –no, _do_- to him if they were here now.

Suppressing a shudder, Tobias answered, "Ok, I guess. People around here are…not natural. Father says it's because they've been consumed by the Devil, but I've…gotten use to them I suppose. No one really bothers me but I know a lot of people who don't like my father or Raphael. Father often gets into fights." Tobias grew slightly sentimental, "I get worried sometimes." It was strange to both care for and fear someone simultaneously.

"Do you, your father, and Raphael share a room together?"

Tobias was caught by surprise. How did he know to inquire such a specific question? It's the like the agent knew the answer before asking.

Tobias briefly remembered his father telling him that since the young man was in the FBI, he foolishly believed that he could see inside men's minds—Tobias was both intrigued yet frightened. How could anyone other than God see inside men's minds?

Now a bit wary, Tobias nodded and replied, "Yeah. Father's not too happy about it but Raphael doesn't seem to mind as long as we say our prayers every night."

Was it just him or did Tobias just see the kid shiver slightly? "Tobias, how often do you speak with your father and Raphael?"

_A lot more often then you'll ever have to do. _

However he kept that to himself as he shrugged, "Almost every day. Sometimes they leave me alone for a while; the most they've both been gone was for a few weeks, but they always come back." It's true. Tobias isn't sure why but sometimes the guards take Father and Raphael away for days at a time—sometimes for a couple of weeks. Tobias assumes it's because the guards feel that Father and Raphael need some 'quiet time' and they put them into solitary confinement—but whatever the reason, it never lasts.

Tobias's shoulders slump and he looks down at the table as he dejectedly adds, "It's like I told you before, Father always finds me." _He always has and he always will._

_It's God's punishment for me._

"How does your father treat you here?"

At the gentle sound of the young man's voice, Tobias looks up and recognizes a sense of sympathy in his eyes.

Within his mind, Tobias mirthlessly scoffs. _He feels bad for me. Huh, it's like he feels sympathy for the devil. Why would he pity a pathetic weakling such as myself…especially when I helped cause his pain and suffering?_

Nevertheless, Tobias held back his bitterness and truthfully yet somewhat nervously answers, "He-he punishes me if I'm bad, but he can't really do much with all the guards around. Whenever he tries to…hit me, someone always comes down and gives Father some medication. It calms him down and I'm left alone for a while."

During his time here, Tobias has received few, infrequent beatings from Father that are always stopped by the guards—just like on his first day. It frustrated Father but he made do with attacking Tobias with his harsh criticisms and vicious rebukes rather than with his fists.

The young man thoughtfully nods as if musing about something then asks, "What about Raphael?"

_So not only does he remember Father but he remembers the archangel too. _"Raphael doesn't talk with me much. He often preaches to everyone here about following God and tries to show them the way of the Lord. Sometimes I'm there to watch but other times I hear about it or he tells me later. Otherwise we don't talk much."

The agent nods again, "Do the doctors give Raphael medicine too?"

The medicine.

Tobias has never been able to figure out what exactly that medication does to him, Father, and Raphael when they're forced to take it. He just knows that when one of them is injected, he's seized by exhaustion and whenever he wakes up, he's left alone for a while. And yet no matter how many times he's taken it, he's scared of the effects every time.

He was so constricted by his thoughts that Tobias was only able to manage a single nod as his answer.

The agent caught on to his silence and gently prods, "When they do, does he leave?"

Again, it's like the young man could see inside his mind.

Before he could stop himself, he confesses, "Yeah…I-I don't like it when they give me medicine. It numbs me and calms me down and I don't…like it. It…reminds me of the Dilaudid, but it's not the same. It makes me miss it." Tobias views the medicine as an unnerving curse that frightens him every time he's injected—he doesn't want to take it yet has no other choice.

_(Shaky breaths and whimpering) Please, I don't want it, I don't want it, please!_

_Trust me… (softly adds) I know._

_(Whimpers again) Please don't…_

Tobias had to blink to make those memories go away. The images of the young man's fear of the Dilaudid were somewhat similar to his dislike of the medicine. What are the odds?

Then Tobias's eyes quickly widened for a second. _Wait a minute..._

However Tobias couldn't reflect on any oncoming thoughts as he noticed the agent jump in his chair, his expression shifting from somewhat wary and sympathetic to anxious and guilty. Tobias could only think of one reason for that sudden change. "You-you wouldn't happen to have some on you, would you?"

Tobias _really_ hoped that he did. If the young agent had some and was willing to share…oh the ecstasy he would experience. He wanted to feel the Dilaudid coursing through him and making things better for the time being.

However, his hopes dissolved in front of him when the agent answered sharply, "No. I-I don't have any."

Tobias was slightly taken aback by the young man's defensive tone and by the fact that he didn't have any Dilaudid. "You don't? But…I thought you liked it. It…made the pain go away, didn't it?"

Tobias remembered that after a few times of injecting the drug into the captive agent, the younger man had initially resisted it but eventually had gotten used to it and even seemed to want it. Of course he never begged for it but Tobias could see the desire flashing brightly in his eyes whenever he came by. He could easily relate.

Tobias was surprised to see shame taint the young man's innocent facial features as he answered, "Yeah, it did…but it's not healthy. It did…horrible things to me. I…was addicted to it for a while."

_Yup, it's both heaven and hell—an escape that provides solace and sanctuary but also brings about darkness as retribution for that brief moment._

Tobias found it interesting that he and the young man have so many things in common: they both fear Father and Raphael, they both have been beaten by Father, they both have been intimidated by Father's preaching and Raphael's way of upholding God's will, they both find satisfaction through Dilaudid, and both have been dubbed as pathetic sinners by Father and Raphael. Who would've thought?

He found himself inclining his head in understanding. "I know, I've been there." Then a thought occurred to him. "Do you still take it?"

Tobias was somewhat startled to see the kid shake his head vigorously. "No! I've been clean for months now. I'm never going to touch that stuff again!"

_What has this man gone through to provoke such a reaction? _Tobias cautiously nodded, "Oh, ok…well good for you, I guess." What else could he really say? "I kinda wish I had some myself. It'd make things easier. Everyday I'm told about what Father and Raphael did to those people and I feel bad. I could've stopped them if I was stronger." Once again Tobias felt that familiar guilt setting in.

Those poor people were dead…because he was weak.

Tobias's heart constricted when he heard the unforgettable slicing of a blade when it slit throats, the terrified screams of the women frightened by Raphael's brutality, the sounds of flesh being ruthlessly ripped apart by unruly dogs…

And that blood…so much blood. Tobias will never forget the looks of pure horror on each of those people's faces when pain descended upon them, only for death to mercifully relieve them.

And then there was the young agent.

Tobias remembers when he was in the cornfield, being forced to point a gun at the young man while Father angrily ordered him to shoot him. Tobias couldn't, he just couldn't—especially when he saw the sheer terror in the agent's widened eyes. So he had no other option than to take the kid and try to redeem him from his sins.

The first time the young man looked at him since he was brought there showed that he was obviously terrified. Tobias received that look a few more times during the agent's captivity and he hated whenever he had to leave the younger man alone with either his father or Raphael.

Then there was that one time he was forced to sit back and do nothing as Father tried to beat a confession out of him; it broke his heart and made him sick with guilt—particularly when the young man desperately cried out to him for help, choking on his sobs of pain.

_This ends now. Confess your sins. (Father hits him when he doesn't respond; Tobias becomes alarmed) Confess!_

_I haven't done anything! (Father hits him again; Tobias cringes)_

_(Through tears) Tobias, help me! _

_(I-I can't…what can I do?)_

_He can't help you, he's weak. (He-he's right…I'm sorry)_

_Tobias..._

_Confess! Confess your sins._

_No._

Tobias caught ahold of himself before he could lose himself in the past. He didn't want to relive in that particular moment again. It was hard enough to watch the first time. The agent's fear, his shaking form, his tears, Father's brutality, the young man lapsing into a seizure and…_dying_—it was horrifying to witness.

How could he sit back and do nothing?! How could he let Father and Raphael hurt him?! The young agent may be a sinner but he surely wasn't a demon—no, he was too pure to be so; Tobias gathered that for himself whenever he talked to him…and what he still believes now.

"I'm so sorry for what they've done to you." Tobias barely registered the softness in his own voice. "I…don't even know where to begin…they were hurting you and yet I didn't do much…I-I wanted to help you, to save you but I…couldn't and I just—I'm so sorry." Tobias couldn't say anymore as he hung his head in shame, battling to keep his emotions in check and to not cry.

_This poor boy suffered…because of me. God is right to punish me. I deserve to be locked up forever for everything I've ever done to this kid…and so many other people._

"Tobias." He looked up when he was addressed. Tobias expected to see disgust and animosity in the young agent's eyes but was surprised to only see compassion, sympathy, and…something else that Tobias couldn't properly identify.

"It-it's okay. It wasn't your fault. I-I don't blame you."

Tobias's eyes widened. _What?_

Tobias searched the young man's face to see if he was actually genuine and found no traces of lies or deception—he appeared a bit uncertain yet sincere. "You-you don't?"

When the agent earnestly nodded, Tobias decided to test the waters, "Honest? You really don't?"

The young man nodded again, igniting a warm glow of happiness within Tobias. He forgave him—he actually forgave him! This agent is much more pure and strong than Tobias originally anticipated; he was willing to forgive Tobias even after everything that happened to him.

Suddenly Tobias felt lighter, as if God had graciously lifted his spirit and had disintegrated a partial load of his heavy guilt. So God hadn't forsaken him after all! This young agent was a message from Him to confirm that!

Never before had Tobias ever felt so giddy. "You-you don't know how happy it makes me to hear that from you. I've thought of you so many times and felt guilty for what I couldn't do to help you. But I feel…better knowing that you don't blame me. Thank you for giving me that solace."

He smiled brightly, earning a small smile from the agent in return. At that moment Tobias realized that he liked that look on him. He's only seen the kid smile once out of relief, gratitude, and weariness but Tobias didn't think it really counted since he had literally been pulled out of death's grasp only moments ago at the time; _anyone_ would've mustered a wry smile at that situation.

"Thank you for bringing me back to life that day," the young man suddenly stated. "I-I wouldn't be here if you hadn't have saved me."

Tobias's smile softened; apparently the agent was thinking of the same thing he was. "You're welcome…umm, err…" he struggled for a moment, "gosh I-I don't even know your name." Tobias shrugged apologetically. They had known each other for two days straight and Tobias never even bothered to learn his name; how ironic.

The young agent's smile became gentle, "My name is Spencer Reid."

_Spencer Reid._

The name sounded soothing and was a source of openness and compassion.

"Spencer Reid," Tobias repeated the name thoughtfully, trying it out for himself. "That's a good Christian name. It uh…suits you."

Spencer smiled a bit more, "Thanks, I-"

"What the hell is going on here?!" Spencer jumped and Tobias flinched as that dreaded voice charged though the room.

Father was back.

He was sitting right next to Tobias, glaring at him as his expression demanded an answer.

Since when did _he_ get back?! How on earth was he even able to slip into the room without either him or Spencer noticing?! He must've been so absorbed in the conversation that neither of them heard Father come in.

Shaking with fear, Tobias stuttered, "F-f-f-father! Y-you're here! I-"

"What's going on here, boy?!" Father suddenly cut him off in anger, "Are you talking with them devils again?!"

Tobias was doing his best not show his fear but was miserably failing; he just couldn't seem to stop trembling nor could he form coherent words. "N-no! I-I wouldn't Father! I swear! I-I was just-"

He turned to Spencer, hoping that the young man would help him. Unfortunately, his gaze caused Father to look as well.

Spencer squeaked in terror as Father glared at him. Tobias felt an icy grip in his chest as the young agent was fixated.

_Oh no._

Maybe it would be better if Spencer ran for it rather than try and stick up for him. Tobias could easily see the fear in Spencer's eyes and how his thin body was rigid with tension.

Suddenly Father's hard eyes lit up with recognition, "You! I remember you, you damned devil! You're the Satan boy that was given to my son! What the hell are you doing here?! Trying to manipulate my son's weak mind again?!"

Then Father unexpectedly slammed down hard on the table in front of him with his fists and Spencer flinched and sprang up from his chair.

Tobias so desperately wanted to blurt out that Spencer wasn't a Satan boy and that he's wasn't doing anything wrong but he just couldn't. Father's anger was beyond controllable and Tobias was afraid of it being directed towards him.

"N-no!" Spencer managed to sputter out despite his apparent terror. "I would n-never try to do that! Please, Mr. Hankel, I wasn't d-doing anything…I was only-"

"You're a liar!" Father slammed his chained fists down on the table again, causing Tobias to flinch in alarm. "You were a liar before and you still are now! I know that heathens like you sin every goddamned day and you try to conform the weak! Well you can't conform me! I'm stronger than pathetic weaklings like my son and I'm sure as hell stronger than you! Do you hear me, boy?! DO YOU?!"

Spencer was whiter than an unmarked sheet of blank paper and he attempted to recoil…only for Father to seize him by the arm!

Panic, alarm, and dread clawed at Tobias as he watched Spencer yelp in fear and fiercely struggle against Father's hold. _Leave him alone!_

Tobias wanted to scream out those words and to pull Father away from Spencer, to keep him from hurting the young man further. Unfortunately his throat was dry with dismay and his limbs were inactive due to his dominating hysteria.

_Shoot him!_

_I don't want to!_

_I said, shoot him you weakling. He's a Satan._

_(Tobias trembles) He didn't do anything!_

_I won't tell you another time, boy…Shoot him!_

As that memory shimmered in Tobias's subconscious, he realized that this situation is similar to that one from before; Tobias had been too afraid to stand up to his father then and was still terrified now.

This time was different, however. Tobias wasn't pointing a gun at Spencer and he actually knows him now compared to how they were complete strangers before.

He watched as Spencer hopelessly strained to get free while Father mirthlessly leered over him, clenching the agent's arm tighter and inciting a pained whimper from him.

Tobias had to do something—he had to help Spencer.

"God will teach you a lesson on sinning, boy!" Tobias briefly hesitated when Father decided to continue. "You may have escaped punishment the first time, but that only makes things worse for you! He shall not have mercy on you and you will suffer before you die!"

_Die?!_ Was Father planning on killing Spencer…here?!

_No, no, he can't! He wouldn't! _Panic compressed Tobias until he couldn't breathe.

Spencer cried out and struggled even harder. Unfortunately Father was just too strong. "No! Let me go! Please! Tobias! Where are you?! Please come back!"

_'Where am I'? I'm right here! I never left!_

However Tobias disregarded the resulting confusion and was just about to intervene when Father ferociously snarled, "He's not gonna help a sinner like you! No one gives a damn anyway!" He then pulled Spencer closer as if to emphasize his point.

_You're wrong! I care! I give a damn!_

But before Tobias could take over, the door to the room suddenly burst open and several people rushed in. A serious-looking man with dark hair pulled Spencer from Father's grasp while another dark-skinned, muscular man yanked Father backwards—Tobias recognized them as the FBI agents who were there to rescue Spencer that day. Four guards instantly restrained Father who almost immediately began to fight back.

Then two doctors ran in, one of them rolling up Father's sleeve while the other was preparing a needle—_the medication._

Tobias's instinctual unease of the medicine was overshadowed with his relief that Father was going to be prevented from hurting Spencer.

He smiled ever so slightly as Father swore out all sorts of profanities until the doctor injected him with the needle. Father angrily yelled out and fought harder. The guards appeared to be straining with difficulty at detaining Father but managed to do so as he slowly ceased his struggling.

Simultaneously Tobias felt that familiar sense of weariness begin to settle unto him. As much as he hates that drug, it's for the best. If that's what it takes to keep Father away from Spencer then so be it—he'll allow it to take him without complaint.

He barely heard the other agents ask Spencer if he was okay and he witnessed the younger man's tentative nod of confirmation.

_It's okay…he's okay. He's not hurt. Father can't hurt him. He's okay._

The combination of that mantra with the medicine relaxed Tobias as he felt himself slowly slipping away; even Father only seemed mildly irritated rather than furiously angry.

Tobias saw the agents begin to lead out Spencer and the young man turned around to look at him one last time. Tobias hoped that Spencer understood that he never meant to hurt him and that he was sorry—so, so sorry.

And yet, a simple glance wasn't enough. "I'm sorry, Spencer. Really, I am. I'm so sorry."

Then the door shut, whisking away Tobias's last words before he slipped into the calm darkness.

* * *

**Well...any thoughts?**

**I hope no one was confused but 'Charles' did take control at that scene for a moment before Tobias took it back.**

**Anyways, I hope you liked this! But don't fret: unlike "Sympathy for the Devil", it's not going to end here-there's still more to the story...****_much_**** more. And of course Reid will make a regular appearance! After all, where there's Tobias, there's Reid :D**

**I hope you enjoyed this chapter! The next one will be up before you know it! Buh-bye! :)**

**P.S. I put a little insider joke in here. Can you find it? If you get it right, I'll give you a cupcake! :)**

***Hint: it's contained within Tobias's thoughts and it relates to the story before this one.**


	6. Never Alone

**Hey how's it going? I thought I'd be nice and update earlier than I originally planned to.**

**You don't how happy I am to be posting this! Literally after I posted up the last chapter, my laptop went wonky and for a moment I thought I permanently lost the files to this story! I save all my Fanfiction stuff on my laptop's hard drive so when it refused to work, I freaked out! I was so depressed until my amazing dad managed to get someone to fix my laptop _and_ save the files! Woo hoo! To ensure that another heart attack like that doesn't happen again, I got a flashdrive for my writing! Yay! The lesson is: don't take technology for granted and always have a back-up plan :D**

***Note: ignore the randomness above, I'm just that relieved.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds...why can't I be CBS? :P**

**Warnings: some language and violence, indirect spoilers to "Revelations", brief references to drugs**

**You may now proceed to read :)**

* * *

Hours passed before Tobias woke up in his bed, feeling a bit light-headed and again wearing handcuffs on his wrists. He groggily got up and glanced around the room. It took him a moment to realize that he was back in his cell and that he was alone.

Tobias absent-mindedly rubbed his head, as if trying to conjure what had happened. He briefly closed his eyes and allowed the water of memories to gently wade through. He was reading in the 'activity center'…then he was informed that he had a visitor…he was led to another room…

All at once Tobias remembered; Spencer, his forgiveness, their talk…Father.

Tobias shuddered at the memory of his father grabbing Spencer and had to clasp his hands together for support. Yes…Spencer had visited him and they talked…Spencer even forgave him for kidnapping him. Tobias recalled the joy he had felt, knowing that a fraction of his guilt has disintegrated…only to be horrified by Father's unexpected presence.

Tobias blanched and trembled slightly until he recalled the other agents coming to Spencer's aid and Father being apprehended. Spencer's safe now. Wherever he is now, he's okay. God's looking out for him—His gift to Tobias for his attempts at redemption.

As the thought sunk in, Tobias allowed himself to relax. Slowly gaining God's forgiveness is wonderful yet not as powerful as knowing that Spencer Reid had forgiven him. Now _that_ is truly a remarkable treasure.

* * *

Tobias was allowed the privilege of a few days peace before Father reemerged. Although he was glad that at least Raphael was still gone, Tobias wasn't too thrilled with Father's return.

He had been in his cell reading a book and relaxing when Father suddenly stormed in, fuming with the sort of rage that couldn't be easily diverted.

At first Tobias was afraid, but he was determined not to let his fear control his actions. He tried to remain calm as Father furiously shouted, "Goddammit boy! Can't you do nothing right?! You let them silence me and now I find you reading non-Christian literature!" He then proceeded to slap the book out of Tobias's hands. Try as he might, Tobias couldn't hold back a flinch.

Father ignored it and continued, "You pathetic waste! How dare you let them take me away and do nothing about it! _Nothing!_ You've broken the 5th commandment boy! You refuse to 'honor thy father'…hell you haven't honored me once since the day you were born! I'm surprised that God hasn't struck you down for your insolence!"

Finally regaining himself, Tobias managed to reply, "There-there was nothing I could do, Father! When-whenever they g-give us that medicine, it just-"

"Enough of your lies, boy!" Father growled, "I'm sick of hearing excuses for your sins! You're just as bad as all those other sinning bastards Raphael killed! If we hadn't needed you for scoping out all those devils, then I would've slit your throat and did God a favor!"

Tobias was now violently shaking but kept himself from breaking down, "Those-those p-people may have s-sinned b-but they didn't d-deserve to die! God would've punished them Himself without our interference if He truly deemed them evil!"

A hard hand ruthlessly back-handed Tobias and he gave out a short yell. Father glared at him and angrily countered, "We weren't interfering, boy, we were doing the Lord's work!"

Instead of backing down like he usually would have, Tobias gathered his courage and firmly responded, "W-we were breaking a commandment!"

Father seemed taken aback by Tobias's declaration and it gave him the nerve to continue with rapidly increasing passion and without stutter, "The 6th commandment states that 'thou shall not kill' but we _were_ killing! I'm sure God wasn't happy with what we were doing! It was wrong and now he's punishing us by leaving us here! H-has that ever occurred to you?!"

Tobias took a breath and watched his father stare at him with utter shock. Then he realized what he just said and was surprised by his own boldness. How on earth had he managed to _say_ that?! Sure he _thought _of it but saying it…now _that _was unexpected! Never had Tobias thought of himself standing up to Father before. What's changed?

_Spencer's visit seems to have invigorated you._

If the current situation wasn't so tense then Tobias might've smiled. Although he can't name it, something about Spencer's conversation with him sparked something within him. Now he felt more compelled to live through his living conditions. It probably stemmed from his forgiveness; it made him feel normal and clean again—not entirely pure but he's willing to work to earn it.

Father literally back-handed him out of his thoughts and thundered, "What the hell has gotten into you, boy?! What the _fuck_ gives you the right to speak to me like that?! What kind of a devil has possessed you to _contradict_ me?!"

Tobias was still reeling from the sting of the blow to reply. Father's eyes then widened slightly as he seemed to grasp an idea. "It's that devil boy from before, wasn't it?"

Tobias daunted at Father's revelation but refused to say a word, hoping that Father wouldn't catch on to the truth.

Unfortunately Father caught that flash of alarm and was convinced. He narrowed his eyes at Tobias and growled, "I'm right, aren't I? You were talking to him again like before—letting him taint your impure soul with his preaching of Satan! And knowing how weak you are, you _easily_ believed him! Damn it boy! Don't you know that following the path of a heathen is a sin?!"

Fingers clenched the edge of the bed as Tobias suppressed a wince, suddenly his earlier resolve slowly diminishing. "He-he wasn't speaking the words of devils! We-we were just talking! S-Spencer is not a heathen! He-"

"Spencer Reid is a manipulating, lying sinner! He's dishonored his mother just like how you dishonor me and he's defied the Lord by escaping his punishment!"

Tobias couldn't help a flinch this time. _He knows Spencer's name! How is that possible?!_

"That boy thinks himself as a savior! Like another God," Father's jaw line hardened with every word, "Raphael says that he believes that he can see inside men's minds. So not only is he a dishonorable wretch but he's a bastard of a demon! It disgusts me that my own son actually talked to him. It's his fault that we're here!"

Then he proceeded to hit Tobias again. He cried out and flattened himself against the wall as best as he could. But before father could land another blow, a figure suddenly intervened and stepped between them. Tobias blinked—it was Raphael. He was somewhat relieved yet he also inwardly groaned. Can't he ever catch a break?

The archangel decided to address Father first, "That's enough. You've made your point." Father seemed angrily shocked that Raphael was interfering but reluctantly relented, not wanting to refuse an order from one of God's assistants.

Raphael then turned to Tobias and said, "I suggest you listen to your Father. He's done well to serve the Lord and he knows what he's talking about. That agent boy is a sinner who needs to repent for what he's done. And you need redemption for your sins as well."

Tobias has sometimes found himself somewhat more intimidated by Raphael than by his father and now was a perfect example. "I…I'm trying, really I am! And I can…tell that God is forgiving me! Why else would Spencer return?"

"His visit has nothing to do with anything." Raphael smoothly countered without any reaction. "It only solidifies that the two of you have done wrong and that mercy shall not ease his soul. When God deems it best, the boy will die in the fiery pits of Hell."

Tobias grew pale and felt ready to retch; the thought of Spencer suffering brought up old memories and new graphic images.

"But in the meantime," Raphael continued, "you'll work on gaining your own salvation. And you'll start by listening to me and your father. Within time, you might be deemed righteous enough to be welcomed into Heaven."

Tobias stared with his mouth agape while Father sneered with satisfaction. Two against one…and one's an archangel. That's not fair.

Tobias felt utterly powerless as he looked at both of the men in front of him. But he didn't have time to protest when a couple of guards came in to escort him and the others to dinner. Tobias kept silent as he, Father, and the archangel were led along. Even as he ate, he refused to talk to with either man. They didn't want to converse with him either and mercifully left him alone and didn't cause a scene; they didn't need to say anything—they had gotten their point across.

Tobias sighed to himself; this is how it's going to be for the rest of his life—always yielding to Father and Raphael's wishes and demands. He didn't have a say in anything and he was too weak to resist. He may have found reticent favor in God's eyes but that doesn't change anything; he will always be a sinner…and he'll always be trapped here.

* * *

A week had passed since his visit to the institution and Dr. Spencer Reid was at his desk in at the BAU, writing a letter to his mom. He had already finished his paperwork for the day and he had nothing better to do so he felt it was a good time to write. The office around him hummed with scattered conversations and the scratch of pens on paper. It had been a dull day—no case to work on and nothing else to do.

And for a relatively fast-paced mind like Reid's, the day only dragged on slower. He finished his letter within minutes and sighed to himself. He glanced around the room and noticed his colleagues were still working diligently on their own paperwork. He'd offer to take some files and they accepted gratefully. However, Reid was even done with _their_ work and was questioning if he should ask if they needed help again.

He lounged back in his chair and briefly closed his eyes. There was just nothing to do. Sure he could always go home early but that particular idea didn't appeal to Reid. But what else _could_ he do? Reid supposed he could go to Garcia's office and see if she needed help.

But first he felt necessary to go over the files one last time to check for any error. Reid released another sigh and glimpsed at his work again. Everything seemed to be in order and after a while Reid's mind began to drift off.

He thought of his mother and wondered how she was doing at Bennington. He hoped that she was taking her medications properly. He knew how much she distrusted her medication.

_I-I don't like it when they give me medicine._

_It numbs me and calms me down and I don't…like it._

Spencer's hazel eyes widened for a moment.

Tobias.

Ever since he got back from the institution, Reid felt somewhat released from his inner demons—the visit and the talk with Tobias had done him some good. He thought of every detail and each and every word of their conversation regularly this past week and he evaluated their meaning. Forgiving Tobias had been a shock to him but none more so than the man's apology. Something about that talk invigorated Reid to gain confidence in his future. He knew the path to healing wasn't easy but he was more willing to confront it rather than hide from it…behind Dilaudid.

An involuntary shiver jerked Reid from his musings.

Sure he was somehow better after that talk but he still felt bad for Tobias's condition. He was doomed to be chained with Charles and Raphael forever. And the fact that Tobias had mentioned that no one really talked to him because of his personalities twisted Reid's gut. He was technically all alone in that institution.

Almost like his mother…

Reid instantly shook his head to halt that oncoming thought. No! His mom was not alone! She had friends at Bennington and she even lectured there on occasion. And of course she had him…when he wrote to her.

Although Reid still felt guilty for not taking enough time to visit her, at least he wrote a letter to her every day whereas Tobias had no one inside or outside the institution to socialize with. Now _that_ made Reid feel even worse. He was alone in a prison for mentally unstable and very dangerous criminals with only a violent, abusive man and a murderous, impassive archangel for company…both of which are mere figments of his fractured mind.

Suddenly filled with resolve, Reid took out another sheet of paper and began to write. He wrote with furious intensity, scrawling out words and erasing defective statements. He didn't stop until he was sure he had everything down and by then it was already time to go home for the day.

* * *

Another four days passed and still Tobias was unhappy. Father was particularly angry today and little things set him off. He had gotten into a fight with Earl the 'Slender man' at breakfast so now Tobias was forced into solitude of his cell after being given a shot of his medicine. He was alone now and he liked it that way. Neither Father nor Raphael would bug him for a while and he was willing to make the most of that time.

He lay flat on his back on the bed and staring up at the ceiling. Because of Father's incident, Tobias was confiscated of his books but was left with the Bible. Of course Tobias had no interest in reading it since he practically knew it by heart.

So instead he was alone…with his thoughts.

He thought of his mother and wondered why she left the family for another man.

He thought of Father and how horribly he treated him for several years and wouldn't even allow him sanctuary.

He thought of Raphael and his apathetic ruthlessness towards…everyone.

He thought of this place with these people—maybe they _are _heathens with the way they act.

Torrents of self-pity flooded Tobias. Was life always going to be hard for him? Was God ever going to truly forgive him? Can life just stop for one second so that he could breathe and catch a moment of peace…just one? It's all he wants and it's all he'll ever ask for.

The bolt to the lock on the cell door unlatched and a single guard stepped in. Tobias was startled by the sudden intrusion and watched the officer with caution.

The man didn't give any indication of reassurance or trouble as he evenly said, "You have a letter, Tobias." Then he held out his hand to him—in it was a clean envelope with a postage stamp and neat writing on the front.

Tobias stared at it, unsure of whether or not to take it, "A letter? From who?"

"I don't know, I haven't looked at it. But the stamp came from Quantico, Virginia." Then he practically shoved it into Tobias's hand.

With no choice other than to take it, Tobias lightly grasped the envelope as the guard left without another word.

_Quantico? I don't think I know anyone from Quantico._

Though wary of what could be inside, Tobias was also curious. He glimpsed at the address and his eyes widened when he read a familiar name.

_SSA Dr. Spencer Reid_

Spencer? This letter's from Spencer?

Shaking off his initial shock, Tobias's mouth twitched into a smile.

Spencer wrote him something! What could it be?

He lightly tore open the envelope and pulled out its contents—there were three pages worth of writing inside.

A jolt of delight went through Tobias for a moment before it was doused with confusion and nervous anxiety. Why would Spencer want to write him? He certainly has no reason to since his visit somewhat cleared the air.

But what if that's what this letter's about? What if Spencer was angry and disdainful at him for Father's behavior and wanted to take back his apology? What if he wanted to tell Tobias that he hated him…that visiting him had been a mistake?

Tobias's stomach clenched while his hands shook. Oh god…he didn't want Spencer to hate him. He didn't want to believe that he would write such horrible things about him. And yet…they'd be true. Tobias almost wished that Spencer didn't come by just to spare him that scarring imprint of his father's infamous fury.

Almost.

Spencer's forgiveness was the best thing Tobias could ever ask for and he didn't want that taken away…especially not from Spencer himself.

And yet if he didn't read the letter, then how will he know what Spencer's thinking in regards to his visit?

Without any other choice than to read what Spencer had to say, Tobias reluctantly unfolded the first page of the letter and began to read. As his eyes travelled down the entire page…and onto the next one…and the last one…Tobias's concern disintegrated as a smile took over his face.

_Dear Tobias,_

_Hi. It's me, Spencer Reid. Please disregard the credentials on the envelope but if I didn't write them in, then I'm positive that the guards at the institute wouldn't let you have this. I just wanted to make sure that you get this and right now I'm hoping you're reading this._

_I don't want you to be upset by what happened with your father during our talk. I know you have no control over your father's actions and I know that standing up to him is difficult. Many times I've wanted to do so myself while I was held hostage in that cabin, but I was too afraid to. Fear doesn't make you weak, Tobias. It just makes you human. And the fact that you defied your father by trying to help me makes you stronger and braver than you believe yourself to be. _

_A wise man once quoted that 'being brave doesn't mean you're afraid of nothing but that you're willing to face your fears despite being afraid'. It's okay to be afraid, Tobias. Everyone in this world has been afraid before—even your father and Raphael. I don't blame you for being human. What happened the last time we saw each other wasn't your fault. If our roles were reversed, I know I would've been terrified as well. But that doesn't make us weak—it doesn't make _you_ weak._

_I'm sorry I didn't get a chance to say this to you in person when I was here but my colleagues wouldn't have allowed it. Again, this isn't your fault and it's only your father's. Anyways, I'm hoping that this letter will ease any ill feelings._

_I know I've asked this already but how are you doing? I know it's only been approximately a week since we've talked but I'm curious if anything's changed. I also didn't get a chance to ask other questions about your time here. Although you claimed that you keep to yourself, but do you have anyone that you interact with? Maybe a fellow patient or even a guard? Also, how well are you treated at the institution? Are you having trouble with anyone, are the meals adequate, are you being neglected? _

_I would like to know your condition because if there are any problems, I'm sure I could assist with fixing that; my boss would be able make a few calls that would make you more comfortable. Unfortunately there's nothing I can do for less interactions between you, your father, and Raphael—you'll have to rely on the doctors for your medication. Please try not to dislike the medicine so much. Trust me when I say that it does help you, Tobias. I know you miss the Dilaudid but I meant what I said it's not healthy. It causes terrible damage to your psychosis and it internally damages your internal organs and overall brain function. It also radically alters your mood and behavior as the drug messes with your body's chemicals._

_Sorry that you have to read this, but it's true. I know from experience. When I was suffering from withdrawal, I was short-tempered, restless, and unpleasant to say the least—I lashed out at all my friends, especially to one in particular who's done nothing but try to help me since I've known her. I'm clean now and I haven't had the decency to even apologize for my behavior. So believe me when I say that Dilaudid is awful—for lack of a better word._

_When the doctors give you the medicine, please don't hate it. It's for your own health and it will give you peace from your father and Raphael. I'm sorry that I can't change your condition but I promise you that things will get better in time. You're a good, honest person, Tobias. If you weren't then I wouldn't have visited you nor would I be writing to you now. For those who tell you that you're to blame for your father and Raphael's killings, they are wrong. They don't know your situation and they don't know who you really are since they're ignorant and narrow-minded and they only see your father and Raphael. Don't let them get to you Tobias—you know that those murders were wrong and you did want to stop them. That says so much about you whether or not you think so._

_I'm sorry for rambling but I wanted to make sure that you knew that you're not at fault. I still don't blame you for kidnapping me; if you hadn't then your father would've shot me dead in that cornfield. I won't lie and say that being tortured wasn't one of the worst things that ever happened to me -it was- but in the end it made me stronger and it put your father and Raphael to justice. Besides, I'm alive now because of you and I really appreciate you for doing your best to help me and care for my well-being. Thank you. Please know that I still forgive you and that I wish you all the best. Don't feel obligated to write back—I'll understand if you choose not to. Just keep in mind that you're not weak and that you're not to blame for any of this. Please take care of yourself. _

_Sincerely,_

_Spencer Reid_

* * *

**What do you think of Reid's letter? Did I capture his mannerisms decently?**

**The next chapter will be up soon and that's a promise since my new flashdrive will keep my Fanfiction files safe and sound :)**

**See you next time!**


	7. Written Sheets of Paper

**Happy Blorthog everyone! (Anyone else watch Teen Titans?)**

**Okay...so maybe it's not Blorthog but I feel like I have to celebrate! You reviewers, readers, and followers have been so nice that I feel like I have to give you something!**

**Wrapped up in this chapter is a present you all have to share: an appearence from the BAU team! Woo!**

**So yeah, this is my present to all of you! Thanks for your comments and thanks for reading this! I appreciate it :D**

**Disclaimer: If I owned Criminal Minds, then I'd be rich enough to make my thanks more extravagent :)**

**Warnings: ****_brief_**** suggestive themes, ****_mild_**** language, indirect spoilers to "Revelations", mild drug reference**

**Additional warnings: this chapter may not be suitable for mortals who are unable to withstand the mighty, awesome effect of tech goddess Penelope Garcia combined with the image of a smoking hot Derek Morgan XD **

* * *

Tobias couldn't stop smiling once he finished the letter. He read it over a few times to make sure he wasn't imagining this. But he wasn't—the letter was really there and he really just read something from Spencer.

So that means the young agent still forgave him and that there were no hard feelings between them.

Tobias's smile widened when he realized something else—Spencer didn't blame him for those murders. He seemed to firmly believe that it was all Father and Raphael's doing. Tobias personally didn't think that this was true and that he had to share _some_ of the blame; after all, he provided the means to spy on those people. But still…it's nice to know that at least Spencer's opinion is enlightening and open-minded.

Tobias briefly remembered that nurse who treated him over a year ago—Brenda. Despite that Dr. Wilson and those guards seemed to distrust him (for obvious reasons), Brenda was kind and friendly to him—she even declared that she didn't blame him for the murders. In a way, she and Spencer were alike; they both are young, innocent, and pure.

Not to mention that they're the only people in a long time that have made Tobias feel at ease, that he's actually human.

Didn't Spencer mention that? Yes, he did. He justified Tobias's weakness by claiming that he's human and that his fear of his father is completely natural; Tobias absolutely loved the quote that Spencer mentioned about fear and courage. Tobias smiled to himself; he wished that Spencer would've told him all of this in person. He might've actually believed it.

Despite the genuine kindness in Spencer's words, Tobias knew that Spencer shouldn't be trying to excuse him for being pathetic. Tobias knows how weak he was and still is. Spencer is just too young and kind a soul to realize this himself.

Still…the fact that Spencer doesn't blame him and still forgives him is something Tobias can accept. He really didn't want to hurt anyone; he's not like his father nor Raphael. If it were up to him, those people would be alive today. He would let God handle their punishment for sinning.

But this wasn't the case. Six people were dead…and so many more would've followed if Father and Raphael weren't captured.

But it wasn't his fault.

Brenda believes it and Spencer believes it.

Spencer Reid doesn't think he's a monster.

His heart swelled with joy as tears filled his eyes and trickled down his face. He didn't bother brushing them away and allowed them to fall; they weren't tears of weakness…they were tears of pure happiness. Tobias can't remember the last time he's felt so happy. He's felt satisfaction whenever he injected himself with Dilaudid but that wasn't the same. Even the contentment he felt when Spencer was saved didn't compare to the giddiness he was feeling now.

At that moment, he didn't feel like a pathetic waste. He didn't feel like a sinning heathen. He didn't feel worthless. He felt human.

Tobias took a deep breath and firmly caught ahold of his emotions. He reread the letter again and wondered what to do afterwards.

Tobias knew exactly what he wanted to do; he wanted to write back of course.

He knew he had to hurry in case Father or Raphael returned so he quickly called in an officer and asked for some paper and a pencil. The guard was reluctant but eventually did as Tobias asked once the man had promised that he'd let him read the letter just in case. Tobias wasn't too thrilled about someone else reading his letter to Spencer yet he had to allow it or else Spencer will never get it.

Once he had some paper and a pencil in hand, Tobias immediately sat down at his desk and began to write. The only sound in the room was lead being feverishly scrawled on paper as Tobias wrote a response to Spencer.

When the guard read over the letter and deemed it unthreatening, he nodded in approval and gave Tobias an envelope and stamp. Reading the return address on the front of Spencer's letter, Tobias wrote it on the new envelope, put his name on it, placed his own letter inside, and sealed it with the stamp.

The guard promised to mail the letter for him and Tobias was happy when he left. He was excited and anxious for Spencer to read it. It may not be as sophisticated or formal as Spencer's yet Tobias was satisfied with its contents.

Now the only thing left to do was to figure out what to do with Spencer's letter to him.

Tobias wanted to keep it but was afraid of Father or Raphael finding it and throwing it away, dubbing it 'a sinner's writing' or something. But he _really_ didn't want to get rid of it so he had to hide it. But where?

Tobias looked around the room but couldn't seem to find an ideal location.

He couldn't hide it under the mattress because he didn't want it to crumple up.

He couldn't hide it in his pillow case because that, the blankets, and bed sheets were regularly taken away to be washed. He couldn't risk losing it to the washing machine.

Perhaps he could hide it _under_ his pillow?

Tobias shook his head. No, that wouldn't work. The guards who washed his sheets would probably find it and throw it away, suspecting it as either garbage or something bad.

But where else is there?

Tobias's brown eyes latched onto the Bible lying conveniently on the desk and wondered if it was a good idea to hide the letter in there. No, it wasn't. Father occasionally read the Bible either for his own entertainment or to lecture Tobias on the wrongdoings of sin. Although this was infrequent, Tobias couldn't risk Father finding the letter if he were to put it there.

Now if he had one of his other books then he'd hide the letter in one of them and there wouldn't be a problem; after all, neither Father nor Raphael would dare touch 'heathen literature'.

Suddenly Tobias brightened. _Of course._

Tobias resolved to place the letter in one of his books once he got them back. And to ensure that they won't be confiscated again, he'll hide them under his bed so they won't be seen nor touched…hopefully. And to ensure that the book with Spencer's letter wasn't taken away, Tobias decided to hide _that_ book under his mattress.

It may not be the best place but it will have to do.

In the meantime, Tobias has to get back those books.

And until then, he's not letting that letter out of his sight.

* * *

Three days later at Quantico, Virginia the BAU team had just gotten back from a case in Los Angeles, California; two men were invading homes and slaughtering the people they robbed for the heck of it. The unsubs were difficult to catch but the team managed to apprehend them before they could kill anyone else.

They had barely gotten off their jet and just moments ago arrived back at headquarters. Despite their weariness, they were in high spirits and glad to be home.

Technical analyst Penelope Garcia immediately jogged up to them, eager to greet her friends. "Hello my lovelies! It's about time you got back! I've been sitting in my domain bored for a few hours with no one to talk to!" She playfully pouted and put her hands on her hips, "Don't you know how wrong it is to keep an amazing goddess such as myself waiting! It's practically illegal!"

The entire group shared a laugh—even Aaron Hotchner managed a smile and a dry chuckle.

Derek Morgan grinned and replied, "Of course, Baby Girl, what were we thinking? But since keeping you waiting is illegal…what's my punishment? Are you going to arrest me?" He cocked his eyebrow suggestively.

Garcia smiled seductively and purred, "Oh yes, my handsome knight. First I'm going to have to frisk your delicious body for any…_weapons_ and then I'm going to cuff you in my home where you shall await my punishment."

Morgan playfully smirked, "So you gonna charge me _now_ or am I gonna be forced to wait?"

"Oh for the love of God! Take it outside you two!" Emily Prentiss quipped between her amused chuckles. Her comments incited similar laughs from everyone else.

"Don't be jealous, Em! Get your own chunk of hotness 'cause this one's taken!" Then Garcia proceeded to link her arm with Morgan's who grinned in response.

Prentiss rolled her eyes as they sparkled with laughter, "As if I _would_ be jealous—you can _have_ Morgan!"

As Morgan shot her a hurt yet good-natured look, Prentiss continued, "Besides, I have Reid as my own…barrel of cuteness! Right, Reid?"

Reid blushed slightly, "Ummm…what?"

The group laughed at his shyness and he smiled lightly.

Then Garcia's eyes lit up, "Oooh that reminds me! You have a letter, boy genius! I found it in your employee mailbox this afternoon!" She dug through her purse and pulled out an envelope, handing it to Reid.

The young profiler looked at it curiously then warily looked back at Garcia, "Were you looking through my mail?"

Garcia teasingly raised an eyebrow, "I know what you're thinking but I wasn't snooping. If I wanted to go through your personal life, I'd use…_other means_ with my infinite powers of technological skills!"

At his startled look, she continued, "But I wouldn't, lucky for you. Anyways, I was hoping that I'd get a response to this letter I wrote to DC comics -they made a typo in one of the Batman comics- so I went to the employee mailbox and found a letter addressed to you! Don't worry—I haven't looked through it since I figured it was personal. You're welcome!"

Reid smiled at her and glimpsed at the letter.

Morgan grinned then stated, "Alright, now I say we all get the hell out of here and grab a couple of drinks!"

"Sounds good to me." Prentiss placed her stuff on her desk and grabbed her jacket. "I could use a buzz tonight."

"I'm in," added JJ enthusiastically, "I'll call Will and see if he wants to join us."

Morgan nodded to her and looked at the rest of his friends, "Well, what about you guys? Hotch? Rossi? Reid?"

Hotchner shook his head to decline, "No thanks. I want to pick up Jack so we can spend some time together this weekend. Maybe next time."

"Alright man, tell Jack we all said hey." Morgan turned to David Rossi, "What about you Rossi? You in?"

The elder man thought for a moment, "Well I have nothing planned for the night so…why not? We could all use a break."

"I say hell yeah to that! What about you, Pretty Boy?" Morgan looked at Reid expectantly, but the young man didn't notice since he was too absorbed in his letter. He stared at the envelope with wide, surprised hazel eyes. _Tobias._

Reid was stunned; Tobias had written back to him. He didn't really expect him to and somewhat accepted that days ago. But holding the envelope in his hand ignited a small flame of anticipation and excitement. Tobias had written back to him! Reid wondered what he had to say…

"Hey Reid…Pretty Boy? You in there?" Morgan waved his hand in front of Reid, finally snapping him out of his stupor.

"Huh? Oh I'm sorry, but no thanks. I'll skip tonight."

Morgan looked disappointed, "Awww c'mon kid, live a little."

Reid shook his head, "I'll pass. Have a nice weekend." With a quick smile, he walked away from his puzzled colleagues and hurried home.

Once he arrived in his apartment, Reid absently tossed his messenger bag to the side and sat down at his desk. Very carefully he opened the envelope and pulled out the letter—it had three pages with light handwriting scribbled on them. Smiling to himself, he eagerly looked at the first page and began to read.

_Dear Spencer,_

_Hello there Spencer. You don't know happy I was when I received your letter. It brought me joy and indefinable happiness. I'm relieved that you still forgive me and that you don't blame me for anything. Thank you for not seeing me as a sinner and I'm delighted that there are no hard feelings between us._

_Even though you say that you're not upset with me for Father's reappearance, I still feel the need to apologize. I'm sorry for Father's behavior. I honestly didn't expect him to barge in like that. Well at least Raphael wasn't with him._

_Anyways, thank you for your letter. It made me smile to know that you're forgiving and open-minded. Just to let you know, I don't feel obligated to write back to you, I want to. I'm touched that you've taken the time to write to me and you seem to care about how I'm doing here._

_Nothing has changed since you visited. Everyone around here is still unnatural and strange. I feel out of place whenever I'm around anyone. I don't have anyone here to talk to other than Father and Raphael. I just don't fit in with anyone. Don't feel bad for me though. I don't really trust anyone around here anyway. There's this one man here who calls himself the 'Slender man'. He's very scary and he has an imaginary friend name Carter that he talks to even if no one's there. He doesn't like me very much. But he doesn't hurt me. He just glares at me and tells me to fear the 'Slender man'._

_Otherwise I keep to myself and I think it's better that way. I find time to myself quite relaxing and I usually read in my spare time. Have you ever read a story called _Crime and Punishment_ before? I'm almost done with it now and I like it. It's very interesting and I can relate to the main character._

_To answer your question on how I'm treated—I'm fine. Some of the guards don't trust me but I don't really blame them. Thankfully, none of them are hostile and some are even nice to me. The food here is okay—better than I would think for a prison. They serve something new every day. Today I had eggs and bacon for breakfast and I hear that they have chicken sandwiches for lunch. Before I came here I've never tried a chicken sandwich. It's delicious._

_I appreciate your concern for me, Spencer. I'm touched that you would be willing to make things comfortable for me. But there's nothing you can really do to change my condition. Everything's somewhat satisfactory and I'm adjusting. Thank you, though._

_I'll trust your judgment on the medicine and I'll make an attempt to get used to it. I may not like what it does to me but I do like how the guards take that moment to remove Father and Raphael for a while. Things are usually peaceful when they're gone._

_I'd like to take this moment to apologize to you, Spencer. Whenever I take the medicine, I think about how much I can't stand it and how I don't want it. I recently thought of you and how you were afraid of the Dilaudid I gave you. My situation is more or less similar to yours and I now understand why you didn't like the Dilaudid. I'm sorry that I gave it to you. I just wanted to help. I never meant for it to hurt you or for you to get addicted. I only wanted to help you with an escape from Father and Raphael. Taking the medicine now has opened my eyes to your discomfort. I'm truly sorry. Please forgive me?_

_I want to thank you for opening up to me about your experience with the Dilaudid. I'm honored that you seem to trust me enough to talk about it with me. Again I'm sorry that it messed with you and your friends. But it's not your fault. I'm sure your friends understand how Dilaudid works and that it wasn't your choice to take it anyway. If you still feel bad about that friend you mentioned, I only suggest that you seek her forgiveness. I doubt she'll deny it and will be grateful for it._

_I remember when I first started taking Dilaudid. I just wanted to get away from life and the drug gave me solace. But then Father forced me to stop taking it and so I started going to Narcotics Anonymous meetings to get clean. I met a really nice man there who became my sponsor. He always encouraged me to run away from Father or to stand up to him. He meant well but he never understood. However, I told him about my life and why I started using. He was really patient and kind to me. I sort of miss him now._

_Anyway, thank you for writing to me and forgiving me. You don't know how powerful your compassion is and how much it inspires me. Your words help with the burden of my sins and they also make me want to become a better Christian. Your strength is very uplifting. I want to be stronger because of you. Thank you so much. I don't deserve your kindness and yet you give it to me anyway. Thank you, thank you. I know God is smiling on you now. Have a pleasant day, Spencer!_

_From, _

_Tobias_

* * *

**Alright, another letter! I wonder how Reid's going to react?**

**FYI: I don't own ****Crime and Punishment****; great book though.**

**I put another insider joke in here. Can you find it? Hint: It's in one of Garcia's comments and it relates to one of my other stories. **

**Congrats to Hinata001 for finding the last one :)**

**So yeah...chapter 7 down! Chapter 8 will be delivered soon! Just sign for it! XD**


	8. The Ties That Bind Us

**Hey there! Chapter 8 is here!**

**I'll be honest with you and I'll admit that I'm not entirely sure about this chapter. I have a couple of insecurities but I'll keep my mouth shut and let you decide if it's okay.**

**BTW: the brilliant Hinata001 once again got the insider joke from the last chapter! Woo hoo! (Audience applauses) Hinata001, take a bow; you deserve it :)**

**But don't think I've forgotten about the rest of you! Thanks to all who read, review, and follow this story! It means alot to me! Thank you! :D**

**Disclaimer: I only own my mistakes and any non-Criminal Minds characters. I also don't own any of the famous books and myths mentioned in this chapter.**

**Warnings: brief indirect references to Season 2 "Revelations", "Distress", and "Jones", mentions of drug abuse**

* * *

Spencer finished reading the letter in seconds. He couldn't help but read it over a few more times despite that his eidetic memory engrained it in his brain permanently. He studied every word and smiled a bit wider with every sentence. He was still in shock over the fact that Tobias had written back to him.

Tobias had actually written back to him.

Reid didn't really expect to receive a response from Tobias since he figured that the older man would be forbidden to by his father or that he'd be too tentative or even afraid to. So he didn't have to say that this was a delightful surprise.

Reid reread the letter for the 21st time and then finally set it down with a content sigh. In his mind he reviewed what Tobias had written. He was glad that Tobias seemed to be doing decently at the institution yet still felt bad that he was alone.

But then again Tobias was right. If Reid were him, he wouldn't want to talk to any of the other inmates there either—not that he has anything against mentally unstable individuals but he'd be unnerved by the fact that they all were put in there for a good reason. So yeah…if Reid was at the institution, he'd keep to himself…especially since one guy -obviously schizophrenic- calls himself the 'Slender man'.

Reid furrowed his brow. The 'Slender man'? Isn't that a myth?

Yes, it is. Supposedly there's an entity prowling around some woods in Germany and that it stalks its victims before it kidnaps and kills them. It mostly focuses on children but apparently the Slender man goes after anyone—especially those who don't believe in his myth. In a way…it sounds like an Unsub.

Reid smiled to himself. Although myths are interesting, they are very juvenile and there are always logical explanations for whatever people think they see whenever they cross the 'Slender man', or Bigfoot, or the Loch Ness, or a UFO…

A small chuckle escaped Reid's lips. _Typical._

He thought of the rest of Tobias's letter and reviewed from beginning to end in his mind. He was happy that Tobias was elated over the fact that Reid had forgiven him—and the young profiler will never take it back for any reason. He never thought himself to be inspiring but was glad that he's motivated Tobias to be stronger.

What else…?

Oh yeah. Reid's read Crime and Punishment before. His mom read it to him once when he was 11 and he read it again himself when he was 13. He found it to be very interesting and the entire novel left him speechless. He enjoyed the author's writing style (despite the rough, sometimes incoherent translation) and he eagerly absorbed the emotional depth and diction.

As for Tobias trying a chicken sandwich…that was somewhat surprising. Maybe his Father didn't let him eat chicken and meat on occasion to show respect to God.

A shiver passed down Reid's spine.

What made Reid stop and thoroughly think though was Tobias's apology regarding the Dilaudid. It was almost as startlingly and astonishing as Tobias's apology for kidnapping and torturing him. Reid didn't really consider the idea of Tobias ever realizing that he had never wanted the Dilaudid; he just assumed that the older man was keen on the idea that he was helping him.

Reid was somewhere between surprised and satisfied that Tobias understands his distress regarding the drug and was content that he had apologized for it…not that Reid fully blamed him for it anyway. He forgave him for any trouble the Dilaudid caused. He knew that Tobias really was just trying to ease his pain rather than getting off on it.

Reid thought for a moment about Tobias's suggestion about apologizing to Prentiss. Although it's been a long time since he had snapped at her, he still feels guilty about what he said but is too ashamed to express his regret. Maybe it's about time he apologized, despite how long it's been…

Next Reid thought about how Tobias briefly shared about his experience with the Dilaudid. The young profiler was flattered that Tobias was comfortable enough to open up to him. Reid only wished that he knew the name of Tobias's sponsor so that he could convince the man to maybe visit Tobias at least once.

Overall, Reid was a jumble of emotions at Tobias's letter. He was overjoyed that the man decided to write back yet was sad that Tobias was still alone in the institution. Reid had secretly hoped that Tobias had at least _someone_ to talk to…other than his father and Raphael.

Reid's thin shoulders slumped. Unfortunately there's nothing he could really do to fix that and that all he could do is to hope for the best for Tobias.

And respond to his letter.

Almost instantly Reid perked up.

Of course.

If Tobias had no one to associate with at the institution, then he'll have someone to relate to outside of the prison. Reid was more than happy to write another letter and give Tobias someone to talk to.

Reid couldn't help but smile wryly at the irony.

He's communicating with the man that had kidnapped, tortured, and nearly killed him. Albeit not directly…but still…_technically_.

And yet it didn't frighten or even bother Reid as it should've.

Tobias is a kind, gentle soul and Reid is progressively growing fond of him.

That thought played through Reid's mind as he happily wrote another letter to Tobias. Once he was finished, he printed out a picture from the internet and placed it with the letter; he sealed them in an envelope and placed it in his apartment's mailbox. He was sure to put the BAU's address and not his own. In case 'Charles' or 'Raphael' happened to grab the letter before Tobias did, Reid would rather they _didn't _know his address.

When Reid gently tucked the letter in the mailbox, he wondered what to do next. Thinking for a moment, he settled to call Morgan and ask him if he and the others were still at a bar. He figured he wouldn't mind joining them. Besides, it'll give him a chance to pull Prentiss aside for a private talk. He has some apologizing to do.

* * *

On that same day, Tobias was sitting in the 'activity center' shuffling a bunch of cards. He mixed them up and then placed them out in a random order on the table in front of him. In all honesty, he wasn't even sure what he was doing with them; he was just bored.

Tobias vaguely recalled some card games that he learned from some friends as a child but all of them required someone to play with.

Tobias sighed to himself. So it's going to be one of _those _days.

He had been shuffling cards for a couple of minutes now and was drifting in and out of his thoughts. It's been days since he has seen Father or Raphael and he wondered where they were taken when they all were separated. Maybe they were locked into another cell or maybe they were placed into solitary confinement. Well wherever they are, Tobias wasn't really concerned. They can handle themselves and Tobias could use the quiet…despite how lonely it can be at times.

Suddenly a figure dropped down onto the seat across from Tobias. He looked up, startled, and realized that the stranger was a fellow inmate, who was currently grinning broadly at him. He's of medium height and weight with thick, dirty blonde hair and deep blue eyes. The man appeared to be Tobias's age, maybe a bit older by a year or so.

Almost instantly Tobias stiffened and was alarmed. _Oh no…not again!_

Okay, maybe it _would_ be better if Father or Raphael were with him at the moment; they could easily handle the other inmates regardless of the violence that usually follows after a confrontation. Tobias nervously assessed the newcomer in front of him and was fearful of what this guy could want.

However, the guy merely smiled at him and said, "Hi there! I'm Benjamin but you can call me Ben if you want! But don't call me Benny, though—I don't like it…Hi!"

Tobias blinked in confusion. _What?_

Oblivious to his puzzlement, Benjamin cheerfully continued, "I don't if you've noticed but I'm new around here! I just moved in yesterday!" He suddenly chuckled to himself, "Heh, _'moved in'_…like if I had a choice! Those people practically dragged me here!" He then took a deep breath as if to steady himself, "But it doesn't matter…I'm here now and there's nothing I can do about it!"

Benjamin's last sentence could've been filled with bitterness, melancholy, or disdain but it wasn't—it withheld optimism, buoyancy, and animation. Tobias was growing increasingly bewildered at this man's behavior. He didn't seem violent or dangerous like everyone else around here. If anything, he appeared…_normal_. A little too upbeat maybe but normal nonetheless.

Still unaware of Tobias's stunned silence, Benjamin kept chattering, "So yeah, it's my first day in prison and I don't know anyone here. The guards told me that everyone has an hour or so of free time but I have no idea what to do. Besides, people around here seem crazy…no offense or anything. And yet the funny thing is that _I'm_ considered crazy too! Imagine that!"

The man smiled brightly at Tobias, still not catching on to his quiet.

Tobias looked at Benjamin and tried to wrap his mind around the situation. Okay…Benjamin seems overly-friendly and non-threatening…so _why_ is he here?

Suddenly Benjamin's smile disappeared and then he looked irritated, "They called me crazy! Those ignorant spineless oafs! They don't _know_ me! They have no right to call me crazy!"

Tobias's breathing became shallow and uneven. _It's like Earl all over again!_

He was close to jumping up from his chair and running but then Benjamin instantly calmed down and smiled sheepishly at him, "Heh, sorry about that. My therapist said that my mood swings are unpredictable and often hazardous. There are moments when I'm happy, moments when I get depressed, moments when I get angry, and I mean _really_ angry…I'm sorry I'm rambling. I'm Benjamin. Ooops, hah I said that already. You must think I'm a weird, spazzy chatterbox. Who are you?"

Tobias stared blankly at Benjamin, unsure of what to say. He seemed amiable yet he's at the institution for a reason. He _had_ to have done _something_ wrong.

After a moment's hesitation, Tobias felt that it would be safer to answer rather than to keep silent, "I…I'm Tobias."

Benjamin smiled brighter, "Hi Tobias! It's nice to meet you! So how long have you been here?"

Tobias was still cautious of Benjamin yet was starting to relax since he hasn't been attacked or hassled in any way. "I think I've been here about…" Tobias thought for a moment, "over a year and three months now."

Benjamin nodded, "Wow, that's a long time. I think I'm going to stay here longer than that. Maybe even my entire life! But in a way I deserve it." He shrugged and maintained that unwavering eager smile.

Tobias's heart leapt a bit. _Well, here it comes. What did he do?_

Seeming completely at ease, Benjamin continued, "Don't think of me as a bad person, Tobias, but I…killed a few people."

Tobias was startled. _And there it is._

However, Benjamin didn't seem uncomfortable or even remorseful for his actions and nonchalantly adds, "Sometimes my temper gets the better of me and I unleashed it on a few people who made me angry. It's their fault really—they shouldn't have antagonized me or else I wouldn't have killed them. Not that my intent _was_ to kill them…but still."

Tobias was speechless. This man's a murderer. He's killed people in what appears to be fits of anger. Tobias was unnerved but figured that the best thing to do was to keep Benjamin calm and to try to not anger him…almost like Father.

Tobias suppressed a shiver. Meanwhile, Benjamin decided to dismiss the subject with a wave of his hand, "But that's all over and done with and I'd rather not talk about it now. I see you have some cards." He pointed to the deck in Tobias's hand. "You wanna play 'speed'? I love 'speed'!" His blue eyes lit up with child-like glee.

Tobias tipped his head sideways in a curious manner. Benjamin sure is strange. He claims to have a violent temper that's killed innocent people and yet he's sociable and upbeat…and happens to like cards. Aside from his homicidal actions, he's almost like a kid in elementary school.

"Ummm…I don't know what 'speed' is."

Within a millisecond, Benjamin's smile was shot down and his eyes dulled and lost its bright light. Tobias was startled to see the other man's sunny personality shatter into a cloudy, dejected expression. It was as if Benjamin's fuel was his sprightly characteristic and he just ran out, leaving only an empty tank of lifeless misery.

Despite that he doesn't really know Benjamin -and the fact that he's killed some people- Tobias didn't want to see him depressed. Not only because it could ignite Benjamin's anger, but because Tobias doesn't like to see anyone in despair.

Wanting to reverse the damage, Tobias hurriedly adds, "But you can show me if you want to…that is you're willing to be patient with me. Uh…how do you play 'speed'?"

Just as quickly as he became sad, Benjamin instantly perked up, "Ooh it's such an easy game once you get the hang of it! I'd love to show you! I can be totally patient! Here, let me teach you how to play! I gotta warn you though I'm awesome at 'speed'. But since you're new at this game, I'll go easy on you!"

* * *

For the next hour, Benjamin taught Tobias how to play 'speed' and the two played until the guards ushered everyone back to their rooms.

"Bye Tobias! It was fun playing 'speed'! I'll see you around!" Benjamin waved good-bye and then jovially scampered off with a guard.

As Tobias was led back to him room, he thought of his game with Benjamin. Believe it or not but he actually enjoyed 'speed'; the game was very fast-paced and energetic—like Benjamin.

No wonder he liked it so much.

Initially Tobias had been wary and hesitant while playing with Benjamin but gradually warmed up to him and he allowed himself to have some fun. Tobias had gotten use to his enthusiasm and his fear of him slowly diminished. Sure, he's still a killer, but Tobias was somehow able to look past that during the game.

When Tobias was taken back to his room, he sat on his bed and leaned against the wall. Benjamin is very interesting. During their game, he had chattered endlessly about how much he loves cards and he asked Tobias a few questions about the institution, actually pausing his rambling to listen to Tobias's answers.

At one point though, Benjamin suddenly became sad again. He was just talking about a friend of his from school and how he had moved away when Benjamin became depressed all over again. Tobias had to change the subject by asking about Benjamin's favorite thing about school. Then he brightened and started talking about how he loved basketball, his friend temporarily forgotten.

However other than Benjamin's occasional mood shifts, Tobias found him alright. He seemed nice and, for the most part, normal…well compared to the other inmates at least. Maybe Tobias has found someone he could talk to.

The corner of Tobias's lips twitched in a small smile. He'll have to wait and see. He shouldn't get excited too quickly but he's hopeful.

Tobias wondered what to do until he remembered Spencer's letter. He quickly grabbed his book from underneath his bed and pulled out the letter. He had hidden it in a novel called Greek Mythology. Although Tobias didn't believe in Greek legends, he found them fascinating. Also, he figured that if either Father or Raphael were to accidentally find the book, they wouldn't have an interest in looking through it.

So Spencer's letter was safe.

Tobias smiled as he reread Spencer's words. He wondered how the young man was doing and if he had already received Tobias's letter. Surely he must have by now. Tobias was just anxious to know if Spencer was planning on writing back. He was sure that he would—he just couldn't wait to get it and see what Spencer has to say.

* * *

**Yeah...so has anyone played 'speed' before?**

**So how do you like Benjamin? I'm sure you're able to figure out his condition but if you're confused or have any questions, then just ask. Just to let you know, I'm not trying to be mean or stereotypical with his character-let me know if it seems that way though.**

**Question: In the next chapter I'm guessing you guys are expecting another letter from Reid. Would you rather have Tobias read the full version or are the letters redundant and you'd rather have Tobias skim over it? Again, full letter or summary of it. Your choice. I could do either. Answer via review or PM. Thank you! :)**

**No insider joke in this chapter :P**


	9. Moving Forward

**Presto! Another update!**

**Sorry that this took a bit longer than the others. School has kept me very busy this week! Homework and presentations should be illegal! So I'm not sure if I'm going to get a break soon or not but be prepared if updates come just a smidge slower than usual :P**

**Anyways...on with the program!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Criminal Minds. If I did, then I'd be rich enough to skip school. I only own any non-Criminal Minds characters but I don't own any famous books or myths mentioned.**

**Warnings: drug references, indirect mentions of season 2 "Revelations", "Distress", and "Jones", and technically some stuff from season 3 (you'll know what it is)**

* * *

Two days passed and Tobias had just returned from lunch with Benjamin. He was currently sitting in his room, waiting for a doctor to give him his medicine.

Lunch was good today. The special was hot dogs with fries. It was delicious.

But the best part was that Tobias wasn't alone. Instead of Father or Raphael for company, Tobias had Benjamin to talk to. Within these past couple of days, neither Father nor Raphael has come back so Tobias was able to hang out with Benjamin.

Although initially wary of Benjamin, Tobias became more comfortable with him and meanwhile Benjamin seemed to have really taken to him as well. The two got along. Tobias's only worries were Benjamin's condition and Father and Raphael's reaction to him.

Tobias had learned that Benjamin's mood swings were random and could occur at any moment, whether or not it was ignited by something like a phrase or a memory. On the night before Benjamin didn't come to dinner so when Tobias asked about him, the guard told him that he had fallen into a state of depression and had to take his medicine.

Then there was earlier. Tobias and Benjamin were just sitting down talking when the 'Slender man' came by and glared at Tobias. Benjamin had gotten angry and viciously snapped at Earl who grew irritated. Thankfully Tobias managed to calm down Benjamin before the situation could escalate—especially since Benjamin had been taking feverish glances at his fork, as if debating to use it as a weapon.

So Tobias knew that hanging out with Benjamin meant adapting to his mood swings. He didn't really mind though; he figured that he could handle them just fine.

It was Father and Raphael that worried him more.

If either of them were to see him talking with Benjamin, they would surely say something to intimidate the other man. And with Tobias's luck, they'd most likely say something that will set off Benjamin's anger. Now Tobias _really_ didn't want that.

The door to his cell opened and then closed again, pulling Tobias from his thoughts. A doctor and two guards came in appearing as cautious as they usually were.

"Hello…Tobias?" The doctor looked at Tobias uncertainly.

Tobias nodded in a way of greeting. The doctor and the others visibly relaxed.

"Alright, it's time for your shot. Hold out your arm, please."

Wordlessly, Tobias did as he was told. He rolled up his sleeve and stretched out his arm to the doctor.

But before the man could inject him, one of the guards said, "Wait, hold on a minute." He dug through his pocket and pulled out an envelope. "This came in for you Tobias. It's from a doctor in Quantico."

Tobias's eyes lit up. _Spencer!_

He eagerly grabbed the letter and placed it under his pillow to read for later. As much as he wants to read it now, he'll have to wait until after his medicine to ensure that Father and Raphael will be gone for a while. Besides, it will give him something to look forward to when he wakes up.

Tobias had a smile on his face as he allowed himself to be sedated by the medication.

* * *

When Tobias awakened, he grabbed Spencer's letter with zeal and made himself comfortable to read it. Within the envelope were three more pages of writing and a picture.

Tobias curiously looked at the picture and saw an image of a tall, thin man wearing a black suit with a red tie. The man had very long arms that reached the floor and he had no face—it was just blank without eyes or a mouth although there was a nose.

It was a bit unnerving.

As Tobias was wondering why on earth Spencer would send him such a creepy picture, he noticed a small note attached to it. He looked at it and it read, _This is what the "real" 'Slender man' looks like in case you're curious._

Tobias smiled a bit. Earl thought that he was _this_ guy; that's bizarre!

Chuckling to himself, Tobias pulled out the letter and started reading it.

_Dear Tobias,_

_You don't know how delightfully surprised I was when I received your letter. I'm glad that you've written back and that you liked my previous letter. I wasn't sure how you'd respond to it and it's really nice to hear from you._

_Thanks for apologizing for your father on his behalf. I wasn't expecting it and I wouldn't have minded if I never got it but it was courteous of you nonetheless._

_I'm happy that you've decided to write back to me because I really do care about your well-being. Like I mentioned before and keep emphasizing I still do forgive you and I don't think of you as a sinner or a weakling or a monster or anything along those lines. I believe that you have a heart, Tobias, and that your conscience makes you a good person._

_I'm flattered that you think I'm strong and I'm gratified that you're using me as inspiration. But you don't really need to—you're strong enough as it whether or not you believe it._

_I'm sorry that nothing's changed for you and I'm sorry that you have no one to relate to. Despite that you said to not worry about you, I can't help but do so. That 'Slender man' guy seems creepy; I know you don't need me to tell you to keep away from him._

_Funny thing about the 'Slender man': he's a myth that originated from the 1800's in Germany and has somehow travelled to America. It's just an eerie ghost story that some people choose to believe in, but it's not real. I find it interesting how the legend has been revived through an online video game that a friend showed me. In the game, you play as a person scouring the woods while the 'Slender man' stalks you. The object of the game is to collect eight pages scattered around in the woods before the 'Slender man' catches you. In short—it's juvenile._

_I'm not sure if you're aware of the story with the 'Slender man' but overall it's just some ghost that hunts you and supposedly takes you away and kills you. But don't believe anything that the guy in the institution tells you, Tobias. He's unwell and that story is a myth. It's not real. If you want to learn more, then I suggest you look it up online if the institution has a computer. If not then I attached a picture of the 'Slender man' in case you wondered what he looked like. Even though he's not real, he still is disturbing. _

_Anyways, to answer your question about _Crime and Punishment_—yes I've read it before a few times. It's a really intriguing novel and I enjoyed it. It's great that you're reading it and I hope you like it as much as I did._

_I'd like to thank you about your advice regarding apologizing to my friend. You're completely right and I'm planning on apologizing like you suggested. Thanks for the encouragement._

_I'd also like to thank you for your apology regarding the Dilaudid. I figured that you weren't injecting me to intentionally hurt me but it's okay—your intentions were genuine. I'm sorry that you had to learn about my dislike of the Dilaudid through your own discomfort of your medication. If you were to make that revelation, I would've wanted you to figure it out on your own rather than being somewhat pressured to. Nevertheless, I'm glad you understand and thanks again for your apology. I forgive you, by the way._

_It was nice of you to briefly write about your own experience with the Dilaudid. I hope you didn't feel obligated to because I sort of shared mine. Either way I appreciate you opening up to me. I know life with your father must've been difficult and in a way I don't blame you for taking Dilaudid. But that doesn't mean that I'm promoting it or anything—I still think it's unhealthy and I'm profusely glad that you're not using it anymore. _

_I'm sorry that I don't know the name of your sponsor but if I did then I'd call him up for you to see if he'd be willing to visit. I'm pretty sure that he would if he knew where you were. From your description, he seems compassionate and kind._

_I hope you're doing well Tobias and I hope that things get better for you. You can write to me anytime you want to and I'll try and answer as quickly as I can. I'd love to hear from you and I like writing back. Please don't ever think that you're bugging because you're not and don't think that writing to me is wrong because it isn't. I'm not sure if your father or Raphael knows of our letters but if they do then I'm sure they don't approve. Nevertheless, don't let them hinder you if you want to write to me. It's perfectly fine._

_Also, if you need anything don't hesitate to ask me; I'll do whatever I can to help you. If you want me to send you some books then let me know. I have a few recommendations that I think you might be interested in or if there's something else that you want to read, then I'll find it and send it to you._

_If you don't want to write back then I understand. I don't want you to feel obligated to nor do I want you to feel uncomfortable writing to me. Just remember that you can write to me anytime and I promise that I will try and write back. Sometimes I'm busy with my job as an agent and there will be times when my team and I will be away on cases. In fact, just recently the BAU and I came back from an investigation in California. Anyhow if you do want to write to me and it takes a while for me to respond, don't worry—it most likely means that I'm on a case. Just give me a few extra days and I will get back to you. I will always write back to any of your letters. Take care Tobias and have a nice day._

_Sincerely,_

_Spencer_

Tobias can't remember the last time he smiled so much. Spencer's second letter was just as endearing as the first one and it made Tobias happy to see that the young man cared about him. He was touched that Spencer took the time to respond to his letter and that he was considerate of Tobias's situation.

Tobias was grateful that Spencer understood him.

He was also appreciative of Spencer's sympathy and how he wanted to help him. Tobias considered taking up on the young man's offer of getting him some books but he didn't want to take advantage so he vowed to only ask if he truly needed to.

Tobias found it interesting that the 'Slender man' was actually a myth. Taking another look at that creepy picture, Tobias couldn't help but chuckle lightly at how Earl seemed so convinced that he was this ghost. He wondered how he'd react if he were to learn that there's an online game on this.

Tobias was also glad that he and Spencer sort of cleared the air regarding the Dilaudid and that the young man had forgiven him. Additionally, he was pleased that Spencer was going to take his advice on apologizing to his friend. He wished the young man luck since nothing is more powerful or rewarding than receiving a well-deserved apology and giving a pardon is return.

After all, he himself knows from experience.

Tobias re-read the letter a few more times before gently tucking it safely with the other one. Then he asked the guard posted outside his cell to please give him some paper, a pencil, an envelope, and a stamp.

Once he had the necessary supplies, Tobias wrote another letter. He made sure to thank Spencer for his letter and he even wrote about Benjamin. When he was done, he gave it to the guard to mail once it was approved of.

When the guard left with his letter, Tobias lied down on his bed with a content sigh. He was glad that Spencer was willing to write back to him because honestly, Tobias loves hearing from him and was secretly hoping that they could still communicate. Knowing that he could still keep in touch with Spencer made Tobias happy.

He closed his eyes for a moment. God seems to be smiling at him for the time being. Tobias now has someone he could talk to inside and outside of the institution.

Things are looking up.

* * *

Meanwhile, Spencer Reid was sitting in the back row of a Narcotics Anonymous meeting around that time. Even though he's been to these countless times, he hasn't been there recently and he was a bit nervous.

As one man was sharing his experience with his addiction to over-the-counter pharmacy pills, Reid was thinking about his conversation with Prentiss the other night.

He had managed to catch up to his friends and hang with them at a bar. He drank a little and (after some convincing from everyone) he danced a little. Reid admittedly had a great time with them. It's not like he doesn't every time he goes out with the team but that time actually got him pumped up.

Before they all left for the night, Reid quietly asked Prentiss if they could go somewhere to talk and she agreed. After finding a small coffee shop nearby, Reid started by asking Prentiss if she remembered his time with Tobias. Once she confirmed that she did, Reid blurted out that after his ordeal, he started taking Dilaudid and was addicted.

Prentiss was stunned but allowed him to continue as he explained that he tried to quit but the effects made him irritable and testy. He could've rambled on about the scientific facts about Dilaudid or of addiction in general if it weren't for Prentiss patiently asking him what he was trying to get at.

Then Reid had taken a deep breath and he apologized for his behavior towards Prentiss. He apologized for snapping at her, for being cross with her, and for being downright cold towards her. Reid knew that she didn't deserve his treatment and yet he directed his anger towards her anyway. He felt that Prentiss should hate him and he tearfully kept apologizing.

However, Prentiss had unexpectedly cut him off after his 5th time repeating his apology by giving him a hug. He was taken aback by her gesture yet returned it after briefly hesitating.

Then Prentiss had looked him in the eye and told him that it wasn't his fault and that she forgave him. She didn't blame him for anything and she understood that it was because of the situation at the time. She told Reid to not worry and to just forget about it.

Seeing the genuine warmth and forgiveness in her eyes, Reid had experienced an epiphany: _this_ was what Tobias felt when Reid had forgiven him. Reid felt that same relief and joy at being forgiven and he loved it. It made him smile to think that he given Tobias this pleasantry.

Afterwards, Prentiss and Reid had talked a bit more. Reid told Prentiss everything that had happened to him with Tobias: how he felt, what was done to him, how Tobias had introduced him to Dilaudid, the intense fear he experienced whenever 'Charles' came or when 'Raphael' played Russian Roulette with him, the pain of the torture, and he even told her about dying.

Reid wasn't sure what compelled him to talk about his kidnapping with Prentiss but he was glad that he did. As he talked, he felt satisfied and light—similar to when he talked to and forgave Tobias when he visited.

Prentiss had listened to him with great patience and when he was done, she genuinely thanked Reid for telling her and assured him that the experience had made him stronger. Then they parted for the evening on good terms, both feeling extraordinarily different.

Now Reid was sitting amongst the support group, reflecting on that conversation. It made him feel good that he was finally able to talk to someone about what had happened to him. He was also immensely relieved and delighted that Prentiss was willing to forgive him for his insolent behavior during his addiction days.

Reid smiled to himself. He's come so far from that fractured man addicted to Dilaudid over a year ago. He's alive and stronger than ever.

And he was going to prove it today.

Once the guy talking about the pills finished his story, the leader of the meeting nodded to him and asked, "Would anyone else like to share their experience or would like to make a comment?"

Everyone in the room was silent, most people fidgeting nervously in their seats. Reid couldn't blame them; when he first started going to these meetings, he was reluctant to share as well. Over time though he slowly came to terms with his addiction and allowed the support group to help him heal.

With a slight amount of hesitation, Reid raised up his hand. When the leader nodded to him, Reid said, "Um, hi, I'm Spencer. I've…been here before."

After a couple of murmured hellos, Reid continued, "I'm here because I was once addicted to Dilaudid. I would use it as a way of escaping when life became too hard. But now I'm clean and I've been so for a while."

Reid paused and nervously licked his lips, "It…wasn't my intention to become addicted but…the situation was complicated at the time and I had no choice. However, I don't have cravings anymore and I can now get on with my life. I'm much better now than I was when I was using—I even forgive the man who got me addicted in the first place."

Everyone in the room applauded him and the leader smiled appreciatively.

"Recently I decided to talk to a friend about it and she listened to me without judgment. It made me feel great once I finally talked to someone about it. I now feel like I can finally move on. And…that's about it I guess."

Reid nervously sat back down as the room loudly clapped for him again.

The leader waited for everyone to calm down before he remarked, "That's amazing, Spencer. Thank you for sharing that with us. It took a lot of courage to tell us that." He then looked to the crowd, "Talking to another person about your problem is very rewarding and forgiveness is one of the first steps to healing. Remember that and soon enough you'll find the strength to let go and fight your addiction until you quit. Trust me when I say it'll take some time but…"

Reid heard no more as he zoned into himself. He felt relaxed and at ease—probably a first since coming to these meetings.

For some reason, he felt like he had to come here—that he had to be here today. He just had to tell someone aloud that he forgave Tobias. Saying it to someone just felt so right. He would've actually admitted it to Prentiss but he knew he couldn't for obvious reasons—she wouldn't understand.

None of the team would understand if he ever told them.

Nevertheless, Reid was for once glad to be at a Narcotics Anonymous meeting.

For once he didn't feel obligated to come.

For once he was more than willing to come.

And for once he actually felt like he made some real emotional progress.

Reid smiled to himself.

Moving on has never felt so wonderfully bliss.

* * *

**Hmmm...it seems that I have used a very interesting word in Reid's letter. Can you guess what it is? ;)**

**I hope I did okay with this chapter! It's been bugging me forever that Reid and Prentiss never really made up in season 2! I thought it would be good to add in that things were cool between them :)**

**Hopefully I can get chapter 10 up soon! Thanks to all of you who are reading this! You're the best! :D**


	10. Symbols of Trust

**Hello people of Fanfiction! What's up?!**

**Sorry for the short delay. I actually had this chapter written up already but then I noticed that the transition between it and the last chapter was pretty awkward. It bugged me so I rewrote it. I think it's a bit better :)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Criminal Minds nor any of the recognizable stuff mentioned. I only own the story plot and any non-Criminal Minds characters**

**Warnings: ...I don't really know. ****_Maybe_**** technical, indirect spoilers to Season 2? I'm not sure :/**

* * *

Three days later and Tobias was found in the 'activity center' with Benjamin. Since there was strictly no physical activity or 'rough-housing' of any sort, they and the other inmates were confined to doing 'quiet' activities.

Tobias decided to read a book while Benjamin was content with drawing. As it turns out, he was a great artist. Often times Tobias found himself distracted from his book as he watched with awe as Benjamin sketched a realistic-looking forest, then a medieval castle, and lastly a huge, beastly dragon that hovered over the castle and forest.

Needless to say, Tobias was beyond impressed with Benjamin's skill and imagination.

Currently Benjamin was drawing something new but he had it hidden from Tobias, claiming that he didn't want him to see it until it was finished. Respecting his wish, Tobias kept his curious brown eyes from wandering to the sketch.

After a moment of comfortable silence that was only filled with the light scratching of pencil on paper and the occasion flip of a page from Tobias's book, Benjamin momentarily stopped his drawing, turned to Tobias and asked, "What book are you reading Tobias?"

Tobias looked up and glanced at the title of the book, "It's a collection of poems and short stories from a man named Edgar Allan Poe. Why? Do you want to look at it?"

Benjamin shook his head, "No thanks. I just thought I recognized the name. If I remember correctly from school, he wrote some dark stuff. But I'm not really sure since I never paid much attention in school." Benjamin smiled with slight embarrassment yet at the same time didn't seem too concerned, "My teachers would always yell at me for daydreaming in class and they always said that I had a short attention span. But it's their fault for being so boring with their lessons! I mean it wouldn't kill them to make learning more fun! If they did, then maybe I might've actually learned something!"

The flush of excitement and passion in Benjamin's voice at first overwhelmed Tobias but he gradually relaxed once he recognized that Benjamin wasn't angry. Within these couple of days, he's noted that Benjamin can often get caught up in his enthusiastic animation and would often start speaking rapidly once he did.

Tobias lightly grinned as he commented, "Yeah I suppose I know how you feel. I never focused much in school either." _Because it was difficult enough dealing with Father as it was without having schoolwork to overwhelm me._

But Tobias kept that to himself.

Benjamin chuckled, "Hah! Awesome! I'm not the only one! You know what I use to do in class when I was bored? I would either fall asleep, daydream, or I'd draw. I love drawing! I've liked it since I was little! I drew doodles in class every day or I'd sometimes take days at a time to complete a sketch! You know now that I think about it, I think art class was the only class I actually liked other than P.E. Except sometimes even the art teacher would get annoyed with me whenever I didn't follow the theme we were supposed to sketch. But I believe that art should be expressed freely rather than be restricted! I mean c'mon it's art! We should have the freedom to be as creative as we want without being ordered to draw what others want from us! Don't you think so?!"

Tobias was momentarily stunned from Benjamin's short yet impassioned speech, but he regained himself and responded, "Uh, I don't know, I guess so. Honestly Benjamin, I can't draw very well so I can't really relate to an artist's point of view. But it should be so if you feel that way. Besides, it seems to work well for you if you're able to draw such amazing pictures." Then he indicated the sketch of the castle, the forest, and the dragon.

Benjamin beamed appreciatively, "You think so?! Thanks! I know that I can draw decently but I never considered myself amazing! Thanks for the compliment Tobias!"

Tobias smiled lightly, "No problem. I only speak the truth."

Benjamin grinned and then lapsed into a thoughtful reverie. For a moment, Tobias was afraid that he might've said something wrong but then Benjamin commented reflectively, "You know what's weird: you know that I like to draw but I don't know what you like to do other than read. What else do you like to do for fun, Tobias? Do you have any hobbies? Can you write, paint, sing, dance, play an instrument, do magic tricks, do origami…Oh I love origami! It's so much fun cutting out pieces of paper and folding them into cool shapes! I can do all kinds of things but I'm really good at making flowers and Shurikens! Even though making origami flowers are kind of girly, I used to make them _for_ girls! If I ever liked a girl in school, I'd leave an origami flower on her desk! I think girls like that romantic stuff but the funny thing is that I never told them that I made them! I was too shy to say anything! Imagine that!"

Benjamin stared off into space for a moment, grinning broadly at presumably fond memories. Tobias couldn't help but chuckle lightly.

_Man, he sure can talk fast! How did he even start talking about origami again?_

After a brief moment, Benjamin blinked back into awareness and then looked embarrassed, "Heh…sorry about that. I guess my teachers were right—I _do_ have a short attention span. But I can't help it—origami is so much fun! Too bad they won't let us use scissors here or else I'd make a couple of things to show you. Huh…I guess I can make a Shuriken without scissors if I can tear apart the paper without ripping it. Yeah I think I can do that…"

Benjamin actually shook his head to keep himself focused, "Damn! I almost did it again! My bad! So what did I say in the first place? …Oh yeah, do you have any hobbies, Tobias?"

Tobias chuckled again, "To tell the truth, I don't have any. I mostly just read or go on the computer in my spare time. Well at least I used to go on the computer. I don't think I'm allowed to here."

_Not that I really blame since they're probably afraid that I'd start spying on people again or hack into their security system or something._

Tobias unconsciously stiffened at that thought but mentally urged himself to not think about it too much. He knew that if he did then he'd be forced into a swirling oblivion of guilt and remorse combined with painful memories.

Instead he kept his attention on Benjamin who appeared incredulous, "Really? That's it?! I mean not to sound like a jerk but you don't have any hobbies?! Everyone has hobbies! To me you look like a computer whiz of some sort, now that you mention it."

_You have no idea._

"But I think you also look like a writer." Benjamin lit up at the idea, "Yeah! You look like you could write some really good books! I'm not sure what you'd write about but I know it'd be awesome! Oooh!" Tobias jumped slightly when Benjamin unexpectedly slapped the table with zeal, "You know what else would be awesome?! What if we wrote a book together?! That would be beyond awesome! It would be epic! It would be epicly awesome! Just imagine: you would write it while I drew its pictures! We could write a children's book or a chapter book! Wouldn't that be great?!"

Tobias bit his lower lip, "It would be pretty cool, Benjamin but I can't write really well. I was never really good in English class." Tobias really hoped that his statement wouldn't upset Benjamin but in all honesty, he can't write. Even when he wrote to Spencer, he felt that his sentences were choppy and simplistic.

Though it _would_ be neat to construct a picture book of some sort, it wouldn't come out very well if Tobias wrote it even _with_ Benjamin's amazing sketches. He's just not very crafted when it comes to writing.

_Or anything else creative really_—Tobias sees himself more as logical, a left-brained type, rather than someone gifted in the arts.

But to his surprise and relief, Benjamin was undeterred, "Oh please! You probably write really well but are too modest to admit it! You are way too humble, Tobias! Give yourself some credit! I'll bet you're really good at writing but you don't even know it! And you'll never know until you try!"

Tobias smiled softly at Benjamin and replied, "Thanks for the encouragement, Ben. Maybe I will try it sometime. Who knows, you could be right."

Benjamin grinned, "I most likely am right! I'm all-knowing with these kinds of things!" Then he burst into a fit of giggles, "I wish!"

Tobias found himself chuckling as well. He can't remember the last time he felt at ease enough to laugh at all, let alone so much.

_I suppose Benjamin just brings out the lighter, easygoing side of me._

But before either of them could continue the conversation, a guard walked up to them and said, "Benjamin Richardson, it's time for your weekly therapist appointment. Come along now." He gestured for Ben to follow him.

The older man pouted, "Awww do I have to go?! I hate therapy! It makes me feel like I'm crazy."

The guard raised an eyebrow, "In some ways you are. Now let's go."

Tobias found himself slightly irritated as the officer's comment made Benjamin's quirky smile disintegrate into a depressed frown. But Benjamin didn't say anything as he got up and allowed himself to be escorted by the guard.

However before he reached the door, he seemed to remember something because he suddenly rushed back over to the table, to the guard's alarm.

Slightly startled by Ben's return, Tobias looked surprised in contrast to Benjamin's unexpected excited grin, "Oh before I forget! You can keep my sketches, Tobias! I want you to have them! I think you'll like them! I'll see you later!" Then with a wave he hurried back to the guard who looked befuddled and wary simultaneously.

Tobias watched until they left before turning his attention onto the drawings. The picture of the castle, the dragon, and the forest was really amazing and Tobias was thrilled that he was able to keep it.

Then the other sketch caught his eye, the one that Benjamin insisted that Tobias shouldn't look at until it was finished. Seeing that there wasn't any harm in looking at it now that it's his, Tobias picked it up and glanced at it. At first he was surprised and puzzled but then a small smile touched his lips.

It was a sketching of him.

Benjamin drew a picture of Tobias reading that Edgar Allan Poe book: it showed Tobias thoughtfully reading the book, completely unaware of Benjamin. Tobias grinned with amusement at how absorbed he seemed in that book, how his eyes seemed riveted by the shadowy, macabre writing style of Poe. He noticed a faraway sadness within his eyes and somehow Benjamin drew it so accurately.

_Do I always seem so pensive?_

Nevertheless, Tobias was impressed—Benjamin did a brilliant job.

Tobias will have to thank him the next time he sees him.

* * *

On that same day, Spencer Reid happened to be taking a break at the BAU. Though it was a slow day, he was a good mood. He can't really place the root of the feeling but he didn't question it—he just enjoyed it.

Without a case to work on, all the team had to do was some paperwork. After looking over some case files for exactly 3 hours 46 minutes and 23 seconds straight, Reid figured it would the perfect time to take a break and have some coffee.

Pushing himself from his desk, Reid grabbed his empty cup and made his way over to the employee lounge. Once he refilled his cup and added tons of sugar, Reid took a sip of the blissful hot beverage and started to make his way back to his desk. On his way he ran into Prentiss who was looking over a couple of envelopes.

"Hey Prentiss!"

The dark-haired woman smiled at him, "Hey Reid! Taking another coffee break, I see. How many cups has that been today? 20? 30?"

Prentiss chuckled at his playful scowl, "No. This is only my fourth cup for your information."

Prentiss looked incredulous, "Only four? Wow that must be a new record for you: only four cups within a couple of hours. Are you sure you're Dr. Spencer Reid and not some clone?"

Reid chuckled lightly at her sarcasm, "I can assure you that I'm really me. Actually, on average I have about 7-8 cups of coffee a day, not including the ones that I have outside of the BAU so that typically ranges about a cup every 1.45 hours or so."

Prentiss looked at him with disbelief before chuckling and responding, "I rest my case: you drink way too much coffee."

Reid was about to point out that she never said anything about him drinking too much coffee but held his tongue. Instead he changed the subject, "So uh, the mail's here already?" He gestured to the envelopes in her hand.

Prentiss smiled knowingly at her friend's attempt to divert the conversation, "Yeah, I guess the mailperson was able to come early today. That's cool and everything but it kind of sucks that I have bills instead of letters."

Letters…

Almost instantly Reid subconsciously perked up and casually inquired, "Say Prentiss, while you were at the employee mailbox, did you happen to see if I got anything?"

Prentiss thought for a moment and mused, "Ummm…I'm not really sure, I don't remember. Hmmm…actually…yeah I think you did. I think I saw a couple of letters. Why? Are you expecting something?"

"Sort of. I'll go check right now. See you Emily! And thanks!" Prentiss was a bit surprised by Reid's haste and being called by her first name but she smiled as the young agent began to fast-walk to the employee mailbox.

Once Reid arrived, he set down his coffee, grabbed his mail, and looked through it. It's been a couple of days so he figured that it was highly possible for Tobias to have written back by now. Eager yet prepared in case he was disappointed, Reid hurriedly looked over his mail.

And found what he was looking for.

Reid grinned as he found a new letter addressed to him from Georgia.

He put back the rest of the mail, opened up the letter, re-grabbed his coffee, and began to read.

_Dear Spencer,_

_I'm so glad that you've written back! I can honestly say that it was a nice surprise! Although you say that hearing back from me was delightful, it's not nearly as delightful as receiving those other letters from you!_

_It's nice to hear that you care for my well-being, Spencer, but do know that things are decent for me. Things have even gotten somewhat better. Of course I still have my father and Raphael to deal with but it's not as bad as before with all the guards around willing to control them. And of course they still separate us whenever they've given one of us medication. In fact, as I'm writing this today, it will be almost a week since I've seen either one of them. It's been pretty peaceful._

_It warms my heart that you forgive me after everything. You don't know how happy it makes me for you to say that I'm not a monster and that you think of me as a good person. I may not entirely agree with what you said about me being strong but it's still very kind of you to say so._

_Your story about the 'Slender man' is very intriguing. That photo you sent me is very creepy but at the same time it makes me laugh to know that the guy I told you about, Earl, thinks himself as this ghost. If you knew what Earl looked like, then you'd see why. Also, from what I can tell from the picture, the 'Slender man' apparently doesn't have a mouth and yet Earl talks with a Southern accent. The real 'Slender man' can't speak, right? Can he? I don't know. I don't even know if ghosts exist! I'm glad the 'Slender man' isn't real though. Earl once said that the 'Slender man' kills children! What sick person kills children?! They're too pure for such evil!_

_That online game you mentioned sounds somewhat interesting yet juvenile like you said. I understand the concept of running from the 'Slender man' but why do you need to collect pages? If I could, then I'd check it out for myself on one of the institution's computers but I can't. I think I'm banned for life from the computer. I don't really blame them though. It's their right and I don't really mind._

_I just finished reading _Crime and Punishment_. It was very good and I enjoyed it. Right now I'm currently reading a collection of poems from Edgar Allan Poe. Have you ever heard of him? I just thought the book looked interesting and I'm so far stunned by how dark it is. Nevertheless I like it. Edgar Allan Poe has a way with words and he knows how to build up the suspense._

_I'm glad that you've decided to apologize to your friend. Have you done it already or are you waiting for the proper moment? No matter what I wish you good luck. I doubt your friend will deny your apology and will appreciate your gesture. I know that it will all work out in the end._

_You don't need to thank me about the apology regarding the Dilaudid. I'm glad to express my remorse since I've wronged you. Again, I'm really sorry. I didn't mean any harm. Thanks for forgiving me and thanks for understanding my intentions._

_You also don't need to apologize for my epiphany. I'm just glad that I now understand why you didn't like the Dilaudid even if I had to learn it through my own medication. Frankly, I don't mind it so much anymore. After all, it helps me and it gives me some peace from Father and Raphael. _

_Just to let you know, I didn't feel obligated to tell you about my experience with the Dilaudid, I wanted to. I'm not sure why but I feel comfortable enough with you to tell you a bit about it. I guess it's because you understand what I went through and how I felt. Again, I'm sorry for that. In a way I'm glad I'm not taking it anymore either. You're right, it's not healthy. _

_It's kind of you to want to convince my sponsor to come and see me but it's not necessary. I wouldn't really know what to talk to him about and I wouldn't want to bother him either. Besides, I only know his first name and not his last name. Thanks for your consideration though. I appreciate the thought._

_I have news, Spencer. I'm not sure if it's good or bad but I feel that it's good. I sort of met someone I can relate to. A couple of days ago, someone new came into the institution and we've been hanging out. His name is Benjamin. He's very interesting. He's very talkative and fun and he gets excited real easily. He's often in a really good mood and he's almost always smiling._

_Benjamin started talking to me on his first day and we've been hanging out since. So far, I like him. I'm still getting use to him but he's really nice. But there is something that worries me a bit. Benjamin has claimed to have killed a few people out of anger and he told me that he has random mood swings. And he's not lying either. I've seen them for myself. He can get sad, angry, or happy really quickly and I often don't know what causes it. He even almost got into a fight with Earl because he was giving me the evil eye. If I hang out with Benjamin, then I have to be careful with his mood swings. But most of the time Benjamin is cheerful. I think he takes medication to help._

_I don't really consider Benjamin my friend yet because we still don't know each other very well and I don't know what he thinks of me. I assume that he's okay with me since he seems to like hanging out with me but I don't know. Also, he hasn't met Father or Raphael yet nor have I told him about them. But I'm sure that once he does meet them that he won't want to talk to me again. Do you think there's a chance that my father or the archangel will like him? I doubt it. It's hard to please them._

_But I guess we'll see what happens. Thank you for writing to me Spencer. Your letters are very uplifting and they make my day. It's nice to hear from you and I'm glad that I'm not a bother. I understand that your job is very demanding so I don't want you to feel obligated to have to write back to me. As far as I know, neither Father nor Raphael knows about the letters. If they ever find out then I know they won't approve but it shouldn't really matter since writing to you isn't wrong._

_It's generous of you to be willing to send me some books but I think I'll be fine. The institution has surprisingly a lot of interesting books to choose from. I would like some recommendations though. Do you know any good novels or authors? If you do then I'd like to know since the institution most likely has it._

_Thanks again for writing to me and for checking up on me Spencer. I'm touched by your compassion and it's a delight hearing from you. Don't worry about me. I'm doing okay and I have a feeling that things might get a bit better in time._

_Have a wonderful day Spencer! And thank you!_

_From,_

_Tobias_

"Damn Prentiss wasn't kidding: you _were_ eager to look at your mail."

Reid jumped slightly and spun around as he heard Morgan's deep, smooth voice behind him.

"M-Morgan!" Reid immediately hid the letter behind him and attempted to not look so startled, "How…how long have you been standing there?!"

Morgan chuckled at Reid's jumpiness. "Not too long. Prentiss seemed amused when she came back to her desk and when JJ, Garcia, and I asked her what was up, she told us that you seemed anxious to get to your mail. I couldn't resist checking up on you since we all figured that maybe you were waiting for a package from a special lady friend. So whatcha got there, Pretty Boy? A love letter?" Morgan attempted to look behind Reid to catch a glimpse of the letter, interest gleaming in his dark brown eyes, but Reid instinctively clutched the letter tighter.

"No," he denied, "it's not anything from a girl and it's none of your business anyway."

"Why not?" Morgan raised an eyebrow with intrigue.

"Because like I said it's none of your business. Besides it's…" Reid struggled for a proper, non-alarming excuse, "sort of private. You know…family stuff."

Immediately Morgan's playful, curious smile turned serious, "Oh, is everything alright?"

Instantly Reid nodded, "Uh yeah everything's fine. Nothing's wrong."

"Are you sure? Is everything okay with your mom?"

"Y-yeah she's fine. She's…you know, the same as usual. But I always like hearing what she has to say." Then Reid lifted up the letter slightly as an indication.

Reid hated lying to his best friend but he knew that Morgan wouldn't understand if he admited that the letter was from Tobias. He could just see him growing outraged and protective and of course he'll tell Hotch and the others. Then who knows what could happen after. The entire team would be…appalled and even angry or disappointed in him.

They just wouldn't understand.

Morgan didn't seem entirely convinced because he looked at Reid thoughtfully for a moment before saying, "You know that you can tell me anything, right Reid?"

The young man was slightly taken aback by the inquiry, "Of course I know that. Why wouldn't I?"

"Well…I just don't want you to feel that you should keep anything from me or anyone else. No matter what, you can talk to me about anything and I won't judge you. If you've got something on your mind then I wouldn't want you to hold back—I'll be all ears if you need me to be. And you don't even have to talk to me—you can talk to Hotch or JJ or anyone. We're all here for you Reid…don't ever forget that."

For a moment Reid was speechless. Once he regained his voice, he responded, "I won't."

Morgan smiled warmly, "Good. Now speaking of the group, I think we better head back. It's almost lunchtime and Garcia's talking about this new Tai Food restaurant that she wants us all to try. She suggested that we should head out today and knowing her, we're going."

Reid chuckled, "Alright, let's go." Putting his letter back in the envelope, Reid held it securely as he and Morgan made their way back to their desks.

"You know kid, since we're going to have Tai food, we're most likely going to use chopsticks." Morgan cocked his eyebrow in amusement, "So should I ask the waiter to give you a fork before or after you attempt to use them?"

Reid playfully rolled his eyes and dryly retorted, "Ha, ha very funny. But I think I can manage on my own, thank you. Besides it's not like I'm the only one in this world who can't use chopsticks. I'm sure that if you take a survey that 1 out of every 3 or 4 people will be unable to. Especially since the technique of employing chopsticks is a complicated task that requires careful hand position and several minutes worth of steady practice which-"

"Whoa ease up, Pretty Boy, you've made your point," Morgan held up his hands in mock surrender as he grinned good-naturedly, "save that fire for when you need it…like for when you're on a date or something."

Reid just shook his head, "Oh please Morgan."

Morgan just chuckled and gave Reid a one-armed, shoulder hug before ruffling his hair. Reid just smiled and allowed Morgan to lead him back into the bullpen.

Having a friend like him was remarkable and extraordinary as well as a bit frustrating and even somewhat astounding.

But more of the former two, really.

After all, Reid will never get tired of having the support and affection of his best friend and surrogate brother.

* * *

**Who agrees with me that Morgan and Reid have the cutest brotherly relationship ever?! :D**

**Just to let you know, all of Reid's 'facts' and 'calculations' weren't real...I made them up. But I'm pretty sure you guys guessed that on your own.**

**Also, that guard's comment wasn't mine. Just saying...**

**Okay...that's it for now. Trust me when I say that things will get a bit more...interesting in the next chapter ;)**

**Till next time! **


	11. Now or Never

**Woo hoo! Winter break at last! I'm finally free from that prison they call school...well at least for two weeks! :)**

**Alright first of all, a huge, ginormous thanks for all the love you guys give me! Whether you're reading, reviewing, or following my story, I appreciate the support! Your comments and overall interest mean alot to me! :D**

**Disclaimer: Criminal Minds isn't mine...only any non-Criminal Minds characters and the story plot.**

**Warnings: some language, references to violence, spoilers to season 2 "The Big Game" and "Revelations"**

* * *

Two days later and Tobias was playing basketball with Benjamin outside in the institution courtyard. They were merely casually shooting hoops and trying to make the ball into the basket.

It was a really good day so far—earlier and the other day they had been working on that book that Benjamin suggested and they were doing pretty well so far. Whether or not Tobias saw himself as a decent writer, even he had to admit that it was fun to write while Benjamin sketched the necessary pictures.

They made a great team.

Also, Tobias had a chance to thank Benjamin for the sketches of both the kingdom and the one of him. Ben had been delighted when Tobias expressed his awe and gratitude.

It was nice to see the other man so thrilled.

And to add to it all, Tobias hasn't seen Father or Raphael for nearly a week. He's been dreading their return but was slowly able to relax as it appeared that he'll be left in peace a bit longer.

Tobias was really grateful for the quiet and ease and especially his luck.

Anyways, it was currently Benjamin's turn to shoot the basketball. He eyed the basket with sharp focus, as if calculating the chances of making the shot. Then he grinned to himself and threw the ball in the air. It flew for a moment before hitting the rim and bouncing off the basket.

Tobias prepared himself in case Benjamin got depressed or upset but thankfully he didn't. The older man just smiled, shrugged, and commented, "Oops, I must be losing my touch. Oh well! Your turn Tobias!"

Benjamin scampered off to retrieve the ball before tossing it to Tobias. Tobias grinned and attempted to make the shot. The ball fell a few feet short and swooshed past the net of the basket and hit the wall behind it.

"Oh…so close!" Benjamin grabbed the ball and began dribbling it in place, "It seems like the basket doesn't like us! You wanna take a break?"

"Sure, okay."

Tobias followed Benjamin and the two sat down on an empty bench. The courtyard was bustling with inmates running around playing games or just talking to others (or themselves). The guards kept a wary eye on everyone, especially if some of the prisoners were interacting with one another.

Tobias and Benjamin sat in comfortable silence for a moment, just watching the other inmates until Benjamin commented, "Isn't it funny how everyone here is so…weird? I mean I see people talking to themselves or they're twitching all crazy-like. There's literally something wrong with everyone here…no offense to them or anything. Yet sometimes I think we're the only normal ones in this place."

Tobias nodded thoughtfully, "I suppose so."

"Well…I mean _I'm_ not really normal—I'm considered unstable because I killed those people for 'no justifiable reason'." He made air quotes when he said that. "But it's not my fault that I have…what's it called again…mixed bipolar disorder…yeah that's it. I can't help myself. It's not like I can control my emotions—they just…happen."

_Yeah they do. And I've seen most of it. _

Tobias looked sympathetically at Benjamin. He wished that he could somehow help him.

Suddenly Benjamin's shoulders slumped and he appeared dejected. Tobias was alarmed as the man asked in a sad voice, "You don't hate me for it, do you Tobias? Do you think I'm a freak?"

Tobias was taken aback. _What?! No I don't! You said so yourself that you can't control it._

He was just about to form his thoughts into words when Benjamin released a depressed sigh. "You do, don't you? You hate me because I'm a freak…a monster. You're probably only hanging out with me because you feel sorry for me."

As Benjamin began to sink into himself, Tobias hurriedly tried to think of a way to pull him out, "No! I don't hate you Ben! Honest! I don't think you're a freak or a monster! If I did, then I wouldn't be sitting with you right now! I like hanging out with you!"

Benjamin looked at him with teary, doubtful eyes, "You're just saying that. You just feel sorry for me and you're too nice to call me crazy. I am though. I _am_ crazy. I mean what kind of normal person has weird mood swings? I'm a demented son of a bitch…just like those guards say. I'm worthless." He curled into himself and hugged his knees tightly to his chest.

Tobias wasn't sure what to do. He's seen Benjamin depressed before but never to this degree. Obviously reassuring words won't do it today.

But what else can he do?

Feeling slightly defeated, Tobias looked to the ground and quietly muttered, "I'm not all that nice you know. You forget that I'm here for a reason too."

Tobias didn't realize that he had spoken this aloud until Benjamin looked at him in alarm, releasing a bit of tension from his body. "What?"

Deciding that it was probably best to continue, Tobias said, "I've done some bad things that landed me here…and a few others too. I…took part in murder."

Benjamin's eyes widened as he became intrigued, his depression momentarily forgotten. "You did? How? When? What other people? You've never told me about how you wound up here! What happened?"

Tobias took a deep breath. It was now or never—he might as well tell him. And whatever happens afterwards…

"I had a job where I would give computer assistance from my home. If someone called me, I could easily enter their computer system and fix the problem without needing to leave my house. I could hack into their system, look at their files, and activate their computer camera at any time even if I wasn't helping them. My father and an archangel named Raphael decided to take advantage of that.

"They convinced me to spy on people with their laptops to catch them when they committed sins. I didn't want to but they made me. We would do it every day and once someone did something wrong…we killed them.

He paused for a moment when Benjamin released a small, low gasp, "Well actually I…took no part in the murders but my father and Raphael would kill them in horrible ways. They kidnapped an adulteress once and they had her ripped apart by some dogs we had. It was awful to watch…_so_ awful."

Tobias shuddered but continued, "And the worst part was that with each murder, Father and Raphael would make sure that they were recorded from the sinner's laptop and they would have me post it on the Internet afterwards even though I wanted no part of their…plans. Their goal was to send a message about following God but no one listened; people thought the online videos were fake and they enjoyed them."

Tobias pressed his lips together before he softly adds, "There were so many comments on how 'cool' it was when in reality it was just wrong. I mean there were people who got their throats slit and flesh was torn apart! Who on earth would find _that_ entertaining? It was just…sick."

Silence befell the two. Everyone else in the courtyard was bounding with energy while Tobias and Benjamin sat still, the latter absorbing what he had just been told.

Tobias began to grow nervous. Maybe it was a bad idea to tell Ben about what he's done. What could the man be thinking of him now?

"Whoa…" Tobias was slightly surprised when Benjamin spoke up in awe, "What your father and Raphael did was hard core. But…you said you took no part in those murders, right?"

When Tobias nodded in confirmation, Benjamin continued, "So…you're here just because you're considered a stalker and an accessory to murder?"

Tobias thought for a moment. _I never really thought of it that way but I guess so. _"Yeah…"

Benjamin looked amazed and incredulous, "But that's not fair! If you didn't kill those people then you shouldn't be here! Only your father and that Raphael guy should pay for what they've done—not you!"

Before Benjamin could get himself passionately worked up, he stopped and grew anxious when he realized something, "Oh wait a minute! If you're here, then so is your father and Raphael!"

He looked at Tobias expectantly and took the startled look in his eyes as a 'yes', "Oh damn, they are! Have I met them before?! Are they around here somewhere?!" His blue eyes quickly scanned the courtyard to find some indication of Father or of Raphael.

_Lucky for us they don't seem to be in sight…nor have they been around for about a week._

"Well, um," Benjamin's eyes darted to Tobias when he started speaking, "yes…they are here. I don't think they're outside right now but they're here. You haven't met them before, though."

_And thank goodness you haven't._

Benjamin started growing excited, "So if they're not here…where are they now?"

Tobias shrugged, "I don't know. Maybe they're in solitary confinement. We all share a room but sometimes the guards take them away and I'm left alone. This usually happens around the time they give me my medicine for the day."

Benjamin furrowed his brow, "Really? That's a weird situation. What's your dad like? What's Raphael like? Is he really an archangel? If Raphael is an archangel, does he have powers given to him by God? How does he know you and your father?" He leaned forward eagerly with each rapid-fire question.

Contemplating for a moment, Tobias responded, "My father is…vicious. He gets angry easily and he's violent. He…used to beat me and still does when he can. He always preaches to me about our faith in God and he makes sure that I don't sin and that I follow the Bible. If I don't, then he beats me. One time he even burned a cross into my forehead when I was a boy."

To prove that he wasn't lying, Tobias brushed some of his bangs out of his face, revealing the scar. He purposely grew out his bangs so that no one could ever see it—no one would ever see the evidence of his shame.

And yet ironically he was showing it to Benjamin.

But he didn't mind—he had a feeling that Ben wouldn't judge.

His friend took a sharp intake of breath when he saw it but otherwise said nothing.

Tobias re-covered his horrid mark and continued, "As for Raphael…he really is an archangel. He was sent down to earth by God in order to help redeem us mortals from sin. For some reason, he chose me and father to help him cleanse the sinners of the world. His intentions are -in their own ways- good, but his way of cleansing is…wrong. Raphael was usually the one who committed the murders.

"The archangel is…calm. Nothing ever bothers him and he never shows anger, sadness, happiness…anything. He's never ever appeared guilty whenever he killed. He just…feels nothing. It's kind of unnerving."

Tobias paused for a moment to think, "I'm not sure if he has special powers. If he does, then he's never shown them to me before. But he knows a lot. He seems to know whether or not you're a sinner and he always knows what to do to redeem yourself. Raphael is very mysterious with his methods and he has an odd way of deciding your fate. He and my father are a powerful team when it comes to killing sinners. They were pretty much unstoppable until they were caught."

Benjamin took in Tobias's information before speaking, "Again…whoa. Both your father and Raphael sound like intense characters. I don't even know them and I'm already freaked out by them…no offense or anything since one of them is your dad. How could you stand living with either one of them?"

"It was hard," Tobias admitted, "trying to deal with both my father's beatings and Raphael's strict teaching was difficult. In a way, I'm glad that I'm here since I now have more time to myself and they don't bother me as much as they use to."

Benjamin nodded thoughtfully, "In a way I guess you're right."

He paused for a moment before continuing, "I'm glad you're here too. If you weren't then I wouldn't have anyone to talk to. It sucks that we met each other in such a horrible place under horrible circumstances but still…it's kind of worth it. I like that we're friends." He then gave Tobias a small, tentative smile.

Tobias was momentarily silent, completely unprepared for Benjamin's sentiment.

Benjamin liked him and considered him a friend.

He assumed that Benjamin liked him -why else would he hang out with him- but he didn't think that Benjamin really thought of him as a friend.

An acquaintance maybe but not a friend.

It's been a long time since Tobias has had any friends. When he was younger he isolated himself in school because he was afraid of getting close to anyone. He feared that once he grew attached to someone, they would leave him.

Like how his mom had.

And of course Tobias felt like he couldn't relate to anyone in his age group. None of the kids were as religiously active as he was nor did any of them understand what he went through with his father. Tobias was afraid of being judged by his peers so he chose to keep to himself, to alienate himself.

But Benjamin doesn't judge him. In some ways, he can even understand Tobias.

_Benjamin and I are friends._

As that thought dawned on him, Tobias returned Benjamin's smile, "I like it too Ben, I really do. I'm happy that we're friends."

Once Tobias said that, Benjamin's smile grew as his eyes brightened, "Really? You mean it?"

Tobias only had to nod once and it made Benjamin happier. He then unexpectedly gave Tobias a quick hug then pulled away. "This is one of the best days of my life! I know I tend to over-exaggerate but I'm not this time! I thought that I would be an outcast once I started coming here but I'm not! I have a friend and you're a really good one, Tobias! You really are! I couldn't have asked for a better person to stay in prison with me!"

Benjamin's eyes briefly widened, "Oh that came out wrong! I don't want you in prison with me! I mean, I do…but then I don't…but…uh…bleh! I'm not making any sense! What I mean to say is that even though prison sucks, I'm glad that at least I have you for company. _That's_ what I meant to say!" He looked sheepishly at Tobias, "Sorry if that sounded kind of crappy—I'm not too good with saying nice stuff."

Tobias just smiled, "That's okay. I know what you meant. Ditto for me too."

Benjamin grinned and then stated, "Cool! So you wanna shoot some hoops again, amigo?!" He eagerly stood up and grabbed the basketball from the floor.

At Tobias's quizzical look, Benjamin helpfully adds, "Amigo is Spanish for friend. I took Spanish in high school but I got an 'F' since the teacher was mean. But I still know a few words. You want me to teach you?"

Tobias smiled and nodded as he stood up. Benjamin grinned and replied, "Awesome! I guess we could start tomorrow. But first I'm going to make this shot!" He positioned himself as if he was going to shoot the basketball but then caught himself, "Oh hold on a moment! I have something for you!"

Setting down the ball for a moment, Ben dug through his pocket and handed Tobias a red and white object—it was an origami Shuriken.

Tobias found himself beaming with delight as Ben excitedly said, "Isn't it cool?! I managed to make it yesterday in my room since the guard was cool enough to give me the construction paper! I told you I could make a Shuriken!"

Tobias chuckled, "I didn't doubt you for a minute Ben."

Benjamin smiled brightly, "Cool! It's for you! Do you like it?!"

Tobias nodded, "Of course I do. I like it as much as your drawings. Thank you."

"No problem! Okay…_now_ I'm going to make this shot!" Once he picked up the basketball, Benjamin tossed it in the air and whooped for joy when it successfully went in the basket.

Tobias clapped for support and Benjamin jokingly bowed before handing Tobias the basketball. Putting the Shuriken in his pocket, Tobias clutched the ball and eyed the basket. After a moment of contemplation, he threw the ball and somehow made the shot.

"And the crowd goes wild!" Benjamin exhaled loudly through his mouth to imitate a group of sports fans at a game. "And NBA player Tobias has won the game! Wow what a shot! Woo Hoo!" He then pretended to be cheering like an actual crowd while Tobias chuckled slightly with amusement.

They continued playing until the guards yelled for them and all the other inmates to get back inside. Both men said good-bye before separating and being escorted to their own rooms. Tobias was smiling to himself as he was led back and he couldn't help but agree with Benjamin; this was a great day—probably one of the best days of his life.

But of course he should've known it'll all come to an end.

After all, nothing good ever lasts for him.

* * *

**Uh oh.**

**What's gonna happen?**

**Well I'm not telling you...feel free to guess but otherwise I'm sure you have your own ideas. **

**Thanks for reading this chapter! I hope you liked it! Chapter 12 will be up soon! Bye! :D**


	12. Doubt and Pain

**Hello there! Happy Holidays! Merry Christmas! Happy December 25th! Happy Birthday! Whatever's going on for you, enjoy yourselves and make today as awesome as it can possibly be! :D**

**Alright so despite the cheeriness above, things in this chapter are anything but cheerful. Heh...my timing is just amazing :/**

**Hope you like it anyways!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot and any non Criminal Minds characters.**

**Warnings: language and violence**

**Just to let you know, all sentences in italics with this *symbol means that these are song lyrics; they're _not_ Tobias's inner thoughts. Only the italicized sentences ****_without_**** the *symbol are his thoughts. So remember: * means song lyrics! But I'm sure you'll be able to distinguish the difference.**

**I don't own the song but can you guess what it is?**

**And another thing, not all of the song lyrics are in order. Just saying...**

* * *

_*Please allow me to introduce myself_

_I'm a man of wealth and taste_

_I've been around for a long, long year_

_Stole many a man's soul and faith*_

The next day arrived and Tobias immediately felt a sense of dread. The moment he woke up, a tight knot of apprehension coated with dismay formed within him.

At first he couldn't fathom where it came from but then he realized that he wasn't alone.

"What the hell have you been up to, boy?"

_Father._

Tobias paled slightly as his father stood over him, glaring angrily. In his shock he couldn't speak so Father's eyes narrowed at the lack of response. "You been sinning again haven't you boy? I turn my back for one minute and you decide to disobey the Lord and betray Him. I may have been gone but that's no excuse to give up on your service to God! You understand me, boy?"

Shaking slightly, Tobias attempted to get ahold of himself as he tentatively replied, "I-I haven't done anything wrong F-Father. I-"

"Don't you lie to me, boy!" Father crossly interrupted, "I can easily tell that you've been up to no good! You're hiding something from me! I just know! Are you reading heathen literature again?!"

_*I was 'round when Jesus Christ_

_Had his moment of doubt and pain*_

As Father advanced menacingly on him, Tobias clenched his fists to try and stop his trembling, "N-no. I-I don't read stuff like that. I haven't been doing anything since you've been gone. I-I swear that I've been my following Bible."

"Don't swear to anything but God, boy."

"B-But I wasn't swearing to anyone! I j-just-"

Their conversation was interrupted when two guards unlocked the cell door and stepped in.

One of them looked at Tobias and said, "Good morning Mr. Hankel. It's time for breakfast. Let's go—you know the drill." He then gestured to the open door while the other officer pulled out his taser and kept a firm grip on his gun.

Tobias nervously looked at Father before allowing himself to be escorted. Father followed behind them and glared at the guards but otherwise didn't say a word. He's learned by now that snapping or growling at the officers will only get him in trouble.

So thankfully, he kept silent.

The guards led them along the hallways and paused at the double doors to the cafeteria.

Tobias's breathing hitched as something occurred to him.

_Benjamin._

He and Ben had breakfast together every day since they've met.

And Father's about to join them.

Alarm screeched mercilessly into Tobias as the guards ushered him and Father into the cafeteria, closing the doors behind them as if sealing his fate.

_*Made damn sure the Pilate_

_Washed his hands and sealed his fate*_

Tobias nervously looked around the room, trying to spot Benjamin before Father did. He didn't see the other man and was secretly praying that maybe Ben was caught up in one of his moods and wouldn't show up.

Hanging onto that meager possibility like a lifeline, Tobias warily made his way over to the breakfast line, fidgeting uneasily. Father followed right behind him and sternly assessed the other prisoners.

When it was Tobias's turn, he hurriedly grabbed his breakfast -an omelet and muffin- and practically rushed over to a corner table. He and Father sat down as Tobias grew more anxious. His eyes scanned the room, looking for any sign of Benjamin, but came up with nothing.

_Where is he? He should've been here by now._

Not that he necessarily _wanted_ Benjamin here while Father was around but he figured that until Father was taken away, it would best to avoid Ben for the time being. Tobias wanted to avoid conflict at all costs.

Keeping his eyes vigilant, Tobias absent-mindedly nibbled on his muffin.

"Aren't you going to thank the Lord for your meal, boy?"

Tobias turned to look at Father, who was frowning at him with distaste. "I thought I've taught you better than that. Thank the Lord for giving you something to eat. This may look like crap but it's the best he could do for a pathetic waste like you. Thank Him for His generosity!"

Slightly startled by Father's demands, Tobias quickly muttered a prayer before returning his attention to the cafeteria. Father grunted his approval before taking a bite of the omelet.

The two ate for a moment before Tobias's wandering brown eyes instantly halted on the blonde-haired man eagerly heading their way.

Tobias stiffened. _Oh no. Ben!_

Benjamin grinned when he fully reached him and Father and sat down. "Morning Tobias! How are you? How did you sleep? I slept okay. You know, I had this weird dream last night but the funny thing is that I don't really remember it. I just remember it being weird and I woke up thinking 'what the hell?' But otherwise I don't remember what it's about. I have a feeling that maybe it was about that book we've been writing but I don't really remember…weird huh?"

Benjamin's usual brightness and fast-paced chatter kept him oblivious to the extra addition to the table. That sense of dread grew stronger as Tobias dared to sneak a glance at Father. He looked somewhere between confused, shocked, and irritated as he stared at Ben.

_*Pleased to meet you, hope you guess my name*_

Tobias closed his eyes for a moment. _Please don't say anything. Please just…don't talk to Ben._

Unfortunately his internal pleas went unheard.

Tobias's eyes shot open when Father growled, "Who the hell are you?"

Benjamin briefly frowned in confusion but then cheerfully regained his grin and laughed, "Hah! Who the hell am I?! That's a good one! I never knew you were funny! And I love your voice! You sound deeper and growly…like a bear! I guess voice impersonations are your specialty!"

Tobias's heart sank with fearful anxiety. Benjamin's going to make Father upset with his comments. Obviously Father was offended and had a shocked yet furious glint in his eyes.

"A bear?! What the hell are you talking about?!" Father then sharply turned to Tobias, "Do you know this confused twit, boy? I thought I forbade you to associate with the heathens of Hell! And what the hell does he mean about writing a book?! Are you writing heathen literature?! _Reading_ it is sinful enough!"

Tobias flinched slightly but didn't say a word. He couldn't trust himself to speak so instead he stole a glance at Benjamin.

His grin was erased again and was replaced with a befuddled expression. "'Heathens'? What are you talking about? Tobias…are you okay?"

Tobias looked directly at Benjamin, his eyes filled with distress. "Ben…I need you to listen to me: do me a favor and leave us alone for a moment. We'll…talk later." Tobias wanted nothing more than to get Benjamin out of here so he could explain to Father about his newfound friendship and somehow convince him that Benjamin wasn't like the other inmates here.

However, Benjamin didn't budge, "Leave you alone? But…why? With who? You're not making any sense, Tobias."

_*But what's puzzling you is the nature of my game*_

_Oh dear Lord._

Tobias glanced at Father; he looked infuriated and was clenching his fists on top of the table.

Then he leaned forward and snarled, "I don't know who the hell you are but I know a sinning bastard when I see one. Get out of here before I stab a fork in your eye!"

Father turned back to Tobias, "And as for you boy, your soul should be laid to waste! How fucking dare you disobey me! I specifically ordered you to stay away from the devils here and to quit reading anything other than the Bible! You've broken another one of His commandments yet again! I'm ashamed to call you my son!"

_*Get all your well-learned politesse_

_Or I'll lay your soul to waste*_

Tobias trembled slightly but it wasn't out of fear for himself—it was for Ben.

His friend looked startled and even afraid. Tobias wasn't sure whether he wanted to yell for Ben to leave while he still could or to curl into a ball.

"F-Father…please, I-"

"Don't waste my time on excuses, boy! I don't want to hear that pathetic shit!"

Benjamin's lower lip shook slightly as he interjected, "What…what's going on? Tobias…why are you acting this way? What's wrong with you?"

_I'm a worthless excuse for a human being who's not strong enough to stand up to his own father!_

Tobias was too chagrined to say anything. Benjamin probably thought he was an insolent weakling, seeing how he allows himself to be treated by Father.

He opened his mouth to say something, anything, but then Father angrily looks back at Benjamin, "What the hell are you still doing here?! I thought I told you to leave! And I don't want you talking to my son again, you damned son of a bitch!"

Benjamin looked ready to succumb to his uncontrollable depression but then his hurt expression flared into anger. "Who the hell are you calling a 'son of a bitch' you crazy bastard?!" Then he violently threw his breakfast to the side, attracting the attention of a few people, "You have no fucking right to talk me like that! I thought we were friends!"

Tobias jumped and became fearful of the escalating ferocity of the conversation. He had been afraid of this.

Hoping to reverse the situation, Tobias hastily said, "We-we are friends Ben! I-I'm sorry but…look I'll explain later. Just please leave! I need a word with my father!"

Underneath his growing outrage, Benjamin looked confused. But then it quickly passed. "I don't know what kind of a game you're playing Tobias but it's not funny! I don't know what the hell you're talking about but you're really starting to piss me off with this charade of yours!"

_*But what's confusing you is just the nature of my game*_

_Charade? _Tobias was momentarily puzzled until he realized that Ben probably figured that he was playing with his head and was really siding with Father.

Alarmed, Tobias replied, "I'm not playing Ben! I promise you I'll talk with you later but-"

"But nothing boy!" Father unexpectedly cut it, "You ain't talking with this narrow-minded infidel anymore! He's just trying to convert you into Satan's army! Don't you fall for his lies, boy! Even God can't save you if you do!"

Then he turned back to Benjamin, "And as for you lying piece of shit…take your demon self and go back to hell where you belong! This world doesn't need any more devils running around. In fact, if I weren't confined by the bastards here, I'd burn your sinning ass with the fire of your own wicked soul!"

Benjamin looked angrily appalled, "I don't have a wicked soul you bastard! I'm not a devil—you are! You're the one spewing out a load of crazy crap! Hell, you _do_ belong here since you're so screwed over!"

Suddenly Father sprang up from his chair, looking livid, "You watch the way you talk to me! I won't be insulted by an ignorant demon!"

Tobias couldn't take it anymore, "Stop it, Father! Please! He's not a demon!"

However both he and Benjamin ignored him. By now they had every inmate's attention and they all were watching with excitement and curiosity as they all got up and formed a circle around them. Meanwhile the guards within the cafeteria appeared alarmed and were attempting to get through the tight circle.

Benjamin took no notice of them, his blue eyes fully focused on Father, "Shut up! I'm not a demon and I'm _not_ ignorant!"

Father scoffed, "You sure about that? Because it seems to me that you're nothing but a heathen from hell with a mind as simple as a child's."

That did it—something in Ben snapped.

With a roar of anger, he lunged forward and punched Father straight across the face! Tobias cried out as Father simultaneously released a yell of surprised rage. However, he regained himself and tackled Benjamin down, beginning to pummel him!

The cafeteria was in an uproar—inmates began shouting out cheers of encouragement or just random comments while the guards tried to shove through the crowd.

Tobias paid no attention to this however—his eyes were glued to his father and Ben rolling around on the floor, punching one another. Tobias felt the stings of the blows as if he was the one fighting and he couldn't seem to breathe.

This can't be happening. This _shouldn't_ be happening.

He wanted so desperately to jump into the fray and pull them apart but found that he couldn't. He couldn't move. He couldn't stop this.

Meanwhile the other inmates yelled out their own remarks and purposely blocked the guards from gaining access to the fight. Earl was among them as he cruelly shouted, "Yeah that's right! Hit 'im! Hit 'im good! Strangle 'im till he dies! Rip out his eyes! Tear out his heart with yer bare hands! Make that bastard suffer!"

_*I watched with glee while your kings and queens_

_Fought for ten decades, for the gods they made_

_I shouted out 'who killed the Kennedys?'_

_When after all, it was you and me*_

Tobias couldn't tell if he was cheering for Father or for Ben but it didn't matter—currently Father had one of Benjamin's arms twisted behind him and was using his free hand to grab a fistful of his hair and slam his face brutally into the floor! Benjamin was struggling, snarling out severe curses despite his pain.

It was seeing the blood on Benjamin's face that finally Tobias broke out of his trance. He pounced forward and forced Father to let go of Ben. "Father, stop it! Don't hurt him! He's my friend! Leave him alone!"

Father looked absolutely furious as he aimed his seething glare at Tobias for interfering. "What the hell did you say, boy?! Did you just say that this heathen is your friend?!"

However he wasn't given the chance to say anymore since Benjamin re-grabbed him and began hitting Father again! Tobias cried out in fear, distraught that this was happening.

Eventually a bunch of guards somehow shoved into the overexcited crowd and they quickly grabbed Father, Tobias, and Benjamin, who looked ready to charge at Father again, and yanked them away from one another. The other officers immediately tried to get the inmates under control and they gradually dispersed the assembly of onlookers.

_*Just as every cop is a criminal _

_And all the sinners saints*_

Without a word, the guards began to drag Benjamin away while the others held Tobias and Father tightly. Ben angrily struggled and shouted out more profanities.

_*I'm in need of some restraint*_

Tobias felt sick to his stomach. Ben looked awful; his nose was bloody and crooked and his bottom lip had an ugly gash on it.

It was in complete contrast to Father who only looked roughed up at best.

Before the officers got Benjamin out of the room, he sharply looked at Tobias and shouted, "You're dead to me, Tobias! Dead to me! I'll kill you the next time I see you! You hear me?! _I'll kill you!_" The double doors of the cafeteria slammed shut, as if emphasizing Ben's fury.

* * *

**Ahem...so yeah...**

**Thanks for reading the chapter! I hope it didn't bum you out too much...especially since it's the holiday season. Again, my timing is just amazing. It wasn't my intention though :/**

**Alright so see you next time and have a wonderful day! **


	13. Breakdown

**Hey there!**

**So...yeah..that last chapter was pretty...yeah...**

**I'm sorry if it depressed any of you, heck I even winced as I wrote it, but you got to know that it was sort of inevitable. 'Charles' and 'Raphael' are a part of Tobias and who ever meets him meets them. And with Benjamin's condition...**

**So yeah, this is mostly a filler chapter with a bit more sadness and despair :/**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Criminal Minds nor any of the recognizable stuff**

**Warnings: angst, ****_brief_**** references to drugs...that's it I guess**

**Before I forget, I have more song lyrics! This is called "Breakdown" by Daughtry, my favorite band of all time! For those of you who heard it before, I know it's supposed to be a heartbreak song but when you take apart the lyrics seperately, it actually fits with the chapter. I couldn't resist! Besides, Daughtry is awesome! :D**

**The song from the last chapter was "Sympathy for the Devil" by the Rolling Stones. Yeah I know, I'm obsessed with the song. But I have a great excuse: it's amazingly brilliant!**

* * *

_*Open up the book you beat me with again_

_Read it off one sentence at a time_

_I'm tired of all the lines_

_Convictions and your lies*_

Tobias's eyes were wet with tears as he sat alone in his cell. His wrists were handcuffed together and his arm was still stinging slightly from the poke of the needle from the medication he received hours earlier. He had just woken up and the memory of earlier had broken him.

The violent animosity between Father and Benjamin had shaken Tobias but he was crying because of Benjamin's words.

_You're dead to me, Tobias! I'll kill you the next time I see you!_

_You're dead to me! _

_You're dead to me!_

Tobias wasn't sure what hurt worse: Benjamin's words or the black demon of fury within them.

Either way, it hurt—it hurt so badly.

Tobias should've foreseen a not-so-friendly interaction between Father and Benjamin but nothing could've prepared him for how horrible it turned out.

Once again Father has managed to mess up yet another part of Tobias's life. He's been doing it for years and yet now it seems worse than any beating he could've inflicted upon him.

Father has taken away Tobias's friend.

Tobias has lost Benjamin.

They weren't friends anymore.

Benjamin hated him.

The truth of that statement sent a stab of excruciating pain that made Tobias shudder and it renewed his sobs.

_I've lost Ben. He hates me. We'll never be friends again._

Tobias choked on another cry and tightly hugged his knees to his chest.

And just when he thinks that things were starting to get better…

_*It's not the time to breakdown.*_

_*Keep it together, now.*_

* * *

A couple of days passed and Tobias wasn't allowed to leave his room. This was his punishment for the incident in the cafeteria but he didn't care. He cried until his eyes dried out and then he submitted to a state of numb indifference.

He didn't talk to anyone—he wouldn't talk to anyone.

Since he was solitary confinement, the guards had to bring him food which he barely ate. Tobias didn't complain when the doctors came in for his usual medication and stoically let them inject him.

He didn't read. He didn't speak. He did nothing. Tobias merely sat on his bed staring at the wall or out the barred window not saying a thing, feeling so empty and lost.

_*And still crowdin' my space are the things you still hold against me*_

He wouldn't even speak to Father or Raphael.

After two days of solitary confinement, Father came back and gave Tobias hell for associating with Benjamin. He yelled at him and cursed him to the heavens for 'backstabbing' him and 'going against God' with his 'unspeakable blasphemy'. However, Tobias refused to respond and didn't react—he even managed to somehow suppress his fear. He just didn't feel it—or anything for that matter.

As a result, he angered Father.

His father was outraged at Tobias's lack of…anything and he shouted at him until he turned red. When Tobias still gave no indication of caring, Father began to hit him. Tobias took the blows, not really feeling them. It was only until the guards intervened and gave him medicine did Father actually stop.

The day after was when Raphael returned.

He rebuked Tobias for hanging out with Benjamin and lectured him on the evils of listening to demons. Tobias merely sat there without really listening.

Raphael had gotten irritated by his apathy but didn't resort to violence like Father had. Instead he coldly told Tobias about how he failed God and was going to hell for it. Then he mercifully left him alone.

_*What right do you have to point at me?*_

_*You cannot save me…*_

* * *

It was now day 5 of Tobias's solitary confinement. Ever since his visit from Raphael, he had been left alone from both him and Father.

But Tobias couldn't really enjoy the peace.

He sat on his bed, melancholy pouring over him in fiery yet icy buckets. He didn't want to do anything. He didn't feel like reading—he lost interest in the books.

Tobias ached with a dull sense of pain that persistently throbbed within him.

_What did I do wrong? What did I do to deserve losing Benjamin, one of the few people that I could call my friend? Why did Father have to ruin everything? Why did he have to make Ben hate me? Why can't Father leave me alone?_

_*Read it all no need for separating it_

_You see what you want and try to justify*_

Tobias was pulled from his state of depression when the door to his cell opened. Two guards stepped in, looking warily at him.

"Hello Tobias," one of them spoke up, "How are you today?"

_How do you think I feel? I don't think I've ever felt so awful like this before._

At Tobias's blank stare, the guard continued after clearing his throat, "Well we've noticed that your behavior has improved these past few days so we decided that you've earned back one of your privileges."

He nodded to his companion who pulled out an envelope and gave it to Tobias.

For a moment he was confused until he recognized the handwriting. Despite himself, he allowed a ghost of a smile as he held Spencer's letter.

"You received this a couple of days ago but we detained it for obvious reasons." The guard looked pointedly at Tobias, who ignored the mute accusation. "But you seem to be doing better so you've earned it. Unfortunately you still have to remain in your room for a few more days but rest assured if your behavior continues to improve then we might let you go back out sooner."

Tobias nodded and then hesitated before asking, "Could either of you please get me some paper, a pencil, an envelope, and a stamp? I'd like to write back."

The guards seemed surprised that Tobias decided to speak after days of total silence. However the one who had given him the letter replied, "Yeah sure, we'll see what we can do. But if you're going to write back, then we're going to have to read what you put down first before we mail it."

Tobias inclined his head, "I know."

The officers briskly nodded and then left the room to grab the supplies he asked for.

Once they left, Tobias unsealed the envelope, pulled out the letter, and began to read.

_Dear Tobias,_

_I'm glad you're enjoying my letters because it is as equally as pleasant hearing from you as well. Every couple of days I find myself checking the mailbox to see if you've written back. It really is gratifying whenever you back to me._

_I'm amazed that things have gotten better for you, Tobias. I'm happy that you're in decent condition and I really hope that it stays that way for a while if not for an unlimited time interval. Though I can't say anything about your father and Raphael, I am glad that at least you can find some time away from them. I'm also pleased that your medication is working out for you and that you have some moments of peace once in a while._

_I meant what I said about you not being a monster, Tobias—you're not and you never will be no matter what you father and Raphael say or do. I'm positive that in time you'll realize your own strength and you'll discover and understand what's been suppressed for so long. You _are_ strong, Tobias, more than you know and definitely more than what you give yourself credit for. If you're capable of compassion and defiance against something you know is wrong, then you not only have strength but humanity as well._

_There are times that I usually find urban legends to be fascinating but I have ambiguous feelings about the 'Slender man'. It's interesting yet it's also irritating that the media has over-exemplified this legend and has some people paranoid. I'm glad though that you find it funny since it reminds you of Earl. I may not know him but it sounds humorous from your perspective._

_As far as I know, the 'Slender man' doesn't speak but he does kill children. I'm just as relieved as you are that he doesn't exist. You're right—children don't deserve that kind of evil._

_I'm sorry that you can't check out the game but I don't think there's anything I can do to lift the computer ban. Hopefully though if they see that you're presenting good behavior then perhaps the institution can make an exception for you and maybe allow you to monitored or limited access. Who knows. I'm at least glad that you understand and that you don't seem upset by it. Besides, like I mentioned before, the game is juvenile and it basically doesn't have much of a purpose. Honestly I don't even know why the player needs to collect eight pages in the first place._

Crime and Punishment _is a very interesting novel and I'm glad that you enjoyed it. I pleased that you've taken up Edgar Allan Poe. He is a very unique author with an intriguing perspective on life and imagination. Though his work is dark, I find it compelling. Personally my favorite stories of choice are "The Raven", "The Pit and the Pendulum", and "The Tell-Tale Heart". I hope you enjoy Poe as much I did and still do. When you're done, let me know what you think. I'd like to hear your opinion._

_Tobias, I'd like to take this moment to thank you. I took your advice and apologized to my friend. It wasn't easy at first but once I did, everything else just followed smoothly. My friend forgave me and everything is better between us. Things were already fine as they were but now I feel a stronger, closer bond with her since we've seemed to have cleared the air. She understands me better than ever and I have a deep respect for her in return. This wouldn't have happened without your urging Tobias. Thank you._

_You don't to apologize about the Dilaudid. I already said that I forgive you and I don't want you to have to feel guilty about it. Like I said, I understand that your intentions were meant to be helpful. Besides, my addiction to it has taught me a few things and has made me stronger in the process. And I get the gist that it's done the same for you. The fact that you understand it to be unhealthy is amazing and that in a way it has taught you to accept your medication is just remarkable. You should feel proud of yourself, Tobias. You've proven yourself to be quite extraordinary._

_It's a shame that I can't do anything for you in regards to your sponsor but I'm intrigued that you've found a friend. Benjamin sounds interesting. Please don't take offense if I ask you to be wary around him but from what you just told me Benjamin appears unstable. However, it's not really my place to judge and if you're okay around him then I'm happy for your sake._

_Benjamin also sounds upbeat and fun to be around. I'm thrilled that you've found someone you can talk to and someone that could possibly be your friend. It's nice that you and Benjamin hang out and it's apparent that he enjoys your company to say the least._

_Unfortunately, I think you're right in saying that your father and Raphael won't like him. They don't really seem to like anyone but I'm sure that if you tell Benjamin about them then he'll understand. Maybe you can even ask one of the guards to explain things as well in case you need some support._

_I'd like to hear more about Benjamin. He's really caught my interest and I'm profusely glad that you've made a friend! I really hope things work out for you, Tobias, I really do. But I'm sure that things will be fine! I can see no reason why Benjamin wouldn't like you! _

_If you're still interested, I have some book recommendations. I'm not sure what genre you like but I can offer you a list of amazing authors. I suggest authors like Kurt Vonnegut, Ernest Hemingway, F. Scott Fitzgerald, Gertrude Stein, Khaled Hosseini, Homer, and several others. One book I particularly had in mind is called _A Prayer for Owen Meany_ by John Irving. Something tells me you'll really like that one. _

_Anyways, I wish you good luck with Benjamin and everything else at the institution. I hope to hear from you soon, Tobias, and I hope that things stay well for you. Have a wonderful day!_

_Sincerely,_

_Spencer _

It's always nice hearing from Spencer. Tobias smiled when the young man said that he had talked to his friend and that she had willingly accepted his apology. Tobias found himself thoroughly relieved that she did so but of course he had no doubt that she would forgive Spencer—he's a good person and Tobias was happy that the young man received some much deserved exuberance and jubilation.

Tobias was content with the letter until Spencer mentioned Benjamin. Almost instantly Tobias's stomach clenched and he felt his initial numbing yet painful depression returning.

Spencer wanted to know more about Benjamin and asked for details on Tobias's new friend. From the words Spencer used, Tobias could almost sense the young man's eagerness and curiosity. Nevertheless, he was a bit bitter over the irony that Spencer seemed optimistic that things with Benjamin would be fine.

Of course Tobias wasn't angry with Spencer but it still felt like the universe had slapped him, mocked him for his reversal of luck.

Tobias set down the paper with a sigh. Although he was delighted that Spencer had written to him, it didn't completely remove his anguish.

At that moment the guards came back with the stuff he asked for. He thanked them and they left him alone again.

Tobias stared at the blank sheet of paper for a moment before beginning to write.

Once he finished the letter, Tobias sealed it in an envelope before passing it to the guard to mail it out. Then he wearily sank down in his bed and sighed. Though the letter was shorter than all his other ones, it was precise and 'to the point'. Tobias wanted help, needed help, and he had asked for it within the letter. Hopefully Spencer will understand his dilemma and will offer assistance in some way.

Tobias really needs a way to fix things.

_*Keep it together now_

_It's not the time to break*_

* * *

**Gosh, I love that song! It's sad but the lyrics combined with Chris Daughtry's voice makes it just so awesome! One of the band's best! But my absolute favorite Daughtry songs are "Losing My Mind" and "What I Meant To Say"! You guys should listen to them sometime :)**

**Ahem anyways...as always thanks for reading! I appreciate the support! Don't worry, things will get better in the next chapter! I promise! So until then, bye! :D**


	14. Muffins

**It's 2013! Woo Hoo! Happy New Year everyone! :D**

**Any New Year's resolutions for you guys?**

**Disclaimer: As always I don't own Criminal Minds or anything recognizable. I only own any non Criminal Minds stuff.**

**Warnings: brief references to drugs, spoilers to season 2 "The Big Game" and "Revelations", brief mild language**

**Additional warnings: over-exposure to the awesomeness of a tech goddess could result in falling into a state of spazzy fandom XD**

* * *

A couple days later, Spencer Reid had just finished up his paperwork at the BAU and was looking through his mail. He had brought some of the letters and bills he received from home to work in case he had some time on his hands.

And as it was, he did.

Reid had just finished reading a letter from his mother and was smiling at her words. She described one of her lessons in English Literature and he could easily imagine her zeal—she loved to teach. He often reminisces the times where she taught him her lectures and when she read to him. Those were the good times.

The young profiler briefly set down her letter -making a mental note to himself to write back later- and looked through his other mail. Bills, bills, and wouldn't you know it, bills.

Scrunching his nose, Reid put them aside and focused on the mail he received from work. He particularly kept a wary eye for a certain letter from a certain someone…

And wouldn't you know it…he found what he was looking for.

Reid smiled when he saw that he had another letter from Tobias. The last time the man had written to him, Tobias had mentioned that he had made a friend named Benjamin. Reid was both thrilled and wary; thrilled that Tobias had someone to talk to yet wary since Tobias had also admitted that Benjamin was emotionally unstable.

From how Tobias described Benjamin, Reid deduced that he had an unstable case of bipolar disorder. _That's_ what concerned him. Reid has studied numerous cases of bipolar disorder and although it's not very likely that those with it commit crimes, there have been instances of violence that got out of hand.

Reid couldn't bear to imagine what would happen if Benjamin got angry and Tobias was in the line of fire…

The young doctor shook his head. He had to relax. If Tobias was okay with it and he trusted Benjamin then Reid will just have to have confidence in his judgment.

Eager to learn how things were going for Tobias, Reid pulled out the letter and began to read.

_Dear Spencer,_

_It's wonderful to hear from you again. I'm glad that you're doing well. I'm also happy that you apologized to your friend. I know it must've been hard since you said that it's been a while since you last snapped at her. But I think it's a good thing that you talked to her. I think it's good for the soul to right a wrong. I had no doubts that your friend would forgive you—anyone would've in that situation._

_I just finished reading those Edgar Allen Poe stories. You were right, his perspective is very interesting and his writing is very compelling. I couldn't even put down the book. I thoroughly enjoyed it._

_Spencer, I'll admit that I haven't been doing so well. It involves Benjamin. Up until a few days ago we were good friends. He's told me more about himself recently. He hasn't changed his story on killing those people out of anger. But I'm not afraid of him. As it turns out, those mood swings I told you about are because he has something called mixed bipolar disorder. Have you heard of it? A guard told me that Ben has unstable mood swings that could get dangerous if Ben gets angry enough._

_Anyhow, Benjamin and I were getting along fine for a while. I even told him about Father and Raphael and about those murders I took part in and he accepted me anyways. I think we even got closer because of that. Everything was fine until a few days ago._

_Father came with me to breakfast a few days ago and he didn't like Ben. He yelled at him and called him a heathen. My father insulted him and he wouldn't stop. He got mad at me for hanging out with him and yelled at me too. Benjamin got mad. He was angry at Father for his insults and he's angry at me for not doing anything. I tried to get my father to see reasoning and I even asked Ben to leave so that I could talk to Father alone._

_But things got ugly real fast. Benjamin started yelling at Father and Father started yelling back at Benjamin. Then Ben hit Father and they got into a fight. Ben got hurt real bad and he told me he hated me. I've been locked in my room as punishment for that fight and I haven't seen Ben since. I know he hates me though. He wouldn't have said so otherwise. I think he thinks that I don't care too much for him since I didn't stop Father. Also, I think that he thinks that I've manipulated him somehow. Like I was just pretending to be his friend. But I would never do that to anyone, especially not him._

_Spencer, I don't know what to do. Ben's my first and only friend here and I've lost him. I want to ask him for forgiveness but I have a feeling that he won't listen to me. And even if I tried, I have a feeling that Father won't like it. He forbade me to ever speak to Ben again. Even Raphael doesn't like him. If Father were to catch me hanging out with Benjamin again, then he might just kill him._

_I'm afraid and miserable, Spencer. I wish that Father didn't yell at Ben. I wish that I could've been stronger and that I should've stood up for Benjamin. What kind of a friend lets his father yell at him? I wish that none of this ever happened. I haven't been outside of my room for days and I already miss Ben. What should I do? Should I try and ask for Benjamin's forgiveness anyway? But what'll he say if I do? I don't know. I'd appreciate it if you offer me some advice if you happen to have the time. _

_Thank you and have a nice day Spencer._

_From,_

_Tobias_

Reid's eyes widened as he read about 'Charles' and Benjamin's violent encounter.

Once Reid finished the letter, he sat for a moment in thoughtful silence. He could see the issue; Benjamin was confused by Tobias's behavior and was angry. Maybe he thought that Tobias was playing a cruel prank on him or something when in reality he was merely experiencing another usual moment with one of his personalities.

Tobias had asked him for advice on how to fix this but what could he have to offer? Reid figured that the best thing do was to have Tobias explain things to Benjamin and maybe apologize on his father's behalf.

But then again, Tobias wasn't aware of his own condition so it's obviously going to be difficult for him to offer an explanation.

And most likely anything else that Tobias tells Benjamin might just confuse and anger him further.

Reid sighed in frustration and wondered what he could do to help. He desperately wanted to help Tobias reconcile his friendship with Benjamin. Somehow Benjamin has to learn that 'Charles' is just one of Tobias's personalities and that he has no control over it. But since Tobias has no clue of the truth, he can't give Benjamin a rational explanation. Yet someone has to?!

Then Reid started in his seat. Someone has to…so why not him?

Growing increasingly excited, Reid got up from his chair and walked over to Garcia's office. He knocked on the door of the tech goddess's domain before entering.

Garcia had appeared bored when he walked in but instantly perked up once she saw who it was, "Why hello there my sweet muffin! To what do I owe the pleasure! I mean it's not every day that I receive a visit from a mortal that can withstand my divine form!"

Reid smiled a bit and then said, "Garcia I need a favor from you. Do you think that you could get me the number of an institution in Atlanta, Georgia? I, um, need to make an important call."

Garcia's smile brightened, "Well duh of course I can get it! It's like you're asking me how to hack into a government computer! I'll have it for you in a jiff! What's the name of the place?"

Although initially startled by the idea of Garcia being so easily capable of breaking a federal law, Reid recovered himself and provided the name of the institution. Within seconds Garcia located the building's number and he quickly wrote it down.

"Well there you go boy genius! You may thank me now and proceed to worship my greatness!"

Reid grinned, "Thanks Garcia! I owe you!"

Garcia playfully smiled, "Damn straight you do! And you may start by buying me some raspberry ice tea and a cinnamon roll at the Panera down the street!" She then got up from her chair and grabbed her purse, "You may escort me now."

Reid just shook his head knowingly and chuckled, "Alright, fine."

Garcia squealed with delight, "Great! And we'll buy you a muffin too while we're at it! Do you prefer blueberry or banana nut? Oh don't give that look! We need to fatten you up! Ooh while we're at it, we should get my chocolate god a sweet, delicious cupcake! And JJ loves carrot cake; we should buy her a slice! …You know what, we'll just buy something for everyone! It'll be a nice surprise!"

"Alright Garcia, whatever you say." Reid then allowed Garcia to loop her arm through his own as they walked out of her office and towards the elevator that'll take them down to the lobby.

As they left, Reid figured that he'll have to make the call after work…once he and Garcia buy some pastries for the team that is. How again had he come to that? Yet honestly Reid didn't mind—he's just glad that Garcia didn't ask why he wanted the number to the institution.

Now _that_ would've raised some questions he'd rather not answer.

* * *

About four days passed before Tobias was released from his room. He wasn't too thrilled about it though; frankly he'd rather be locked up longer.

But he didn't have much of choice as a guard came to escort him to breakfast. He had asked if there was any way that he could stay longer but the guard said no. So Tobias reluctantly followed the officer out of the cell and they were now heading towards the cafeteria.

With each step Tobias grew more anxious.

_What if I see Ben today? Oh what am I saying of course he's going to be there! What if he talks to me? Or should I talk to him first? But what'll I say to him? Will he accept my forgiveness? And what if he doesn't want to talk to me? What if he refuses to be near me? What if he still hates me and wants to kill me?!_

That last thought made Tobias flinch. _Hopefully it won't come to that._

Tobias was at least happy that Father and Raphael weren't with him today. In fact, he's been alone in his room for a while now, doing nothing but stare at the wall and occasionally re-read Spencer's letters.

It's been days since Tobias has written to Spencer and he hasn't gotten a response yet. Not that he blames Spencer; no, he was fully aware that sending mail takes time to be delivered back and forth. He just wished that it went faster so he could see what advice Spencer had to give him.

That is_ if_ he was willing to give any to him.

Tobias sighed. He'd like to think that Spencer would offer him some form of consolation but he could only hope in the meantime.

He was pulled from his musings when the guard stopped at the cafeteria's double doors and opened them for him. Without much of a choice, Tobias reluctantly walked in.

The cafeteria was busy as usual; the inmates were bustling about, eating, talking, or staring off into space. Tobias couldn't help but notice that there were just a few more guards than there usually was; even the officer that brought him here didn't leave and just took a post with a few of his co-workers.

Tobias observed the area, his brown eyes attentively searching for Ben. He still wasn't sure what to do and wondered what would happen if they were to see each other. At best, Tobias hoped that if he were to run into Benjamin, he would be ignored. He'd be hurt if that happened but yet he would understand.

Besides, it's a better option than Ben attacking him in rage.

Tobias shuddered. Then he absent-mindedly walked over to the breakfast line and waited. The special today was miniature pancakes and orange juice. As he stood there, Tobias felt the eyes of other prisoners staring at him and was aware that some of them were whispering to each other.

About him.

And what had happened with Father.

Doing his best to ignore them, Tobias hurriedly grabbed his breakfast and searched around the room for an empty table—preferably somewhere he can eat in peace.

As he scanned the cafeteria, Tobias's sharpened eyes stopped and focused on a familiar blonde haired, blue eyed man.

_Benjamin._

Ben was sitting by himself towards the back of the cafeteria, staring at his untouched plate with listless, desolate eyes. He seemed calm, almost dead.

Tobias watched him for a moment, conflicted. Should he talk to him or should he just pretend that he didn't see him and find somewhere else to sit? How would Benjamin react if Tobias _did_ talk to him? And what would Tobias do if Benjamin told him to get lost?

He'd probably honor his wishes.

Tobias hesitated. What should he do? Although Benjamin seems to be in a regular mood, any slight change could set him off, most likely if it was Tobias.

But Tobias couldn't just leave it like this. He should at least try to apologize for Father's behavior. Even if Benjamin yelled at him and angrily sent him away, Tobias could at least say that he tried.

And that should count for something right?

Suddenly full of conviction, Tobias walked to Benjamin's table, taking purposeful strides. With each step he grew more confident and even more so determined.

Benjamin didn't notice him as Tobias stopped in front of table. Tobias wasn't sure if Benjamin was that oblivious to his surroundings or that he was choosing to ignore him. Either way he didn't look up.

Taking a deep breath, Tobias asked, "Do you mind if I sit here?"

At the sound of his voice, Benjamin actually did look up. Tobias expected anger and hostility in his eyes but he was caught off guard by the expressionless stare.

Benjamin assessed him for a moment, Tobias holding his breath the entire time, when he nodded and said, "Go ahead. I don't own this table."

Ever so slightly relieved, Tobias sat down across from Benjamin.

There was silence between them. Benjamin merely gazed at him while Tobias struggled for the right words to say. _Oh curse it all! Why did I have to come here if I hadn't a clue what to say?!_

Benjamin seemed to be waiting for Tobias to say something. _I guess he's expecting an apology. Maybe that's where I'll start._

After taking a second to straighten up, Tobias began to speak, "Benjamin…I-I'm so sorry for my father's behavior a few days ago. He's…very brutal, I, um, think I've mentioned that before. But I'm sorry for what he's said to you. He had no right to say what he did and I do apologize for it. I just…I'm so sorry."

Once that apology was stated, Tobias wasn't sure what else to say. Was there anything more he _could_ say?

No, not really. What happens next depends entirely on Ben.

Benjamin tilted his head slightly and gazed deeply into Tobias, as if reading into his soul. Tobias hoped that he'd see whatever goodness Spencer sees in him rather than the pitiful weakling that Father sees him as.

A moment passed and Tobias noticed with a faint glimmer of delight that Benjamin's face was softening a bit. However, he still maintained that dull glint in his eyes.

"Tobias…" He had to suppress his thrill at being addressed, "is your father here right now?"

Taken aback by the question, Tobias answered, "If you're asking if he's in the cafeteria right now then no, he's not."

Tobias took note of how Benjamin's shoulder relaxed a bit. "Okay…what about the archangel Raphael…is he here today?"

"No."

At his statement, Benjamin much more visibly relaxed and he even smiled slightly. Tobias made an uneasy smile himself. _That's a good sign._

"Okay good—now we can talk in private. Tobias, I, um…we'll you see," Ben seemed to have difficulty with whatever he had to say, "this is the first day I've been let out of my room. They locked me up after…what had happened. I was alone for days."

_Same here._ "I figured as much," Tobias answered honestly.

Benjamin nodded, "Yeah, so get this—a couple of days ago I was sitting in my room, bored as hell, when a guard walks in and tells me that I had a phone call. Now I'm thinking to myself, 'who would call me?' but I was curious so I went to go answer it."

Tobias was reassured that Benjamin was slowly growing back to his old self as he started to talk fast like how he usually does. But Tobias was questioning as to where Benjamin's story was heading.

"So I was led to this room with a couple of telephones and they give me one. I answer it and I was told some very interesting things…about you." He looks at Tobias seriously.

"Me?" Tobias was slightly alarmed. Who would have information about him? What _kind_ of information? These unanswered questions startled him.

Benjamin continued, "Yes you. So this guy on the phone tells me about…your situation regarding your father and Raphael. And I mean I get _major _details; I was told a bit about those murders and how you…took part in it. But it was all stuff that you already told me—nothing new. So anyways, the guy tells me about that and he kind of tells me about the abuse from your father. Again, it's stuff you already told me.

"Alright so this guy's telling me about you and I'm thinking 'what's your point?' but then he tells me…some other things about you."

Tobias flinched slightly, "What other things?"

Benjamin looked sympathetically at him, "I know about the Dilaudid, Tobias. I knew that you took it with psychedelics."

Tobias stiffened. So he knows…

Tobias was ashamed of his former addiction but before that incident with Father, he had been contemplating whether or not he should tell Benjamin about the drugs. He knew that Ben wouldn't judge but he felt that they needed to bond a bit more before he revealed one of his darkest, most shameful secrets.

Which Ben now knows.

Tobias wasn't sure whether or not that was reassuring.

Benjamin took in his expression, his own face full of understanding, "Yeah…I kind of wish you would've told me that yourself instead of some stranger. Anyways, so that guy told me about the Dilaudid and frankly, I don't blame you for taking it since you lived with your father and all. Then that guy told me about…why you're _really_ here and I just want to say that…I get it. I understand what you're going through. Well…I mean I don't _know_ your situation because I've never…well I'm not…I don't have…um, err…I can empathize. Let's just say that." He put on a sheepish smile.

Tobias was confused. _What? What does Ben mean? What's he trying to say? _

Then Tobias unconsciously straightened up. _Wait…did that person tell him about my past? I may have told Benjamin a bit about it but maybe this guy gave him more details?_

Benjamin continued, "So now that I know about…your father and Raphael, I just wanna say that I'm cool with it. I don't mind them being around; I can tolerate them."

Any doubt-filled questions that were running through Tobias's head instantly halted. _He's…fine with having Father and Raphael around? But if he is, then that means…_

"Are you saying that-"

"Yes Tobias," Benjamin gently interrupted, "I want us to be friends again…that is if you'll let me." He made a soft smile, "You've been good to me, dealing with my random mood swings and all and…I don't want to lose our friendship. I know that sounds really crappy, but it's true. I want to hang out again like before. I don't want your father or Raphael to ruin things for us. I want to be friends again."

For a moment Tobias was speechless. _Ben wants to be friends again! _

That thought made Tobias smile widely, "You do?"

Sensing his zeal, Benjamin brightly grinned, "Of course I do! I wouldn't be saying so if I didn't mean it!"

A warm fire of happiness blazed within Tobias, "Ben…there's nothing I'd like better than for us to be friends again! There's no one I'd rather hang out with! We're amigos!"

Tobias was sure that his pronunciation of Spanish sounded awful, but Benjamin didn't seem to mind—if anything he beamed with ecstasy. "Yes, we are amigos! And we always will be!"

Just as quickly as he was happy, Benjamin became dejected once again as a thought occurred to him, "But wait, what about your father? I know already he doesn't like me; what's he gonna say? And what about Raphael? I don't think he'll like me very much either. If either of them sees me hanging out with you, they'll get angry, right?" He looked at Tobias with melancholy eyes.

Immediately Tobias's joy sharply diminished. Yes…what about Father and Raphael? They've both already made it clear that they find Benjamin to be a demon—Father even forbade him to associate with him ever again. Tobias doesn't doubt that Father would do something violent if he witnessed him and Ben talking even for a minute.

But…Benjamin isn't a demon—he's a fun, animated human being.

So why should Tobias not hang out with him? There's nothing wrong with him (generally speaking). Tobias likes Benjamin and Ben likes him. He wasn't manipulating him with temptations of sin—he talked with Tobias and he seems to understand him.

Why should Tobias have to give up interacting with someone who made him happy?

Growing slightly impassioned, Tobias exclaimed, "Yeah, they'll get angry but…who cares! I don't…give a damn if they disapprove! Why should they call you a heathen while they're the ones who have killed innocent people?! It's not fair! I won't let them ruin the only real friendship I've ever really had!"

Benjamin's eyes widened at Tobias's heated statements but then slowly smiled, "Damn…that was so…wow. Thank you…for saying that, Tobias. It means so much that you care. It really does…thank you."

Tobias calmed down and returned the smile, "You're welcome…thank you for understanding me and forgiving me. I'm glad we're friends again."

Benjamin smiled brightly, "Me too." He paused then added, "So what are you going to do about your father and the archangel?"

Tobias thought for a moment, "Well I know that they can't stop me from hanging out with you no matter what they say…but if they ever come then I suggest you just leave. It might be better that way if you just let me handle them and keep your distance until they leave."

Benjamin took in what he said then nodded, "Okay, I guess I can do that if you really want me to. Whatever you think is best, buddy." He ended that sentence with a grin.

Tobias was reassured by Benjamin's fully returned cheerfulness. "Great, but hopefully that won't happen again for a while."

"Yeah same here…off topic but do you want my muffin? I sort of grabbed it without thinking but I don't really like muffins. I think breakfast time is almost over anyways. We ought to eat. Besides, I love pancakes!"

Tobias chuckled lightly, "Same here. And I'll take your muffin if you really don't want it."

Benjamin happily passed it over and then the two began to talk about everything and anything as they ate. Tobias was bliss—he had his friend back. God has shined through his brief moment of darkness. A challenge had been thrown at Tobias yet the Lord pulled him free and showed him mercy.

And that's all because of one phone call…

Suddenly Tobias started and interrupted Benjamin, "Say Ben…did you say who it was that called you a few days ago?"

Benjamin's expression twisted with confusion, "Uh no I didn't tell you. The guy did tell me his name though. What was it…? He said he was a doctor…"

_A doctor? I know a doctor, right?_

Simultaneously both Tobias's and Benjamin's eyes lit up. Then Ben eagerly snapped his fingers when he remembered, "Dr. Reid! Yeah that's it…Dr. Spencer Reid! That's what he said his name was!"

* * *

**Yay! Everything's alright! Go Reid! :D**

**Alright so I hope you guys enjoyed that and I really hope you guys have a great New Year's day!**

**More to come after the break! XD**


	15. Saving Grace

**Hey there Fanfic people! Sorry about the short delay but life got in the way (internal rhyme not intended). And it doesn't help that I have a mild case of writer's block...:P**

**But I have a little treat for those of you liking the letters! Read the chapter and check it out ;)**

**Disclaimer: I think you guys would know me by now if I owned Criminal Minds :)**

**Warnings: brief mentions of gore (it's practically non-existant), indirect spoilers to Season 2 "The Big Game" and "Revelations"**

* * *

Later that day, Tobias sat in his room alone just lying on his bed, taking in deep, contented breaths.

_I can't believe Spencer actually called Benjamin to explain things to him! That was so nice of him. He…helped me._

Tobias smiled. He was in despair for days over losing his friend but he had gotten him back because of Spencer—the young man had read his letter and had helped him.

Tobias couldn't even fathom how touched he was at the act and how happy he was at its results. He and Ben are friends again because of Spencer.

It had been great sitting with Ben at breakfast, laughing, talking, and eating like normal, as if the fight had never occurred. They hung out as they usually did during the day and not once were they interrupted by either Father or Raphael.

Could the day get any better?

Apparently so since at that moment, a guard walked in, holding a crisp envelope. Filled to the brim with delight, Tobias thanked the officer and took the letter. He opened the envelope and began to read.

_Dear Tobias,_

_Hey there Tobias! How are you? I hope you're doing better now since the last time you wrote to me you were having some trouble. Well rest assured, I can help and I've already begun to. _

_Before I started writing this, I made a call to the institution and I spoke with Benjamin. I explained to him about your situation with your father and Raphael and I told him a bit of how you got into the institution. Don't worry, I didn't give him excessive details about your predicament and only gave him an overview; I figured that it would be rude if I indulged in your personal life with him. After all, it's your decision whether or not you want to talk about it and it's certainly not my place to speak so deeply about it. So basically I only shared the surface._

_From what I can gather from my conversation with Benjamin, I assume that he understood what I told him. However, I'm not entirely sure what he thinks of it but I can guess that he was still processing what I told him. Hopefully though he can accept your father and Raphael since _your_ personality shouldn't reflect on what _they've_ done. Benjamin became friends with you because he likes socializing with you. And it seems that he accepts you despite what you've told him in regards to the murders._

_I know it's easier said than done but try not to feel guilty about any of this—none of this is your fault Tobias. Sure you may believe that he's angry with you because you claim that you didn't do much but he has to understand that although you care for him, Charles is also your father and that you can't dishonor him. He has to know that it was difficult for you to compromise._

_I'm sure though that Benjamin will see things clearer after I had explained things to him and I know that he'll forgive you in time. Just be patient and give him some space until he fully comprehends your situation. Trust me when I say that I know he'll understand and that things will eventually smooth over._

_On the minimal chance that Benjamin is still hostile, then I suggest you keep your distance and maybe even apologize to him on behalf of your father when he's in a calm, stable mood. And if he doesn't accept, then let me know and I'll talk to him again. I'll do what I can to help to at least help Benjamin to understand._

_I hope that my call helped things. When you told me of Benjamin, I was happy that you had a friend and I can see why you like him. During our conversation, he was just as you described—fast-talking and cheerful. Literally his first words to me were, "Hello? Who is this? Who's calling me? I don't really know anyone outside of the institution but I'm kind of excited that I'm getting a call. I don't get calls very often. Are you calling to tell me that I've won something? Did I win something? Is it a free pizza? I love pizza! I prefer mine with pepperoni! When am I receiving my free pizza?" It took me a moment to calm him down and explain to him that I was a doctor and not a sweepstakes agent. His bubbliness kind of reminds me of a friend of mine at work. Funny thing is that she practically dragged me to a Panera to buy muffins and other goodies before I made the call._

_Anyways, I wish you all the best Tobias. Don't forget that nothing your father or Raphael say or do will ever change the fact that you're a good person. I'm sure that Benjamin will remember that. Have a nice day and good luck!_

_Sincerely,_

_Spencer_

Tobias was grinning widely as he reread the letter. Despite that he already knew what Spencer did for him, his zeal just increased exponentially; oh how he couldn't wait to tell him that his call had helped so much. When he writes to him, Tobias will make sure to fully express his thanks in the greatest way possible.

After all, Spencer had saved him.

Without his help, Tobias probably would've been suffocated by his own despair and depressing loneliness and he would've been forced to continue his life without Ben. It would've been like living life stuck in darkness without having sunlight for warmth and comfort.

A soft smile touched Tobias's lips—mere words of thanks would never be able to convey the limitless joy that overwhelmed his soul. Spencer had basically given him back his best friend, his amigo, his saving grace.

But of course he had to at least _try_ to express his gratitude.

Tobias asked the guard outside to bring him a pencil, some paper, and envelope and as he waited, a sudden chuckle escaped him; Tobias thought it was strangely delightful that he knows someone as interesting as Ben, especially when he considers himself so reserved. He recalled Spencer writing about what Benjamin first said to him and chuckled further. _Typical Ben._

Additionally he was somewhat amused to know that Spencer had a friend similar to Benjamin. He found it entertaining as he imagined someone tugging Spencer along to a bakery for muffins. Tobias wondered if it was the same woman that Spencer had apologized to. He'll have to ask.

After Tobias had written another letter and sent it through a guard, he carefully hid his new letter and sighed with content. Spencer is so good to him. What did he ever do to deserve the acquaintance of such a wonderful young man?

Tobias wasn't sure but he was glad that he had someone who cared enough to look after him—someone who accepted him as he was and regarded him with consideration.

Tobias unconsciously shook his head in wonder. Again…_what_ did he do to deserve the privilege of knowing Spencer?

* * *

A few days later, Reid was sitting at his desk looking over some paperwork that involved a case with a serial killer who scalped his victims. Progressively he was growing ill and disgusted by the crime scene photos so he thought it was high time he deserved a break. Almost instantly, Reid stood up and walked to his employee mailbox. Within these past couple of days, Reid had been impatiently waiting to receive a letter from Tobias, anxious to hear if anything's changed between him and Benjamin. Personally, he hoped that his call at least will change Benjamin's perception of Tobias.

He really hoped for the best.

Once he approached his mailbox, Reid grabbed its contents and scanned them. His eyes lit up with delight when he noticed that he has another letter from Tobias. Leaning against the wall, he unsealed the envelope and began to read.

_Dear Spencer, _

_Thank you! Thank you so much! Thank you for that call to Ben, Spencer! It means so much to me! And it really helped fixed things between us! Thank you! I could thank you a million times yet it will never be enough to express my gratitude towards you! Thank you!_

_Because of you, Benjamin and I are friends again! Before I started writing this, I happened to meet up with Ben in the cafeteria and we started talking. Spencer, I'll admit that I was nervous; I didn't know what to say and I hadn't received your letter yet so I wasn't aware of your call. Somehow I managed to be brave enough to approach Ben and I apologized on behalf of my father, coincidentally what you had suggested in your letter._

_Benjamin forgave me and he told me about how you called him. He said that you had explained things to him and now he understands me better and that he was willing to be friends again, despite my father and Raphael. It made me so happy! It's a great feeling having my friend back and knowing that he gets me! Thanks for explaining things to him, Spencer! Don't worry about revealing too much on what I've done; for the most part, Ben knows already. Besides, I'm glad that you told him. It's better that you talked to him rather than me trying to._

_I'm actually kind of happy that you had a chance to speak to Benjamin. It's like you two are meeting one another. I'm not surprised by how Ben answered the phone; it's just like him to answer so quirky-like and he does love pepperoni pizza. What did you think of him?_

_It's funny how you said in your letter that you happened to have a friend that has the same level of energy as Ben. Is she the same girl you had apologized to or is it someone different? Either way, she sounds interesting. Why did she drag you to Panera's for muffins? Was it for a special occasion or was it just for fun?_

_Anyways, thanks for calling Benjamin! You don't know how much it helped me! Thank you Spencer! Now things are back to normal with me and Ben! We talked and he agreed that he'll keep his distance if Father or Raphael happens to be around. To be honest, I'm not afraid of either of them getting angry at me for hanging out with Benjamin—I don't really care. They can't force me to do anything I don't want to anymore, especially if it's to stop talking to Benjamin. He's a great friend and I'm lucky to have him. And I'm really lucky to have you too, Spencer. Ever since you visited me that day, things have gotten better for me. I actually don't mind staying here anymore. Thank you for being so good to me! I know I don't deserve it but it means a lot to me! Thank you! May God bless your soul._

_From, _

_Tobias_

Reid was grinning with exuberant delight as he reread the letter several times. When he had read the first sentence, Reid couldn't resist whooping for joy, an action completely foreign to his normally reserved character—some of the other FBI agents of the building even stared at him as his yell of excitement rang throughout the area.

The young doctor was beyond overjoyed to hear that things were okay between Tobias and Benjamin. He was relieved that they had talked and that Benjamin had forgiven Tobias. He was confident that Benjamin would understand, especially when he highlighted the fact that Tobias has split personalities.

When Reid had called Benjamin, he had introduced himself and then explained Tobias's situation as best as he could; Reid discussed his condition, briefly went over what caused it including Charles Hankel's abuse, and then skimmed over the murders committed by 'Charles' and 'Raphael'. Reid was uncertain whether or not telling Benjamin about the Dilaudid was invasive and rude but he decided that it was best to at least give a concise overview so that the other man could fully comprehend Tobias's case.

Now that Benjamin is able to see Tobias in a brighter light, the two can uphold their friendship without any limitations.

Other than 'Charles' and 'Raphael', anyways.

Frankly Reid was still uneasy about Tobias's personalities dominating him but something about Tobias's statement of being unafraid of their judgments managed to put aside his fears for the time being. Something about the way he phrased it gave Reid hope. Tobias seemed determined and even somewhat passionate about not letting 'Charles' and 'Raphael' restrict him from associating with Benjamin.

Maybe Tobias was slowly starting to gain the strength to stand up to his 'father' and the 'archangel'.

That thought made Reid smile.

He sure hoped so. It would be nice if Tobias somehow regained control of his own personality or at least was able to rise against his other unwanted personalities.

Yes, that would be nice.

Warmed and eager by the idea, Reid placed the letter back in the envelope and walked back to his desk. He has to write back to tell Tobias that he's happy for him. After all, from what he's heard Benjamin seems to be a good influence on him.

Reid couldn't help but chuckle to himself. He sounds like a concerned parent.

And yet even though he's not a parent, he _is_ concerned for Tobias and he wants to help him in any way he can.

As Reid sat down at his desk, he mentally went over treatments for dissociative identity disorder. Although there wasn't a cure, there was temporary relief.

Like Tobias's medication, for instance.

Sure, Tobias claimed that his medicine makes 'Charles' and 'Raphael' 'go away' but that's merely temporary.

Reid was looking for something a bit more permanent.

He thought for a moment. Maybe therapy could work.

Generally yes, but Reid had a feeling that it would make Tobias uncomfortable to have to talk to a complete stranger about his personalities…which he wasn't even aware of.

Utterly stuck and a bit frustrated, Reid sighed and absent-mindedly looked at the case files in front of him. If only there was more he could do to help Tobias, but the best he could do is to just continue writing to him.

From what he could tell, Tobias seemed to be doing a bit better with every letter.

Now _that_ made Reid smile.

No matter what, he'll always want to write letters to Tobias and he hopes that Tobias will write back every time—he enjoys hearing from the man.

Reid unconsciously released a dry chuckle.

He found it interesting that over a year ago, he had been afraid of Tobias as he was kept prisoner in that shack. He wanted nothing to do with Tobias the moment he was rescued and wouldn't have cared if he died in prison. Heck, he even tried to _shoot_ him for Pete's sake!

But now, Reid cares for Tobias and is on friendly terms with him.

He's come a long way since when he was handcuffed to that chair. He's more sympathetic and understanding towards the victims of the BAU's cases since he can truly empathize with them; he now knows what they felt, what they thought and he can help them cope.

Additionally he's realized just how determined and resourceful he can be and how his intelligence really _does_ pay off.

It saved his life.

Reid couldn't help but notice that Tobias has come a long way as well—the agent can easily tell by his letters and by the conviction in his last one. The Tobias he knows now is much different from the Tobias he knew then. Tobias is gradually realizing his own beliefs and is gaining the confidence to firmly stick to them.

Without realizing it, they've both been helping each other throughout the time they've known each other, through written and spoken communication—they've been giving each other strength, support, and motivation.

Of course they still have some ways to go but maybe within time, they can both be stronger, better human beings.

And they can do it together—one day at a time.

* * *

**I know, I know, that was a bit boring but I assure you that it was completely necessary. Sometimes there needs to be filler chapters or else the story would be too fast and confusing.**

**Anways, I hope that you liked that I put in two letters! Albeit two short letters but two letters nonetheless...**

**I hate to say it but these will most likely be the last letters for this story. Sorry :P**

**Thanks for reading! Have a nice day! Bye! :D**


	16. The Crossroads of Time and Fate

**Hey there! So here's another filler chapter. Don't worry though, the next one is definitely more interesting and you'll probably figure out why once you're done reading this one ;)**

**Thank you guys ****_so_**** much for the response to the last chapter! I'm surprised yet flattered that you all are liking the letters! :D**

**Makes me feel kinda bad about stopping them...**

**Disclaimer: Blah, blah, blah I don't own Criminal Minds or anything you recognize, yadda ya**

**Warnings: indirect spoilers to season 2 "Revelations", ****_definite_**** spoilers to "Nameless, Faceless"**

* * *

One year, four months, three weeks, and five days passed in a flash.

Or at least it seemed that way to Tobias.

Compared to when he spent in the institution directly after being brought in, it had been a hellish nightmare where time was as sluggish as a fat snail full of honey. Now ever since he started communicating with Spencer, Tobias felt that time went at a much more suitable pace and even went much too fast for him.

Yet he enjoyed almost every minute of it.

Despite that he was still a prisoner of the institution, Tobias actually didn't mind it so much anymore. Things have gotten so much better in time that it's almost unnatural.

After all, it was only over two years ago that Tobias had helped his own father and an archangel murder sinners. Of course he still hasn't forgotten that but now he's come to slowly accept that it wasn't his fault and that the situation was just too much for him to handle. He didn't murder those people—Father and Raphael did.

The only thing he's done wrong is allow them to do it but Spencer and Benjamin have convinced Tobias that it doesn't make him a horrible weakling—it just makes him human.

And that's all Tobias could ever ask for.

As mentioned before, things have gotten better for him at the institution. With Benjamin's friendship and Spencer's letters, life was tolerable and worth living. Tobias felt that he finally had people he could talk to, people he could relate to, people he could call his friends.

Benjamin is wonderful. He accepts Tobias for who he is and enjoys hanging out with him regardless of his past. His cheerfulness brightens Tobias's day while Tobias keeps Ben's emotions on track. They balance each other out and they get one another—they each watch one another's back.

With each passing day they grew closer and their bond strengthened. They were practically inseparable and if one was kept in his respective cell room, the other felt empty.

It seemed that each day they found something new to do and even their regular activities were different. Eventually they actually finished that picture book they started on and it looked amazing. Though Tobias felt that his writing style -in short- sucked, he was proud of himself for accomplishing something so simple yet so rewarding. Once that book was done, he and Ben did others and even just some quick comic strips for their enjoyment.

Tobias and Benjamin became best friends and they had fun basically every day. Even when they did nothing, it was a great day. They often found themselves laughing at little things or even nothing at all.

Benjamin brings out the lighter side of Tobias that he once thought was permanently destroyed.

Unfortunately, Father and Raphael were unsurprisingly furious. Father often yelled at Tobias for associating with a 'heathen' while Raphael claimed that Benjamin was a 'venomous sinner' that 'perverted and tainted the word of God'.

But Tobias refused to let them get to him and he talked and hung out with Ben whenever he wanted. He'll admit that at first he was afraid of Father's rage but he gradually began to not care and he stuck to his convictions. He started to ignore Father's angry statements and rants and if Father ever struck him out of frustration, he would merely hold his own until a guard restrained him and gave him medication.

Although Tobias was still afraid of his Father, he refused to let that fear dominate him.

As for Raphael, the archangel didn't do anything relatively violent and would only reprimand him for his 'insolence'. Otherwise though, he couldn't do much.

Sometimes both Father and Raphael came by whenever Tobias and Benjamin would hang out and as agreed, Ben would leave them alone until they either left on their own or when Tobias (or the guards) got a handle on them. Unfortunately though, both would occasionally manage to insult or berate Benjamin before he was able to leave their area of sound and it left Ben depressed. Tobias would always apologize afterward if that ever happened and Benjamin always forgave him even if his depression sometimes held him back for a few days.

Otherwise though, things were much better and tolerable at the institution.

And of course Spencer contributed to this.

His letters were like gifts that Tobias looked forward to every couple of days. It was nice to hear from Spencer and the two communicated as often as they could. Spencer was constantly looking out for Tobias while the other man was eager to hear from him. The two had a written conversation about anything and everything: Spencer sometimes talked about his friends or his job while Tobias mentioned Benjamin or how life was at the institution.

So yeah, life wasn't that bad. For the first time in a long time, Tobias was content.

For once in his life, he wasn't alone and he was grateful to be alive.

* * *

Spencer Reid smiled to himself as he waited at the Las Vegas airport for his flight back to Quantico. He was resting his injured leg on the plastic chair next to him, thankful that it wasn't bothering him. He had his luggage placed on the seat on the other side of him, keeping a wary eye on it. Reid hadn't bothered having it stored in the plane—it was just one baggage and his shoulder bag and he felt that he could carry it by himself.

Despite that it was more or less difficult to do while using crutches.

Man how Reid _hated_ crutches and how he hated getting injured.

Not that it wasn't worth it -he had saved a man's life- but it proved to be a minor inconvenience during his trip back home.

He had been visiting his mom these past couple of days and he was satisfied with her condition. He was delighted that she recognized him the first time he visited Bennington's.

_Reid had walked into Diana Reid's room and smiled when he found her reading a book. He used his crutches to make his way to her. She looked up and smiled at him when he approached._

_"Hello Spencer! How are you, baby?"_

_"I'm fine mom." Reid managed to give her a hug and he placed his crutches on the ground as he sat down in the chair next to her._

_Before he could say anything, his mom briefly frowned and commented, "Oh don't give me that, Spencer. It's obvious that you're injured. What happened to your leg?" She looked at him with concern and Reid sighed; he was hoping that his mom wouldn't worry about his leg. It was healing splendidly and it didn't hurt so much anymore._

_"Nothing mom," he said with dismissal wave of his hand, "just a little trouble in the field. I'm fine. I-"_

_"What _kind_ of trouble in the field? What happened, Spencer?" Diana insisted with a determined expression in her eyes. Reid knew that there was no way that a vague answer would cover it._

_Taking a deep breath, he replied, "It's not as bad as you think, mom. I just got shot in the knee while on a case. The Unsub had tried to shoot the man he was targeting but I blocked the shot. Don't worry—I'm alright."_

_Diana looked at her son and assessed him, trying to determine if he was holding anything back. Reid couldn't help but somewhat appreciate that his mom was lucid enough to thoroughly observe him; it was a relief._

_After a moment, Mrs. Reid nodded and remarked, "You know I find that job of yours very dangerous. That man could've killed you!"_

_Reid was about to say that he wasn't dead and that she shouldn't worry about him but Diana had softly added, "But I'm glad he didn't and knowing that you got injured to protect another person makes me very proud of you, Spencer." She then wrapped her arms around Reid for a hug which he warmly accepted._

_"Thanks mom."_

_She smiled at him and then grew serious again, "But do me a favor, baby, and don't be so reckless! I'm sure your team could've handled that situation without having you get injured! Be careful while you're out there Spencer!"_

_Reid smiled knowingly. Every time he visited, his mom always fretted about his safety…and the fact that he's so thin. She _always_ told him that he didn't eat enough (it's not _his_ fault that he has a high metabolism and is often too busy to eat)._

_Reid could easily refer to the automatic, protective bond between a mother and her child that bloomed as early as the fetal stage to explain his mom's maternal instincts but he didn't—no amount of human psychology could ever describe let alone convey how much he loved his mom. And knowing that she loved him more than anything was all he could ever ask for._

_"I hope your job doesn't force you to do anything that could further ruin your knee!" Reid grinned at the parental tone in his mom's voice. "I want you to heal as effectively as you can! You need to take care of yourself Spencer! I mean look at you—you're so thin! Do you remember to eat? And a cup of coffee doesn't count! I mean a real meal, Spencer, with real food!"_

_Reid chuckled and the two talked further until visiting hours were over._

The young profiler smiled to himself. It had been a good few days. He visited his mom a couple of more times afterwards and he enjoyed every moment he had with her—even if she had some bad moments when he was there.

Reid sighed. At least she's been doing well.

Now it was time for him to head back to Quantico.

After he had gotten shot, Hotch had insisted that he take a few days off to start healing properly. Reid was very reluctant and kept insisting that he was fine and that he wouldn't do anything too physical but eventually conceded once he managed to get Hotch to take a few days as well.

He could use it after what had happened with Foyet.

Reid unconsciously shivered and attempted to forget Hotch's critical condition after being slowly, brutally stabbed nine times. He had looked awful sitting helplessly in a hospital bed, trying to appear strong yet underneath was just as shaken as everyone else. It had been hard seeing his fearless unit chief so…defeated and worried sick for the family he indirectly put in danger. What _exactly_ did Foyet tell him that night he attacked him?

The young profiler shook his head; try as he might, his eidetic memory refused to let it go.

"The 10 a.m. flight to Quantico, Virginia will be leaving in approximately half an hour. I repeat: the 10 a.m. flight to Quantico, Virginia will be leaving in approximately half an hour. Thank you." Reid looked up at the electrical boarding list after the woman had spoken on the loudspeaker. That's his flight—he still had some time.

But what to do?

Sighing to himself, Reid dug through his luggage and found Dante's Inferno. Although he's read this 13 times, he enjoyed the book. Opening it up to where he last left off, Reid began to read.

Fifteen minutes passed and Reid was close to finishing. He was literally on the last page when the woman on the loudspeaker spoke up again, "Attention everyone the 11 a.m. flight to Atlanta, Georgia has some extra seats available." Almost instantly Reid's focus left the book and zoned in on the woman's words.

"If you happening to be flying to Georgia and would like to switch your flight for this earlier one, then come on down to the main desk and we'll gladly transfer you for no extra cost. Hurry now before you miss the chance to arrive at Atlanta early. Thank you."

A small smile twitched at Reid's lips. Atlanta, Georgia.

A couple of years ago hearing the name of that place would've made Reid tense with unease. But now, not at all.

Reid thought about Georgia and a specific person who currently resides there; it's been a few days since Reid last heard from Tobias.

He had managed to send out a letter before he came back home so Reid could only assume that Tobias has gotten it and written back by now. That letter is probably waiting for him in his employee mailbox right now.

Reid couldn't wait to hear what Tobias has to say—he enjoys hearing from him and he seems to be doing better this past year. Reid smiled at the conveyed contentment of Tobias. He was happy to see the other man happy.

Reid wondered what Tobias happened to be doing at the moment. Was he was having lunch, was he hanging out with Benjamin, was he in his room…what was he doing?

The young agent was briefly released from his thoughts when the woman announced that his flight was leaving in about five minutes.

Well time to go.

Gathering his luggage, Reid began to make his way towards the entrance gate. But just as he approached the entry something compelled him to stop and look back towards the main desk.

Some strange invisible force tugged him and urged him to go there. Suddenly Reid felt conflicted. It immediately became apparent just how close Atlanta was.

It was just a transfer away…

Reid unconsciously shook his head. He can't go to Georgia—he has no reason to.

Except to visit Tobias.

As that thought occurred to him, Reid straightened up and mused over the idea.

Well…why not? He doesn't have a reason _not_ to visit him. He still has some vacation days and the team didn't expect him back for another few days. They'll never have to know that he went to Atlanta, Georgia.

Besides, it would be nice to see Tobias—to personally see how he was doing.

The more Reid thought about it, the more appealing the idea became. Yes, he should go visit. He has the time and he imagined that Tobias would be delighted to see him.

Yeah, he should definitely go.

Feeling somewhat giddy, Reid turned around and headed for the main desk. He waited for a few moments in line and heard over the loudspeaker that his flight to Quantico just took off.

Well, there's no turning back now.

Not that he really wanted to anyway.

When Reid reached the front desk, he was lucky enough to receive one of the last seats available. Grinning to himself, Reid made his way towards the boarding gate to Georgia and sat down in one of the seats with his stuff around him.

So he was going to Georgia—how spontaneously marvelous.

However despite his excitement, there were two things that concerned him.

One: since Reid was visiting Tobias, it highly possible that he was going to see 'Charles' and 'Raphael' again.

Reid stiffened and almost instantly remembered the last time he visited Tobias.

The memory of 'Charles' still left a terrifying imprint on him and Reid unconsciously wrapped his arms around himself.

Going to the institution in Atlanta again almost guaranteed another encounter with 'Charles' and maybe even 'Raphael' too.

Reid swallowed nervously and felt his breathing quicken. The thought of 'Charles' yelling at him and _grabbing_ him again made him sick with fear. And what if this time 'Raphael' decides to make an appearance? Reid could hardly imagine himself keeping it together if he showed up. The archangel's unnerving apathy and deadly calm produced the same amount of terror as 'Charles's' short temper and violent rage.

Several scenarios raced through Reid's mind and all of them ended up horribly. But before he could be consumed by his rising panic, Reid forced himself to mentally get a grip and he counted until he grew calm.

He kept telling himself that nothing was going to happen to him and that there will be guards. Nothing bad will happen. Things will be fine. Besides, there _is_ still a chance that Tobias's personalities won't even show up at all.

Reid repeated this logic to himself until he finally relaxed. Yes, everything will be alright. His visit will go smoothly, like how it did last time despite the minor complications.

Feeling more at ease, Reid instead focused on how Tobias was going to react at his unexpected visit. Thinking of that put Reid completely at ease for the time being and he eventually settled into his seat to wait until his flight was called.

Which led up to concern #2: Reid had nothing better to do on the plane ride.

He was done with all the books he brought so what else was there to do?

Well, he could buy some more at the small gift shop nearby.

…Why not?

Shrugging a bit, Reid struggled to get up and made his way over to the shop. It was pretty basic but at least it had some decent books. He scanned the shelves fairly quickly and grabbed a couple of books that he figured would keep him entertained for a while—he even took a book that taught sign language.

As Reid was ready to pay for his purchases, a lone book resting on one of the shelves caught his eye and he instantly snatched it up. After all, he couldn't resist buying this one.

It was Crime and Punishment.

And he couldn't wait to start re-reading it.

* * *

**I really hope you guys liked this chapter! I liked writing about Diana Reid! She's one of my favorite minor characters and she's so awesome in the show! They need another episode with her! :)**

**I'll try and update soon! Bye! :D**


	17. Alive and Reawakened

**Okay I'll admit it, I'm excited about this chapter!**

**I would like to personally acknowledge Hinata001! Thanks for the amazing comments you put in your review! You truly are outstanding and your ideas are brilliant! Sorry I haven't gotten back to you on your PM but I was afraid that what I might say may give away the end. Besides, your suggestions have got me thinking... ;)**

**Disclaimer: I still don't own Criminal Minds or anything recognizable**

**Warnings: indirect spoilers to season 2 "Revelations", ****_major_**** spoilers to season 5 "Nameless, Faceless"**

**By the way, just so no one is confused, I melded Tobias and Reid's point of views together. Though I'm sure you can figure out who's thinking what anyways. So if I combined the points of view, you know what that means...**

* * *

"You know what game I haven't played in a while—Uno. I haven't played Uno in years. Have you ever played that game, Tobias? I love that game! Do you think they have Uno cards here? Oh I hope they do! I love Uno!"

Tobias lightly chuckled as Ben rambled on. The two of them were settled in the 'activity center' and were playing Solitaire.

Benjamin was a master at this game—he's beaten Tobias every time since they started playing but Tobias didn't mind. Today was a really good day. He hasn't seen Father or Raphael in over a week so there hasn't been any trouble in days. And to top it off, Ben seemed to be doing well today. He's been in a cheerful mood all day and not once has he been touched by the black hand of depression or slapped by the red fist of anger.

Things have been going fairly well and Tobias was in a good mood. It was as if the world somehow felt lighter.

"Uh, to tell the truth Ben, I've never even heard of Uno. What is it?"

Benjamin brightened and said, "Oh it's such a fun game! You have a deck of colored cards and you have to keep placing them down based on if the color or the number matches!" He paused for a moment, "Wait…that's not a good way of explaining it. Okay, so you have a bunch of random cards with different colors and numbers and the object of the game is to get rid of all of yours before the other players do. And to get rid of them, you have to place them down based on if the card before you is the same color or number…does that make any sense?"

When Tobias shook his head apologetically, Benjamin pouted, "Of course it didn't! I'm not a good teacher and that's why I never became one! I think I was always meant to be a pharmacist…or maybe a card dealer in Vegas. But instead I turn out to be a manager in a supermarket. Well, not anymore anyways. Isn't it funny how things work?"

Ben stared thoughtfully into space for a moment and Tobias waited patiently for him to come back to reality, smiling knowingly.

Then Benjamin blinked into awareness and commented, "Yeah…I was meant to be a pharmacist living in Las Vegas who worked nights as a casino card dealer. Now that's an awesome life! Anyways, I think it's better for me to show you how to play Uno rather than trying to explain it. Maybe the guards have some Uno cards."

He looked around the area and spotted a guard that happened to be walking towards them. "Hey! Mr. Guardsman! Do you have Uno cards?! Does this place have Uno cards?! Could you get us some Uno cards please?!"

The guard was at first stunned by Benjamin's fast paced questions but immediately recovered himself, "Um, no we don't have Uno cards. Well at least not that I know of."

Turning away from Ben's disappointed sulk, the officer looked at Tobias and asked, "You're Tobias Hankel, right?"

Slightly startled at being addressed, Tobias nodded and the guard continued, "Alright, you have a visitor. Come along." He gestured for Tobias to follow him and after a moment's hesitation, Tobias got up from his seat.

Benjamin's eyes went wide with excitement and curiosity, "Oooh you have a visitor! Lucky! You didn't tell me you were expecting anyone Tobias! Who is it?!"

Tobias shrugged, "I don't really know—I'm not anticipating a visit from anyone." He turned to the guard, "Who's here to see me?"

The officer thought for a moment then shrugged, "I don't remember his name but I think he said he was a doctor…from Virginia I think."

Almost instantly Tobias grinned and became enormously thrilled. _Spencer's here?! What a nice surprise!_

Recognizing Tobias's enthusiasm, Ben perked up and commented, "A doctor? Cool! Is it that one doctor you've told me about?"

Too enthralled to speak, Tobias could only nod and Benjamin beamed with joy, "Awesome! Tell him I said 'hey'! And afterwards, you're gonna have to tell me how it went! I want every detail when you get back!"

Tobias smiled, "Of course Ben. I'll see you later!"

"Bye!"

Then Tobias allowed the guard to escort him to the visiting room. Even as the officer had to chain him to table like the last time, Tobias didn't mind and was left alone as he happily waited for Spencer.

He wondered how the young man was doing and what possessed him to come all the way out here.

Well no matter the reason, Tobias was more than glad to see him.

Just then the door opened and a guard walked in escorting a male brunette wearing a white-collared shirt and brown sweater vest with dark pants and black converse sneakers.

"Hello Spencer! This is a delightful surprise!"

Reid grinned at the older man and greeted him, "It's nice to see you too Tobias! How are you?"

He gave the guard a reassuring look and then the officer left them alone, throwing a wary glance at Tobias before leaving. Turning back to Tobias, Reid made his way over to the chair across from him and sat down.

It was then Tobias noticed the crutches. His brown eyes widened slightly and he responded, "I'm alright. What about you? What happened?!" He looked at Spencer with concern.

Reid waved his hand to dismiss the subject, "It's nothing, Tobias. I just had some trouble on the job and got shot. I'm alright." Reid was hoping that Tobias didn't worry too much about him—it was hard enough convincing his mother than he was okay.

Tobias appeared startled, "Shot?! Spencer, that's a serious injury! Are you sure that you're okay?" The thought of someone shooting Spencer made Tobias grow cold all over. He knew the pain of getting shot and he hated that Spencer has to feel it for himself.

He doesn't deserve that.

"Of course I'm okay. I got shot a little while back and I've been healing ever since. Seriously Tobias there's nothing to worry about. I'm fine." Hoping to completely reassure the older man, Reid adds, "I wouldn't be travelling if I wasn't."

Tobias took a moment to assess the young man in front of him before slightly easing the tension in his shoulders with relief. "Well alright, if you say so. Are you in pain?"

Reid briefly hesitated before replying, "Well not today. I'll admit that on occasion my knee does hurt but it's not that bad. Today I just happen to got lucky and my knee's not acting up. But don't worry about me, Tobias, I'm okay, really. I'm taking some time off of work to heal properly and I should be back in a few days." Noting the shocked look on Tobias's face, he quickly puts in, "But I'm not going to do any field work—I'm just going to hang back at headquarters and work the case from there. I'm not going to be doing any strenuous activities for a while. Besides, my team wouldn't let me if I wanted to."

Tobias fully relaxed and smiled at Spencer, "Well that's good, I suppose. If you don't mind me asking, how did you get shot? Or is that confidential? I'm not really sure how the FBI works."

Reid returned the smile, "No it's okay—I can talk about it. A few weeks ago my friends and I searched for a killer near Quantico. The Unsub, uh suspect, was seeking revenge on a doctor that had been unable to save his son after a car accident. The man had managed to locate the doctor and tried to shoot him but thankfully I was able to block the shot before he could kill him. Then I talked to the man for a while until my team showed up to arrest him. It was a hectic case but we managed. We always do."

Tobias looked amazed, "You risked your life to save another man? Spencer that's…that's so courageous of you! Weren't you scared?"

Reid thought for a moment before nodding, "I was but I was too focused on that doctor's safety to really think about it."

"Wow, that's amazing! Not that getting shot was amazing but risking your life like that is very noble! I don't know how you do that Spencer; it's mind-blowing! I'm just happy though you're alright."

Gently smiling, Reid responded, "I appreciate your concern, Tobias—it's really nice. But let's not focus on me right now; I'd rather hear more about how you're doing. How are you?"

"Oh I'm doing alright. Things have gotten better for me over the years. What with you writing to me and Ben's friendship, I've never been more content."

Reid brightened a bit, "That's good, that's excellent. How's Benjamin doing?"

Tobias chuckled, "He's fine, the same as always. He says 'hello' by the way."

Reid grinned, "Well next time you see him tell him that I said 'hi' back. Is he doing okay? How are his mood swings?" Over the year, Reid constantly checked on Benjamin through his and Tobias's letters. He wanted to make sure that things went well between them and that Benjamin didn't flip.

But thankfully he never got out of control from what Tobias has accounted.

Tobias grew sentimental, "Ben's mood swings are the same as usual. But today he seems to be doing really well. In fact, he really wants me to play this card game called Uno. Have you ever heard of it?"

Tobias warmed slightly as Spencer chuckled—it was nice to see the young man at ease. "Yeah I have. I haven't played that game in a while. In fact, the last time I played was with my co-worker's son. The game's based on basic strategy and yet Jack somehow managed to beat me every time. It's a really fun game though. You should give it a shot with Benjamin sometime. I guarantee you'll enjoy it."

"Well that's good, but I don't think we'll be able to play it; a guard told us a while ago that the institution doesn't have Uno. It's a real shame—Ben was looking forward to teaching me."

Spencer offered him a sympathetic smile, "It sounds like Benjamin really enjoys that game. If you want I could buy you guys a deck later and bring it tomorrow."

Tobias perked up, "You'd be willing to do that for us?" When Spencer nodded, he smiled and said, "That's very generous of you, Spencer. Thank you! Ben will be so happy when I tell him! Are you sure it's not too much trouble?"

Reid shook his head, "Not at all. I'm pretty sure I can find a convenience store around here that sells them. Considering the popularity of the game, it's very unlikely that I _won't _find them."

Tobias nodded, "I guess—if you say so. I've never even heard of the game. It's nice of you to get it for us if you can. How long are you going to be here?"

Reid thought for a moment. In all honestly, he hadn't decided how long he planned to stay in Atlanta—he came here on impulse. "I don't really know yet—maybe for a couple of days or so…depending on if I'm called in for a case or not. To tell the truth though, I'm not sure. It was sort of a last minute decision to come here."

Tobias tilted his head in a curious manner, "Really? You didn't come here just to see me, did you?"

To his surprise, Spencer nodded with a grin, "Yeah, I did. Like I said, I'm taking some time off and I thought it would be the perfect time to come and see how you're doing."

Tobias smiled gently, "Why thank you Spencer. That's very considerate of you."

"Yeah, no problem." Then Reid grew slightly uncomfortable. He didn't want to bring up this part of the conversation but he felt that it was necessary. "Which reminds me…how are doing with your father and Raphael? Are things still…complicated?"

Instantly Tobias grew uneasy when Spencer mentioned their names. Even though the institution has been tolerable, he still gets unnerved and frightened by them. "Um…yeah, things are still complicated. I'm still left alone once I take the medication but other times they're still there. Both of them hate it here and they don't like Ben or the other inmates—they always call them 'demon-possessed heathens' or other things along that line. They especially can't stand Ben and they always express their disapproval of me talking to him. But like I said, they can't ruin our friendship. Whether or not they like it, we still hang out."

Instantly catching on Tobias's softly suppressed determination, Reid instantly puts in, "Good for you, Tobias. You shouldn't let your father or Raphael tell you that your friendship with Benjamin is wrong—it isn't. You have every right to have friends and they shouldn't find anything wrong with that. It's good that you're not letting them control your life—you're your own person Tobias. Never forget that."

Smiling at the light force in Spencer's voice, Tobias said, "I'm glad you feel that way—I'm glad that at least _someone_ is on my side. Sometimes it's hard to go against Father and Raphael since there's two of them and only one of me. But I'll admit it has gotten somewhat easier over time."

Reid nodded with understanding, "That's good Tobias. It really is. I'm thrilled that you're taking the initiative. Not many people have the strength to do that."

Tobias's smile grew lighter as he softly replied, "Thank you Spencer. Thank you so much—for your words, for your letters, for your concern…everything. I know I don't deserve it seeing that I've done nothing but wrong to you but I appreciate everything you've done for me. You'll never truly understand how much this means to me. Before I ever met you, I was dead inside. All the hope and faith I had in me had been shattered but somehow you've managed to have it reborn in me again. I-I feel…alive. Thank you."

The young profiler was momentarily speechless. He never thought he had such an impact towards Tobias and now that he knows the magnitude of it, it was astounding. Reid didn't know what to say; he felt…honored.

Reid has spent many years working for the BAU and deep down he knew that his help has made a difference, that it often saved lives.

But it's never felt this personal before.

Right in front of him was a mentally disturbed man who was haunted by murderous personalities that dominated his thoughts and actions without him realizing it. And yet somehow Reid's communication with this man has slowly given him power against his personalities, against his own mind.

Of course Tobias still has some work to do since he doesn't have full control or confidence yet he's off to a good start. With the right amount of time and a firm grasp of hope, Tobias might someday be able to break free from 'Charles' and 'Raphael's' command.

Reid was elated that he was able to help Tobias accomplish that. More than anything he wanted to support and encourage his friend.

Reid smiled to himself. Tobias Hankel is his friend. He finds that fact completely ironic yet wonderfully amazing. Who would've thought?

Tobias was a bit confused when he saw a tender, slightly nostalgic smile form across Spencer's face as he seemed to be thinking of something.

What on earth could he possibly be thinking? What part of Tobias's statements made Spencer so sentimental?

He didn't expect his words to have that much of an impact—he was merely stating the truth.

But it was nice to see Spencer smile like that.

In fact, Tobias was delighted over how the conversation was going so far. Not once has Father or Raphael interfered and the conversation was relaxed as it flowed with ease.

"You're welcome Tobias." He came back to reality at Spencer's voice, "I'm…thrilled that I've had such an impact on your well-being. But I can't take all the credit: I know Benjamin has been an amazing friend to you and you have yourself to thank as well. Your…spiritual revival has occurred also because _you_ allowed it to. Even without me or Benjamin, I believe you've always had the strength to regain your life again. I think we just helped you find it but _you_ reclaimed it."

Tobias considered Spencer's words for a moment. Has he always had willpower? He didn't really think so. But it was nice that Spencer thought so.

He smiled at the younger man before him, "Thank you Spencer for everything you've ever done for me. I appreciate it more than you'll ever know."

Reid felt his smile grow soft, "You're welcome."

* * *

**So does anyone like how visit number 2 went? :)**

**I hope you guys enjoyed this because visit number three is going to be...well I'll let you form an opinion on that later ;)**

**Another chapter down and only a few more left! Thanks a million for reading! Bye! **


	18. Playing the Devil's Hand

**Hey there and welcome to another chapter of To Live and Let Go! I hope you guys liked the previous chapter because this one has some more surprises! ;)**

**Just a quick heads-up: the point of views are going to switch around a bit but the lines in-between should distinguish the characters's thoughts. Just saying...**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Criminal Minds or Uno :P**

**Warnings: brief spoilers to season 2 "Revelations"**

* * *

Spencer stayed and talked with him until visiting hours were over. He and the young agent talked about everything and anything. Tobias talked about Ben while Spencer talked about his friends back in Quantico. They traded stories and laughed about good times—it was nice.

When it was time for Spencer to leave, he promised Tobias that he'd be back tomorrow with a deck of Uno cards. Although Tobias was slightly disappointed to see him go, he was pleased by the fact that Spencer was coming back the next day.

It would be great if they could have the chance to talk again.

Or maybe Tobias could even ask the guards if Spencer could join him and Ben when they played Uno. After all, Tobias has always wanted Spencer and Ben to officially meet. He had a feeling that they would like each other.

* * *

The next day immediately raced up and Tobias found himself waiting enthusiastically for Spencer's arrival. He had already informed Ben that the young agent was bringing Uno cards and his friend was beyond enthralled. When the two met up for breakfast that morning, Benjamin was still in that good mood. Tobias smiled as he babbled on about how much fun Uno was and how Tobias will enjoy playing.

"It's nice of Dr. Reid to get us those cards." Tobias returned Ben's grin as they ate some cream of wheat. "I mean it's not every day that a doctor gives you cards instead of something like a shot or a blood test." He shuddered at the thought.

Tobias chuckled, "Uh I don't think Spencer is _that_ kind of doctor. I remember once he told me that he had three doctorates so he's certified as a doctor but he doesn't do medicine or shots or stuff like that."

Benjamin grinned happily, "Good! Do you know when he's coming?"

Tobias shrugged, "I'm not sure. I assume that he'll come at visiting hours."

Benjamin beamed with joy, "Cool! When you see him, tell him that I personally said thanks! Do that for me will ya?"

Tobias lightly chuckled and nodded, "Sure thing Ben, but I think it would be better if you told him yourself."

At Benjamin's quizzical expression, Tobias adds, "I think it's possible for Spencer to play Uno with us if he can. I asked a guard and he said that it was okay as long as Spencer wanted to. Of course we'll have to be watched but otherwise he could join us. Is it okay if I ask him to?"

Honestly, Tobias wasn't sure if Benjamin wanted Spencer around or not. Sure Tobias sensed that Ben had some sort of respect and liking towards Spencer, but he could only assume that it stemmed from his own fondness of the young man.

Any doubts Tobias had instantly disintegrated as Benjamin broadly grinned, "Of course it's okay! Why shouldn't it be?! I'd love it if Dr. Reid played Uno with us! I've been dying to meet him since forever! Well not forever but you know what I mean! Ask him! Maybe he'll say yes! I hope he says yes!"

Tobias loosened his shoulders with relief, "That's good. I'll ask him when he gets here. Hopefully he'll have time."

* * *

Like he predicted, Reid managed to find a standard deck of Uno cards without trouble. He purchased them at a store near his hotel and he happily took them with him on his way to the institution. He couldn't wait until he gave them to Tobias.

When he arrived at the institution, he immediately claimed that he wanted to visit Tobias Hankel. The guards seemed to recognize him from yesterday and immediately began to escort him to the visiting room. However, he was surprised when they were heading in an unfamiliar direction. Before he could inquire about the change, he and the guards walked into a massive area with several tables and benches.

Reid breathlessly took in the startling amount of people lounging about the room. Why on earth would the guards bring him here?

When he looked to them for answers, one of them met his gaze and gave him a reassuring smile, "I know what you're thinking but no we're _not_ in the wrong room. Welcome to the institution's general visiting area, Dr. Reid. This room is for families of the inmates who want to visit for an extended amount of time. The room we usually take you to is for quick or private conversations."

The young profiler looked around the room and assumed that the people around the inmates were family or friends. They all were doing something different: talking, laughing, reading, coloring, eating, etc. Of course there were numerous guards around who kept a wary eye on the prisoners despite that they were around familiar company.

Reid furrowed his brow in confusion, "Then why bring me here? I prefer my visits with Mr. Hankel be kept in a more solitary location."

"Yeah we know," the other guard put in, "but Hankel asked if the two of you and another inmate, Benjamin Richardson, could play a round of cards or something. It's fine with us but we'll be monitoring you every moment and the two of them will be in handcuffs; you'd be completely safe. It's up to you, though—you don't have to stay or anything and if you want we could forget the cards and just place all of you in a private room to talk."

Reid barely registered the guard's words as it occurred to him that Tobias wanted him to play Uno with him and Benjamin. He only came to talk with Tobias and drop off the cards but to actually take part in the game…that was unexpected.

If he plays then he'll meet Benjamin which both excites and makes him slightly uneasy. After all, he was already somewhat wary of 'Charles' and 'Raphael' suddenly returning, despite their absence yesterday, but Reid wasn't sure how to deal with someone with mixed bipolar disorder. What if he said something that inadvertently set off Benjamin?

Well he shouldn't have to worry since the guards will be around and of course Tobias will be there. He's had experience with dealing Benjamin's mood swings so Reid doesn't doubt that he'd be able to calm him down if things get out of hand.

So what does Reid have to worry about?

Turning to the guards with a smile, he declared, "No that's okay—bring them in. I believe I owe them a deck of Uno cards." He then held up the boxed deck with a grin.

* * *

Tobias beamed with joy when some guards told him and Ben that Spencer had arrived. Then the two of them were led into a huge room with several other inmates and other random people he didn't recognize.

At first he was a bit uneasy with so many people around but Ben's cheerful demeanor managed to anchor his nerves.

Then of course his mild apprehension vanished when he saw a familiar hazel-eyed young man sitting at a table with a small red box in his hands and a pair of crutches leaning against the table.

Upon seeing them, Spencer smiled and stood up with his hand outstretched, "Hi Tobias. It's nice to see you again."

Tobias took Spencer's hand and gave it a light shake, "It's nice to see you too Spencer. I'm glad you're back."

Then he looked at Ben and said, "Spencer, this is my friend Ben, Ben this is Spencer."

Benjamin eagerly shook Spencer's hand and remarked, "It's nice to finally meet you Dr. Reid! Do I call you Dr. Reid or Spencer? I don't know—I'm not really good with formalities. Anyways, Tobias had told me some things about you and they're all awesome! I know it's been a while but thanks for calling me that day to tell me about Tobias! I appreciate it! So where did you say you're from?"

Tobias chuckled as he watched Spencer blink at Ben's buoyantly fast questions. He figured it'll take some time before the young man got use to Benjamin's zeal.

After a moment, Spencer recovered himself and replied, "It's nice to meet you too, Benjamin, Tobias has mentioned you often. You can call me Dr. Reid or Spencer—it doesn't matter, whatever you're comfortable with. Um, I'm glad that the things Tobias has told you about me are all nice and you're welcome in regards to that phone call. I must say it was interesting talking with you, especially with how you greeted me. And I'm from Quantico, Virginia."

Tobias was somewhat amazed that Spencer was able to remember all of Ben's questions and comments; it's taken him a while to be able to adjust his focus so that he catches them without missing them.

Benjamin seemed impressed as well and he looked to Tobias, "I like him."

Instantly Tobias chuckled and Reid smiled with delight. "Thank you Benjamin, I appreciate your approval." Then he smiled slyly and held out the deck of Uno cards, "I was informed that you liked Uno. Do you want to play?"

Benjamin instantly beamed with the enthusiasm of a child, "Oooh you did bring them! Let's play! But first we gotta show Tobias how it's done! Have you played this game, Dr. Reid? I think I'll call you Dr. Reid since it sounds cool that I know an actual doctor. That's okay, right?"

Reid lightly laughed and responded, "Of course. And yes I have played Uno before. Would you like to get us started and shuffle the cards for us Benjamin?"

Almost immediately Benjamin answered, "Heck yeah I do!"

* * *

Today was so far the greatest day Tobias has ever had. Together Spencer and Ben taught him how to play Uno and Tobias was surprised by how easy it was.

And how fun it was.

Spencer had been right when he said that the game required basic strategy but Tobias caught on quickly and was soon forming plots on how to get rid of all his cards before Spencer or Ben did.

They were having a wonderful time.

They were currently playing their fifth round and Ben was in the lead. He had three cards left and was striving to lose them. Tobias had eight left but Spencer had about a dozen.

It was his turn—the card was red with the number 7.

He placed one down: 7 green.

Spencer's turn. He looked at his deck before selecting one: 2 green.

Ben's turn. He eyed his deck before playfully frowning and grabbing another card from the other deck. Unfortunately the card wasn't green or a 2. He grabbed another one before facing it down: it was a wild card with 'add 4'.

"Sorry Tobias, but I gotta get 'Uno' somehow." He grinned good-naturedly and Tobias mirrored it before grabbing four cards from the other deck.

"I won't forget that one, Ben. You better watch it." They all chuckled at his 'threatening' tone.

"What color, Benjamin?" Spencer inquired.

Ben thought for a moment, "How about…blue! Yeah I love blue!"

Chuckling to himself, Tobias found a card and placed it on top of the wild card: 5 blue.

As Spencer took his turn, Tobias thought about how he was going to get Ben back. _Maybe I'll use my 'reverse' card to skip Ben. No wait, I have an 'add 2' card. But it's yellow. Darn! What else do I have?_

Suddenly amidst his thoughts, Tobias felt a cold knot of dread slam him in his stomach. He blinked, startled for a moment.

_What was that all about?_

But before he could reflect on it, he suddenly sensed that someone had joined them. Someone with an aura of divine power…

Tobias's eyes instantly widened.

_Raphael!_

He was proven correct when the archangel appeared next to him, watching the game with a blank expression.

_Oh please no…not now!_

However Spencer and Ben didn't notice his presence and were looking at Tobias expectantly, waiting for him to put down a card.

"Can't find a card, Tobias?" Spencer lightly remarked with a smile.

Raphael then turned his attention on the young man and answered before Tobias could, "What sort of unholy ritual are you doing?"

* * *

Almost instantly Reid's smile shot down and he paled as he realized that the archangel was here. At first Benjamin was confused but then he took a good look into Tobias's eyes and then knew. His own eyes widened with uncertainty as his gaze nervously flickered from Tobias to Reid.

Reid felt his heart pound with fear as the poisoning realization of 'Raphael's' appearance sunk into him. He was immediately assaulted with past images of the archangel pointing a gun at him and playing Russian Roulette to decide his fate.

Oh god…no.

* * *

**...Does this count as a cliffhanger?**

**Heh...well then if it does...my bad. Sorry, I had to make a cut or else the chapter would be too long.**

**More to come of this conversation in the next chapter! Stay tuned! :)**


	19. Cannot Be Broken

**Hello amazing readers! Wow, you guys blew me away with your response to the last chapter! Thanks for your support! I'm seriously glowing right now! :D**

**Whew...I'll admit that this chapter took me forever to write! I had massive writer's block and I had gotten stuck halfway through! Funny thing though: a while ago, I heard the song "Sympathy for the Devil" on the radio and I swear that on that same day, my writer's block disappeared! I will not lie, it just hit me! The words just came to me and I typed away like crazy! Awesome, huh?!**

**Disclaimer: Sigh...**

**Warnings: language, mild violence, angst, major spoilers to season 2 "Revelations", mentions of drugs**

* * *

That knot of dread only tightened as Tobias noticed the light tremble radiating through Spencer's body and the shocked expression on Ben's face.

Seeing that Spencer wasn't going to respond, Raphael continued, "Playing the devil's hand and performing a demonic ceremony ensures your passage into hell and will burn your soul in the most accursed manner."

_Spencer, Ben…please leave! Get out of here and get a guard!_

Unfortunately, Tobias was forced into silence due to the archangel's holy, immortal form.

Spencer still hadn't said a word and was seemingly transfixed as well.

Then Tobias felt another stab of dread as Raphael's normally phlegmatic expression seemed to shift slightly to one of recollection as he scanned the young man's face closer.

His gut twisted when the archangel stated, "You're the sinner from the cabin." It wasn't a question for confirmation—it was a declaration.

Raphael recognized Spencer.

* * *

When 'Raphael' fully addressed him, Reid flinched. His mind yelled for him to leave and send for an officer but remainders of the past clung to him like a monster with vicious tentacles. A part of him was still strapped to that chair in that desolate shack and he felt just as helpless as before.

He faintly felt the cold metal bindings of the handcuffs trapping his wrists and restraining him to that chair; no matter how hard he pulled, the leather strap connected to it wouldn't let up. He tugged numerous times to no avail, trying to get free, trying to escape that hellish nightmare. He tried for hours on end but it only made the metal dig further into his wrists. He was forever bound to that chair, only free to move when 'Charles' moved or shoved the chair.

In that moment, Reid felt as if he was restrained in that chair again, the old familiar panic slowly crawling up to greet him.

He couldn't move.

* * *

Raphael stared coldly at Spencer and continued, "I was told long ago that you came here—that you tried conforming Tobias again. You think that escaping your fate gives you the right to proceed with your sinning but in reality it only adds on to your punishment—now you will be mercilessly condemned to hell where you belong."

At that moment, Spencer seemed to break out of his daze and stuttered, "N-no…R-Raphael…I'm not conforming Tobias or-or anyone. I-"

"You don't have to explain yourself, Dr. Reid." Benjamin interjected as he kept a wary eye on Raphael, "You're not a sinner and you know it. Let's just go and leave…Raphael be."

The archangel turned his attention on Ben, "Don't think you're excluded as well. It's apparent that you've been possessed by the devil -I've known the moment I've seen you- and you will be expelled into Lucifer's fiery, godless home when the time is right."

Benjamin's eyes widened but then sobered. Seeing that familiar ember of oncoming depression, Tobias instantly managed to break his silence, "He…he doesn't deserve to go to Hell…neither of them do! R-Raphael I swear to you that they've done nothing wrong. They're not sinners. They-"

"You only say that because you don't know any better." Raphael turned to Tobias as he interrupted, "Your father's right—you're ignorant of the evils around you and you let them manipulate you. Have you no sense or shame, Tobias? It's obvious that these two are demonic spawns of Satan. Why do you continue to associate with enemies of God?"

Tobias blanched and attempted to regain his composure, "They're…they're not enemies of God!"

"And how would know that?" Raphael interrupted again with an edge of impatience, "You have no proof that of their supposed purity."

"And _you_ have no proof of their wickedness! You only accuse of them of sinning when you don't even know them! You're a hypocrite and yet you call yourself a servant of God!"

Tobias stiffened as the archangel looked taken aback. Spencer and Ben still appeared shocked at Raphael's unexpected appearance but at Tobias's exclamation, they seemed more so.

For a moment, no one moved or said a word. Raphael blinked a few times as trying to comprehend what Tobias had just said. Tobias himself couldn't believe that he said what he said either.

He's never spoken so boldly to Raphael before.

* * *

Reid watched the exchange between Tobias and 'Raphael' with a familiar sense of dread. Already he had images of how this conversation was going to end up. He recognized Tobias's trepidation and the superiority and frigidness in Raphael's responses and knew that in the end, Raphael was going to win this argument.

Until Tobias said that last statement with a slightly shaky yet adamant tone.

The fragile strength in Tobias's voice fully shook Reid into reality. He _wasn't_ back at the shack, he _wasn't_ a prisoner of Tobias's personalities, he _wasn't_ tied to that chair, and he _wasn't_ a sinner.

No, those days are done—Reid wasn't about to allow himself be trapped and seized by the trauma of his kidnapping. He's beyond that now and he's accomplished so much after over two years. He's moved on.

So he shouldn't be afraid of 'Raphael' anymore.

* * *

"He's…he's right, Raphael." Tobias, the archangel, and Ben looked at Spencer, surprised that he had spoken. "B-Benjamin and I aren't sinners—well at least not _your_ definition of sinners. I-I won't lie and say that I haven't done anything wrong; I've done some…things in my life that I'm not proud of and I'm sure Benjamin can say the same. But the fact is, we're not alone—everyone has. Every individual has committed sins but that doesn't mean that they're demons or heathens; it makes them human. No one is pure…not even you."

Spencer took a breath after making those statements so rapid with passion despite the initial hesitation and uncertainty that had caused the mild stuttering. Tobias's mouth went agape as his eyes dilated.

_Did Spencer just…?_

Tobias was both startled and amazed as he took in Raphael's appalled expression and Ben's impressed one. Tobias had the sense they felt the same as he did except maybe Raphael was more rattled with agitation.

The archangel recovered from his shock and instead frowned at Spencer, "How dare you accuse me of impurity! I am one of God's loyal followers and I am uncorrupted by mortal sins! I-"

"Have killed people!" If Tobias had been surprised when Spencer spoke up, he was even more so when Ben unexpectedly did. Even the young agent looked a bit astonished for a moment before slowly smiling slightly with approval.

Catching the archangel off guard, Benjamin continued, "Face it Raphael, you say you're pure but you're not! Tobias has told me that you killed innocent people because they 'sinned'. That's wrong! Tobias is right—you _are_ a hypocrite, especially if you call us sinners but think you're not when you're a murderer! You're a sinner as well as a jerk!"

Then Ben turned to Tobias, "No offense or anything to you personally Tobias."

_Why would I take offense to that? Raphael and I aren't close._

Well no matter—Tobias was more stunned by the fact that both Spencer and Benjamin were standing up to Raphael so brashly…for him.

No one's ever done anything like that for him before.

Gradually Tobias felt his heart swell with emotion. They care for him; they care for him enough to stand up for him.

Tobias felt a jolt of pride as he realized that Ben was keeping a firm hold on his emotions and that Spencer was talking back to Raphael—one of the people who made his life a living hell over two years ago.

He was as proud as he was moved.

But the moment was ruined by the arrival of Father.

* * *

Once Benjamin stood against 'Raphael', Reid gained some confidence. Benjamin's statements were out of the blue but they helped give power to Reid's own proclamations. The young profiler could see how astounded both Tobias and 'Raphael' were but saw that Tobias seemed touched. Then slowly his posture became more secure and Tobias's eyes gleamed with pride and admiration.

Reid felt a surge of hope begin to expand in him as he realized the possibility of Tobias finding his own strength to take control of 'Raphael'.

But that hope was shot down execution style when Tobias's face shifted into annoyance and anger and he spoke in a new yet familiar voice, "What the hell's with all the yelling about?!"

'Charles' decided to make an appearance as well.

* * *

_First Raphael now Father! Now what do I do?!_

Tobias flinched as Father glared at both him and Raphael. "What's the matter with you, boy?! Are you being defiant against Raphael?!" Father briefly paused to frown at Tobias who was unable to speak due to his shock over his father's sudden arrival.

He attempted to utter a word when Father snarled, "He's a servant of God! You must follow his word if you wish to follow God himself!"

Tobias didn't dare to breathe and only looked back at Father, somehow mustering up the courage to gaze into the eyes that have burned him with their scorn for so many years. He didn't dare to look at either Spencer or Ben, hoping that they'll decide to leave instead of remaining here. Defying Raphael was one thing, but even _thinking_ of going against Father would be suicide. He internally begged that they would sneak away so that Father wouldn't see them and project his wrath onto them.

Besides, it was difficult enough dealing with Father as it was but having those two around would just make things considerably worse. After all, Father has more than often expressed his disdain for Benjamin and has frequently tried to intimidate Tobias into abandoning his friendship with a 'possessed devil'. Of course, Tobias refused to and it outraged Father beyond his normal level of anger. Sometimes it was hard for Tobias to keep strong and remain defiant.

And it was obvious that Father hated Spencer, that much was clear during his last visit; _and_ not to mention that he tortured and momentarily _killed_ the young man when he was captive in that hopeless shack.

Now with both the young agent and Ben here, there's no telling what Father would do to them.

All Tobias knew was that it was going to end ugly and possibly bloody.

* * *

Reid couldn't breathe as he recognized the irritated scowl and enraged growl in Tobias's voice.

No, that wasn't Tobias (consciously)—that was 'Charles'.

Although Reid will admit that both of Tobias's personalities scare him to death, out of the two of them, there was no contest that 'Charles' was the more frightening one.

Reid could think of 5 logical reasons that supported this fact:

1) 'Charles' was -_is_- much more abusive and threatening despite that 'Raphael' was the murderer of the video-taped crimes belonging to a lifetime ago.

2) 'Charles's' temper outrivaled 'Raphael's' apathy and lack of feeling or expression by a long shot. Face it: 'Raphael's' callousness was unnerving, yes, but it was nothing compared to the murderous glint of fury in 'Charles's' eyes.

3) Refer to #1—'Charles' seems more willing to torture than 'Raphael' was. Sure the archangel did some psychological torture and the murders he committed were brutal but at least they were brief and quick. Reid remembered the beatings he received from 'Charles' were seemingly endless—especially when his bare foot was severely beaten _with a log_.

4) 'Raphael' was easier to placate with talks of the Bible whereas 'Charles' saw right through the tactic and punished Reid for it. Of course 'Raphael' wasn't easily mollified at first but at least it worked once when Reid really needed it…

5) The worst reason of all—Tobias has a thinner control of his 'father' than he does of the 'archangel'.

Reid didn't have to say aloud that Tobias was more afraid of his 'father' than 'Raphael'; not only was it obvious but it was a horrifying fact that dulled Reid's initial nerve and unearthed old fears.

In front of him was his nightmare revisited.

* * *

Out of the corner of his eye, Tobias noticed that neither Ben nor Spencer moved from their seats, both rigid with fear inflicted by past, scarring experiences with Father.

_Please…both of you…leave…go get help! I can't have him hurt either of you._

Tobias was jarred from his thoughts when Raphael spoke up, addressing Father, "You ought to have a firmer control of your son. He continuously associates himself with sinners and heathens of the like and they in turn manipulate him to stand against me. They just did right now."

Then to Tobias's horror, Raphael gestured to Spencer and Ben and Father turned to look at them. Spencer flinched under his gaze while Ben cringed slightly. "You remember the sinner from the FBI, correct? He's back as you can see. And of course Tobias still talks with the heathen next to him. Before you came, they both rounded against me and insulted both me and God with their blasphemy."

Tobias's stomach dropped simultaneously as his heart leapt in alarm. _Oh no…_

Father looked furious as he sized up Spencer and Ben who stared back at him wide-eyed. "You two again?! I thought I made it clear to both of you that you cannot talk to my son! You dare defy me _and_ you insult the Lord and an archangel! I'll kill you both!" When he menacingly leaned forward, both Spencer and Ben instinctively shifted backwards yet remained in their seats, almost frozen.

"F-father, don't! They…they weren't insulting God nor Raphael! They were only standing up for me! I swear that they weren't speaking of any sort of blasphemy!"

Father glared at him, "Don't you lie to me, boy—lying's a sin! You know that! And don't you dare call Raphael a liar! He is an instrument of God! He's an archangel of pure holiness that outmatches you by far! He has just as much power over you as I do! Remember that you ungrateful waste of life!"

* * *

Reid could only watch with immobilizing horror as Tobias argued with his 'father'. Flashes of hiding in that whispering, foreboding cornfield collided with that well-known angry voice—Reid was instantly brought back to when he first heard 'Charles' verbally harassing Tobias, unaware that he wasn't real at the time.

Currently watching Tobias shrink into himself as his 'father' viciously bullied him caused that memory to meld into it. This time was almost no different from that same scene from years ago.

And it sparked a flame of anger within the young profiler.

Something about witnessing yet another moment with Tobias's personalities aggravated Reid more than his usual exasperating fear and frustration. But why should it? This was no different than all the other times that Reid was caught between Tobias with either 'Charles' or 'Raphael'.

But yet it was.

Maybe it was the fact that 'Charles' and 'Raphael' will always restrain Tobias from reaching his true potential for strength—they'll always hold him back with their chains of intimidation, fear, and apprehension.

Or perhaps that it was because Tobias has come so far only for his personalities to try and screw things up for him yet again.

Or maybe it's because Reid was tired of someone constantly pushing around his friend like if he was a useless being without feelings.

Yeah, it was a combination of all three yet the last one fueled more of the oil to the fire.

* * *

"What the hell sort of devil has possessed you to dishonor me, boy?!" Father grew angrier by the second while Tobias grew more uncertain and fearful for his comrades. They still haven't moved and Tobias was worried that Father might try to hurt them—again.

"I-I…"

"It seems that my years trying to convert you to the path of righteousness have been wasted! Should I rip out your demon heart and replace it with the cross of Christ?! Is _that_ what I have to do to get you to listen to me and follow in God's heavenly footsteps?! _Is it?!_"

Tobias flinched at the threat as well as being attacked by the memory of his younger self screaming in pain as his father burned a cross onto his head. Even now he could still feel the agony of that searing white heat bleeding into his flesh as a permanent curse to symbolize his sins.

He was removed from his remembered trauma when he heard Benjamin moan slightly with illness, probably at the thought of ripping out hearts like vampires.

Almost instantly Father swung around to glare at both him and Spencer, "I thought I made it clear to you heathens that your godless souls aren't welcome here! Get the hell away from us before I send you both to Hell early!"

Benjamin flinched slightly and went rigid. Tobias could easily sense his fear and apprehension at the situation and foresaw a gloomy forecast in his future.

He was just about to say something when a firm voice stated, "No."

Once again Spencer managed to catch everyone off guard by speaking up. Father appeared beyond furious and he looked ready to explode but Spencer continued, "Why should we leave, Mr. Hankel? We're not bothering anyone here except for you apparently. But Benjamin and I aren't here to see _you_—we're here for our friend Tobias. You can't make us leave and we don't want to leave anyways. We're not hurting anyone and we're most certainly not causing any 'blasphemous' trouble. So why don't you just let us be and leave Tobias alone."

As Spencer's words sunk in, Tobias was torn by conflicting emotions of fear and pride. Though he was faintly impressed by Spencer's bravery in standing against Father so boldly, he was downright terrified of the consequences.

Father seemed almost flustered as he registered the fact that the young man had actually demanded that he leave while Raphael raised in eyebrow in what appeared to be surprise.

Father's voice contained a tone of deathly steadiness as his glare intensified, "What did you just say to me, boy?"

Unfazed, Spencer coolly responded, "I asked that you leave. If you don't like having me and Benjamin here, then why don't _you_ just go?" He paused before he added, "The same goes for you, Raphael."

The archangel blinked, stunned at being addressed. Then to Tobias's shock and amazement, Raphael actually left, fading away into a mysterious, divine mist.

_He…he actually left._

* * *

Reid felt his heart beating faster by the second as he strived to keep 'Charles's' gaze. The same eyes that bore into him were the ones that had angrily judged him and glared him down with ruthless hatred over two years ago.

Those were the eyes that penetrated his soul and rattled his core, shaking his hope and testing his willpower.

Those were the eyes that regarded him with intense disdain from the moment they met.

Those were the eyes that held no remorse, no life as he was cruelly beaten with a log, hit over the head with the butt of a gun, or struck down with merciless fists.

Those were the eyes he stared determinedly into when he had the single-bullet gun in his hand, prepared to fight for survival to his very last breath.

Those were the eyes that haunted him in his nightmares for several months after his rescue, taunting him, terrifying him until he made them go away with that cursed drug Dilaudid.

Lifeless eyes, callous eyes, eyes full of hatred and hopelessness, eyes without happiness, eyes that withheld everything that represented all the bad in the world.

Eyes that he was somehow managing to stare back at, unflinching, refusing to back down. Reid would be lying if he told himself that he wasn't afraid—he was. He was scared of 'Charles' and with every good reason.

But he was determined to face him, to not give in to his fear.

Gideon's voice suddenly echoed through his head.

_You are stronger than him. He cannot break you._

Then Tobias's firm yet desperate voice followed after, arguing back.

_Listen to me, it's not worth fighting._

Reid unconsciously shook his head and for a moment he was in the graveyard again, aiming the gun at 'Charles'. The only thing on his mind was to get out of there alive and to see his family and friends again.

Yes it is. It always has been.

* * *

Tobias flinched when 'Father' suddenly slammed his fists on the table and leaned in threateningly towards Spencer, "How dare you talk to me that way, boy! Trying to give me orders and making demands! Who do you think you are—God?! Do you still think you're some kind of savior who can see inside men's minds?! You're nothing but a satanic little bastard! And I'll send you to Hell for it!"

'Father' made a move as if to strike Spencer but the young man just scooted his chair back out of reach, "I don't think so, Mr. Hankel. You don't have the power to do that nor am I willing to let that happen. Just face the fact that you have no control over me anymore and that you're losing control over Tobias. You're not as strong as you were before."

Tobias and Ben's mouths were agape, both in awe of the younger man, while 'Father' looked appalled and positively livid. Yet Spencer was entirely focused on his father, seemingly unafraid.

Spencer's hazel eyes held a familiar sense of determination and courage that struck Tobias with déjà vu. The graveyard, the gun, the single shot, the shared pain that followed afterward…all factors that eventually led up to the institution, to the letters, to Ben, and even to this moment now. It seems that if Spencer is ever afraid or in pain, he somehow gathers the willpower to stand strong and fight back its source.

It's a trait that Tobias can't help but admire.

"Damn, you tell him Dr. Reid!" Tobias turned his attention to Ben and was surprised to him grinning broadly at Spencer, his fear suddenly washed away. "You give that bastard what for! Throw his crap back at him!" He then turned to Tobias, "No offense Tobias."

_Um…none taken?_

Benjamin unexpectedly turned to Father, "Dr. Reid is right _Charles_," he spat out the name with loathing and disgust, "You're not that tough and you're not that scary! You're just a big jerk that bullies people! You just say things to seem big when in reality you're just full of pathetic crap! Why don't you just stop and leave Tobias alone! He's better than you and he doesn't deserve you pushing him around like a jackass!"

The feverish passion in Ben dimmed ever slightly when he turned to Tobias once more, "Um again, no offense Tobias."

Tense silence followed as Father mentally tried to recover; Spencer maintained a determined stature while Benjamin grinned wildly with resolution.

Tobias didn't know what to make of this. _First they stand up to Raphael and now to Father?! But…how? Why? Do they…care about me that much?_

His answer was confirmed as both Spencer and Ben stared down Father's famous menacing glare, an expression that would surely unnerve Lucifer himself.

The thought sparked a glimmer of inspiration and a revolutionary glow of courage within him.

Suddenly Spencer looked to him, "You're stronger than your father, Tobias. He has no right to control what you do and you have the power to do as you please. Neither he nor Raphael has control over you since you're your own man. You have a mind of your own and you can live your own life. You're stronger than them, Tobias. They cannot break you." Benjamin hummed his approval as his grin widened further.

Tobias let Spencer's words fully sink in before he allowed himself a smile. _He's…right._

All of sudden Father released a noise of frustration and unexpectedly lurched forward and seized Spencer by the arm! The young man gasped in surprise and instinctively tried to pull away. Ben's grin vanished and was replaced with a shocked, horrified expression as his eyes widened fearfully. Tobias's heart leapt in alarm as a familiar sense of dread slammed into his stomach.

Ignoring their reactions, Father completely focused on Spencer as he painfully yanked the young man forward, sending his thin body crashing onto the table and his crutches toppling to the ground, "You damned son of a bitch! You're tainting my son's mind with conforming, demonic lies again! How many times must you repeat that shit before you burn in Hell! I'll personally drag you there myself if you continuously defy me! _I will kill you!_"

Spencer blanched and cried out, "No! Not again!" before unexpectedly striking out at Father, hitting him across the face! Father shouted in pain as his nose bled but his grip didn't let up.

Instantly reminded of Spencer's last visit, Tobias felt time stop. _No, no, NO! Leave him alone!_

"Let him go!" Tobias's hand shot out and grabbed father's arm, trying to pry it from Spencer using 110% of his strength. Benjamin reacted immediately and grabbed Spencer by the waist and pulled the other way. Within a moment Father was forced to release the young man and Spencer and Ben stumbled backwards from the force.

The profiler was breathing heavily but otherwise seemed uninjured. Tobias restrained his struggling, furious father, "Father, stop it! Leave Spencer alone! He-"

He was unprepared when Father turned around and punched him square in the jaw. Gasping from shock rather than pain, Tobias reflexively held his face.

Father was seething with fierce outrage, "HOW FUCKING DARE YOU DEFY ME! YOU _NEVER_ TALK BACK TO ME! NEVER! IF I TELL YOU NOT TO LISTEN TO THIS DEMON BOY OR ANY OTHER HEATHEN, THEN I EXPECT YOU TO OBEY ME! BUT INSTEAD YOU'RE STANDING WITH _THEM_, AGAINST _ME_! YOU'RE GOING TO SUFFER FOR DISHONORING YOUR FATHER!"

By now the guards in the room were aware of the conflict and were quickly trying to bustle out the other inmates with their families, one of them calling for a doctor on his communicator.

However, Tobias was unaware as he stared at his father dead in the eye. Something within him stirred and prompted him to calmly reply, "You're not my father. You're just the man who happened to marry my mother and raise me."

Charles blinked in utter shock and even Spencer and Ben seemed caught off guard. _Where did that come from? _

Oh yeah, over thirty long years of abuse, fear, and feelings of worthlessness.

No more—never again.

Gradually Charles's face contorted with white hot anger that oozed with black hatred. Then he threw out his fist for another hit.

Only for Tobias to easily dodge it and block the one that followed.

A shriek of frustration howled from Charles but before he could try again, almost immediately the guards were upon him. It took four to grab him and hold him back and another three to keep him from attacking Tobias.

Spencer and Benjamin watched with widened eyes, no longer afraid but amazed and stunned. For a moment Tobias and Spencer's eyes met and locked gazes. An understanding passed between them and the young man's lips slowly turned into a small smile of pride.

Tobias smiled back.

Soon other guards came in and led Spencer and Benjamin away. Ben protested, wanting to stay and support Tobias. Spencer didn't want to leave either but reluctantly went with them.

Charles kept fighting the guards, struggling in their grip and shouting out profanities that shook the Devil's abysmal home. Tobias merely watched and waited for the usual doctor to come in with their medication.

Sure enough, a licensed man in a white coat strolled in carrying a needle filled with a clear, liquid serum. Wordlessly Tobias held his arm out. However he was skipped over and ignored as a guard forcibly rolled up Charles's sleeve instead, seeing him as the bigger threat. The man yelled out angrily and fought harder, only for the needle to come in contact and prick his skin.

It was only a matter of time before the weariness sinks in and unconsciousness will catch them both. Tobias waited patiently until he felt the usual tired sensation fill his senses and his limbs and mind began to relax. Simultaneously he noticed the fight in Charles begin to lose its edge as the medicine took its hold on him.

Tobias welcomed the darkness that blissfully took him.

* * *

**Whether or not this turned out okay, I'll admit that I'm proud of myself!**

**Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to give my sister her birthday present. Yay for her! I hope she likes the Naruto manga book I got for her :)**

**Thank you all so much for reading! You guys rock! :D**

**P.S By the way, one more thing, this is the second to last chapter of the story. So the next chapter is the end of the story.**


	20. Nevermore

**(Does a double take) Oh my gosh! You guys are awesome! Your response to the last chapter was...THANK YOU! I'm flattered that you guys liked this! Thank you! :D**

**Okay so uh, happiness aside, I believe you're gonna hate me for the next two things I'm about to say:**

**1) I said that I was going to discontinue something but my surprise for this chapter will prove me a liar.**

**2) This is the last chapter for the story. Yeah I should've mentioned it earlier but I sort of forgot. Sorry... **

**Disclaimer: Only in my wildest dreams**

**Warnings: brief, indirect spoilers to season 2 "The Big Game" and "Revelations", brief references to drugs**

* * *

Tobias awakened to calm silence.

Hours later he woke up in his bed with his wrists handcuffed. He felt groggy, his head hurt, his jaw ached and was probably bruised, his wrists were seized by metal fingers, and his arm stung slightly.

And yet he was content and at peace.

His heart beat steadily with rhythm as he observed that he was alone in his room. No father, no Raphael, no one.

Though he was satisfied with being by himself, Tobias was disappointed and a bit dismayed that it meant that Benjamin was back in his room and that Spencer was gone, probably even heading back to Quantico. Before Raphael and Charles's appearance, he was having a great time playing Uno and laughing with his friends, not a care in the world.

But it _had_ to be interrupted.

Tobias heavily sighed as he leaned against the wall. Well it was fun while it lasted.

As Tobias recalled every detail of earlier, something occurred to him that made him perk up. It wasn't a complete waste of time: he watched his friends stand up for him and he himself stood up to his father.

Tobias felt himself smiling as he thought of himself looking into Charles's eyes and finding the courage to finally defy him. For well over thirty years Tobias could only look into those eyes with fear or not meet them at all.

He was afraid of Charles, afraid of disobeying him not only because he was scared of going to Hell but because he was afraid of his own father. He had been tormented for years by cruel, verbal reprimands and unforgiving fists that punched him, backhanded him, and struck him even when he was down.

For years he felt worthless and weak, all because of the man that was supposed to love and care for him. Instead of affection, he received abuse and misery. And what's worse was that during all that time, Tobias believed him Charles's words and he obeyed him out of duty and fear rather than love and devotion. For years he believed that he would never know true happiness and he truly felt that he was already living in Hell, a nightmare he can never escape or seek solace in.

But not anymore. Now Tobias has Spencer and Benjamin, his source of unlimited happiness. They both treat him like a human being and they care for him. Together, they pulled Tobias from his never-ending loop of darkness and Hell and had shown him kindness, warmth, and friendship.

And they had shown him something else today: loyalty and strength.

Both of them had stuck by him despite that they each had beyond frightening encounters with his father and Raphael, particularly in Charles's case. They had steadfastly remained at his side regardless of their respective fears of Tobias's 'companions'. Benjamin had even managed to keep his emotions in check in spite of the surrounding mist of apprehension, hate, and heated spirit.

Tobias knew that he and Spencer cared for him but today he witnessed just how much they do.

They had truly proven themselves to be loyal friends.

And of course they had also revealed strength. Both Spencer and Benjamin demonstrated fortitude while standing against Charles and Raphael. Tobias has lived with the two of them for years and not once did he dare defy them out of fear. And yet somehow both of his friends had found the courage to do so.

That must've been the key that motivated him to follow their example.

Tobias smiled with content; he did it, he actually did it—he challenged his father and Raphael. It was funny to think that over two years ago Tobias would've panicked at the thought. But now, he knew that wasn't the case anymore. Now he was stronger, now he was braver, now he was better than that broken creature that pathetically curled into himself a lifetime ago.

Now Tobias was truly content; he was free.

He knew now that he had the willpower to oppose his father and Raphael and that they had no control over him. No—he was his own man and he made his own decisions. Tobias doesn't have to listen to them or fear them anymore—_they _were sinners, not him.

And Tobias was determined to make sure that they won't take his resolve ever again. It may not be easy but if Tobias was able to hold his own against them once, then he surely he has the means to do it again.

* * *

Reid currently sat in his rental car, parked outside the institution. He hadn't moved since the guards had escorted him out nor did he plan to leave for a while.

He didn't want to.

He had tried to protest when the guards led him and Benjamin out of the room as they handled Tobias but he knew it was futile. So instead he _very_ reluctantly chose to give up and let them usher him away.

Benjamin had loudly protested and was complaining about wanting to be there for his best friend. Reid reassured him that Tobias was going to be alright and that 'Charles' wasn't going to hurt him. It took a while to calm Benjamin's frantic state but eventually he relaxed and begrudgingly accepted the fact.

The guards were about to lead Benjamin back to his room but they allowed him to say a quick good-bye to Reid first. Benjamin had looked the profiler in the eye and said, "Dr. Reid, what you said to Tobias…err his personalities back there was amazing. It was so cool how you told them to back off. I've been hanging out with Tobias for years but I've never gotten the nerve to tell them that myself until now. Thanks for being there for him."

Then he unexpectedly gave Reid a quick hug before he smiled and waved good-bye. Reid waved in return, softly smiling to himself, until the officers had taken Benjamin out of sight.

The guards had asked Reid numerous questions about the situation: was he alright, did Tobias hurt him, what did he say to him, and of course, what happened. Reid had been slightly irritated when he was practically interrogated but informed them that he was fine. Shaken, but fine.

After a while, they were satisfied with his answer and suggested that he leave. They also not-so subtly hinted that it would be a great idea if he didn't return for a few days. Reid was frustrated yet nevertheless left.

He drummed his fingers against the steering wheel and mulled over the day's events. He was still blown away by it all: 'Raphael's' reappearance, Reid standing up to him, Benjamin joining him, 'Charles's' reappearance, Reid somehow finding the nerve to go against _him_ and having Benjamin back him up, 'Charles' grabbing him _again_, and finally Tobias's conviction to defy his 'father'. The entire incident was…mind-blowing.

Reid couldn't help but be a bit proud of himself for defending Tobias, Benjamin, and himself against 'Raphael' and 'Charles'—he never thought he would ever have the courage to do so.

But yet, something in him had struck a chord. He had enough of Tobias's personalities controlling him and he felt it was high time they backed off. Reid felt good that he went against the two…beings that tormented him and Tobias for so long. It felt good to talk back to them and not be afraid.

Something then suddenly occurred to Reid: he wasn't afraid of 'Charles' or 'Raphael' anymore.

Reid briefly choked with disbelief before a huge smile tickled his cheeks. He wasn't afraid of Tobias's personalities anymore—he proved that by standing up to them today.

A swelling bubble of joy erupted from within Reid as his smile grew impossibly brighter: _he wasn't afraid anymore._

When did _that_ happen?

A relieved, delighted chuckle flew from Reid as he eased back in his chair. After two long years, he finally conquered his nightmare and wasn't afraid. He hasn't been this happy since he officially quit Dilaudid.

Stilling grinning widely, Reid looked at the institution and wistfully became sentimental. He wondered what Tobias could be doing now. The guards had given him some medicine so Reid could only assume that he was currently resting. But was he alone?

…Most likely.

Reminders of 'Charles' and 'Raphael' brought Reid back to his earlier thoughts. It still astounded him that Tobias managed to defy his personalities and Tobias's words to his 'father' in particular rang through his head.

_You're not my father. You're just the man who happened to marry my mother and raise me._

That was very…unexpected yet amazing. Reid was shocked by Tobias's boldness yet enthralled that he had managed to speak up and oppose 'Charles'.

Needless to say that it was remarkably brilliant.

Sure it was great that Tobias put 'Raphael' in his place too but it seemed like a stronger victory with 'Charles's' case. Maybe it was because Charles Hankel had single-handedly ruined Tobias's life. His abuse molded Tobias into an insecure, timid, self-hating person who was forced to stop thinking on his own. Charles taught Tobias fear, pain, suffering, cruelty, despair, and detachment instead of fatherly love and the spiritual reawakening that religion provides.

No, none of that—just some of the worse things in life.

If it weren't for Charles's abuse, then Tobias wouldn't have become such a forlorn individual who was reduced into taking Dilaudid as an escape. In turn, this factored into the gradual fracturing of Tobias's mind that led to his extra unwanted personalities—personalities that stole his willpower and hope.

But not anymore—Tobias had finally taken it back. He had taken his control back. He had taken his strength back. He had taken his determination back.

And most importantly, Tobias had taken his life back.

He now had the strength and courage to live his life as he pleased without fear and apprehension to restrain him.

Reid couldn't fight the smile that overshadowed his initial one. He did it—Tobias finally regained his convictions.

And he could not be more proud.

Reid desperately wished that there was some way that he could see Tobias again so that he could tell him that personally. He knew though that the guards wouldn't let him back in.

Reid's smile fell as he growled in annoyance. He had mentally counted up his vacation days and realized that he was almost out of time and had to get back soon. If the institution guards would let him, Reid would return tomorrow and talk to Tobias one more time.

Well unfortunately _that's_ not going to happen.

Another growl escaped his lips before his shoulders dejectedly slumped. There was no way that he planned to leave without telling Tobias good-bye and that he was immensely proud of him.

Suddenly an idea came to Reid as he quickly grabbed his shoulder bag from the backseat and began to dig through it. Finally he found a sheet of paper and a pen and he quickly started to scrawl onto it.

He didn't stop until he had what he wanted on it.

Satisfied with his words, Reid went back to the institution, begged that one of the guards give the paper to Tobias, and went back to his rental once his request was consented. Then after a moment's hesitation, he put the key in the ignition and drove off.

From his rearview mirror, Reid watched the institution crawl away from him until it was out of sight. A small arrow of melancholy pierced through him. Though Reid knew that this wasn't a final good-bye, he couldn't help the feeling.

But he smiled slightly knowing that this wasn't the end seeing that they'll still communicate. Except something will be different in their letters, something about _them_ will be different. When they write to each other, they'll be writing as stronger, more confident men.

After all, they've both had their struggles, similar hardships that often coincided, and yet they've managed to conquer them with each other's help. Without Tobias, Reid would've never found the nerve to overcome his fears invoked by the past.

Reid took one last glance at the rearview mirror. _Good-bye Tobias, hopefully we'll meet again someday. But until then, take care my friend._

* * *

The next day, Tobias was sitting on his bed reading one of his books. He had woken up to find his breakfast on his desk so he figured that meant he was going to be kept in solitary confinement for a while.

Not that he really minded, he just wished he could see Spencer and Benjamin for one moment to apologize about yesterday's incident. Though he knew it wasn't his fault, he still felt that he owed them that much.

He particularly wanted to see Spencer once more before he left. He figured that the guards would most likely not let Spencer near him due to the earlier event. And of course the young man probably had to leave soon due to his flight schedule or his job.

That interrupted Uno card game/epiphany was perhaps the last time Tobias might see Spencer again for a long time. Sure, they still had their letters but it was nicer to see the young man for himself and talk to him face-to-face.

The door to his cell suddenly opened, revealing a guard and startling Tobias from his book as well as his thoughts.

The officer glanced warily at him and said, "Um…hi Tobias. How are you doing?"

Tobias gave him a small smile, "Very well thank you. How are you?"

At his friendly reply, the guard seemed to relax, "I'm doing alright—just doing the usual. I, uh, came to tell you that lunch is on its way. Sorry but you're going to have to stay in your room for a while…in case you haven't figured that out yet." He smiled sheepishly while Tobias shrugged.

_Not surprising._

The officer cleared his throat and continued, "Yeah, sorry about that. But if you want though I can grab you some cards or some books so you're not bored."

Tobias gave him a brighter smile, "Why that's nice of you, thanks."

The guard nodded, "Just let me know and I'll see what I can do. Maybe once you're done with lunch I can find something for you."

"That would be fine. Thank you."

Smiling softly, the officer turned as if to leave but then suddenly stopped, "Oh wait, before I forget! I have something for you." He dug though his pockets and pulled out a small white envelope that had his name handwritten on it.

The other man handed it to him and continued, "Your doctor friend gave this to me yesterday and wanted me to give this you. He seemed really eager that you got it immediately. Sorry I couldn't give it to you sooner but everything was still hectic at the time."

At first Tobias was puzzled but then he gradually grinned as he recognized Spencer's writing.

He thanked the guard and waited until he left before he carefully opened the envelope and began to read.

_Dear Tobias,_

_What you said today was amazing._

_I told you that you had strength. I knew it was there and I've known since we've first met. Unlike your father and Raphael, you have a conscious and humanity and _that's_ what makes you stronger than them. They've been suppressing your true potential for years by showing you nothing but evil and shutting you out whenever you reveal the goodness inside of you but you managed to rise against that._

_You truly are strong individual, Tobias, and you proved it today. I'm so proud that you stood up against your father and Raphael and I'm positive Benjamin is as well. I will never stop emphasizing that you are a good person, Tobias. You always will be. Your compassion for others gives you strength and I hope it will continue to motivate you as time goes on. I knew that one day will come when your strength officially makes an appearance and has you shining like your pure soul. And I'm honored to say that I was able to witness that day and I'm proud to be known as your friend._

_I wish I could stay longer but I need to head back to Quantico. I'm sorry. I'm also sorry that I hit your father; I didn't really mean to, my actions were merely reflexive. Hopefully we can still keep in touch through our usual letters. _

_Have a nice day Tobias and if you can, please write back!_

_Sincerely, your friend as always,_

_Spencer_

Upon reading the first sentence, Tobias was smiling; at the second sentence, he was beaming. Even after re-reading the note several times, that bright grin never left him.

It was nice enough that Spencer left him a note to say good-bye but the other things he wrote, those were just the most considerate comments he's ever been told.

Of course he always expects kind words from Spencer -the young man has never shown him anything less- but this was sensationally marvelous. Tobias couldn't even begin to describe how wonderful this meant to him.

Spencer was proud of him.

Tobias's smile grew impossibly wider as the thought sunk in. Though he wished Spencer were there to tell him that in person, this note was still just as incredibly extraordinary.

After reading it a final time, Tobias folded it up, placed it back in its envelope, and put it with the other numerous letters Spencer has sent him throughout the year. Then he sat down on his bed and gently rested his eyes.

It still astounded him what had occurred yesterday. So much had happened and so much came out of it. Tobias had found the strength to oppose his father and the archangel. He couldn't even believe that he had the capability to do so.

And to think that he was invigorated by Spencer—if the young man hadn't have first went against Raphael and his father, then Tobias probably wouldn't have defied them. Seeing Spencer stand up to the two men that caused him so much suffering and incited so much fear was awe-inspiring.

It had driven him to counter Raphael, the ruthless archangel whose apathy had killed many, and Charles, the man who claimed to be his father yet abused him like if he were the enemy.

And he's never felt more amazing in his life—he had basically fought the Devil and his spawn and won.

Of course he had both Spencer and Ben to thank for that—without them the courage he never knew he had wouldn't have ignited within him. They were the sources of his strength. They were his blessings of confidence. They were his best friends.

Tobias smiled and released a content sigh. For many long years he had been subjected to lifelong torture as he lived in an unforgiving Hell. Who would've known that all of that changed from the moment his father kidnapped an FBI agent? Who would've known that that one act would set off a chain reaction that led to ending father and Raphael's murderous spree? Who would've known that Tobias would gradually find peace in the institution, the one place he was sure was another hellish nightmare? Who would've known that he would become friends with the FBI agent he kidnapped? Who would've known that Tobias would find a friend within the institution?

Who would've known that he could be happy once again?

And who would've known that Tobias had the will to defy the two people he was afraid of most?

Tobias had no idea, but one thing was for sure: his future was bright and his past will never again restrain him from obtaining it.

Never again will he ever take part in murder and never again will he be subservient to Charles and Raphael; Tobias was free to live again since he now had the means to be genuinely content.

Because starting with yesterday, his life truly began when his soul finally awakened.

The End

* * *

**Yup, it's over.**

**...Hope you liked the note/letter though! Thanks for reading! :)**


	21. Epilogue

**Surprise! Did you really think that I would just end the story like that?! Yeah right! I've got one more trick up my sleeve ;)**

**Okay so ****_this_**** is the official last chapter of the story. I swear I'm not lying this time!**

**Disclaimer: Do I even need to say it? Nothing recognizable belongs to me**

**Warnings: language, mentions of drugs and violence, ****_brief_**** mentioning of alcohol, spoilers to season 2 "The Big Game" and "Revelations"**

* * *

Three weeks later and the BAU team was found lounging about on their floor. As JJ was telling Morgan and Prentiss about how Henry walked for the first time, Hotchner came out of his office with Rossi trailing behind him.

"So Will and I were caught completely off guard when Henry somehow stood up and sort of toddled over to us!" JJ's blue eyes sparkled as she reminisced about her son.

Prentiss lightly chuckled, "Aw how cute! Soon he'll be old enough to drive too!"

"Oh don't tell me that! One thing at a time!" The girls and Morgan shared a laugh as Hotch and Rossi approached them.

"Hey, have any of you seen Reid?" Hotchner inquired, "Dave and I were going over some case files and we could use his opinion."

"Reid's gonna be late." Morgan spoke up with a hint of amusement, "He called a while ago and said that his train was delayed or something. Man he sounded irritated. It'll be fun to mention it once he gets here."

"Reid's tardy?" Prentiss remarked with a sarcastic smile, "Wow that's a first. Should we let him off easy or give him detention for it?" Morgan and JJ chuckled as Hotch and Rossi cracked a smile.

"Well, let us know when he gets here—we could use his input."

Then suddenly Garcia came rushing into the room carrying some envelopes; she appeared frantic and even worried as she reached her colleagues.

"Whoa Baby Girl, where's the fire?" Morgan grinned playfully at her, "What's with-"

"G-guys I just found something that I'm sure I wasn't supposed to find. You see, I was looking through my mail because Kevin hinted that he might've left something there for me so of course I was excited about what it could be so I went to go check and I swear I didn't mean to look but I did and I'm now I'm regretting that I did but-"

"Garcia, slow down." Rossi said in a soothing tone, cutting off her feverish speech, "Just relax and tell us what you found. And get to the point."

"R-right, sorry. So anyways I was looking through my mail and I happened to notice that Reid had gotten some letters so I thought it'd be nice I grabbed them for him and left them on his desk. I-I didn't mean to but as I was grabbing it, I sort of observed the n-names on the envelopes and-and-and," She couldn't seem to continue as she began to shake.

After a brief pause, she softly said, "I found this." She held out one of the envelopes to the general group, silently asking for one of them to take it. Puzzled, Morgan took it and looked at it—soon his eyes widened with shock as he held it out for the others. Their expressions -save for Rossi's- soon matched his once they read the envelope.

The return address was from Atlanta, Georgia and it was specifically from Tobias Hankel.

_Tobias Hankel._

For a moment, no one said a word as they processed this new piece of information.

"Sp-Spence got a letter from…Tobias?" JJ's eyes were shadowed with shock, appall, and dread as she covered her mouth, "But…but why?"

"I don't know but I don't like it." Prentiss moderately declared as she bit her lower lip.

"Okay am I, uh, missing something?" Rossi furrowed his brow in confusion, "Who's Tobias Hankel?"

Hotch looked at him seriously, "There was an incident nearly three years ago where Reid had been kidnapped by an Unsub. He was tortured and drugged for two days before we found him. Tobias Hankel is that Unsub."

A look of understanding crossed Rossi's face before it switched to alarm. The rest of team briefly lapsed into a moment of remembrance where they saw Reid broken and terrified, sickened by the horrible memories. Scarring feelings of guilt drowned JJ as she firmly believed that his abduction was her fault. Garcia couldn't help the tears that misted behind her glasses as she remembered witnessing Hankel beat Reid until he…died.

"That bastard had nearly killed him." Morgan growled in anger, clutching the envelope tightly, "He was so damn lucky that I didn't get to him or else I would've hit him over the head with that fucking shovel he had."

"We all would've," Prentiss put in as her eyes glinted dangerously.

"What…what do you think he wants with Reid?" Garcia began to tremble slightly, "Do you suppose he's sending him threats or something?"

"We won't know for certain unless we read it." Hotch indicated to the envelope, "But I suggest we wait until Reid shows up so we can ask him if he knows about this. For all we know Hankel could've been sending letters to him for a while yet Reid wouldn't tell us."

"Wait a minute, how would Hankel be able to send this?" JJ's eyes widened as a thought occurred to her, "Wouldn't…wouldn't he need to know the address of the FBI?"

Everyone instantly grew alarmed of that revelation. "Okay that does not sit well with me! How does he know where Reid works? He can't possibly know that, right? But wait, he's a professional hacker so he could've gotten the information online! Oh my gosh, he hacked the Internet from prison!" Garcia grew increasingly worked up at the possibility.

However, Hotch spoke up, "Actually I have a better theory—over a year ago Morgan, Reid, and I went to Atlanta to interview a delusional serial killer. While we were there, Reid somehow got wind that Hankel happened to be at that institution and went to go talk with him. Maybe Hankel must've asked the guards for his work address and they consented."

Almost immediately the group exploded with anxiety.

"Wait, Reid visited Tobias? Why didn't you tell us?!" JJ pleadingly looked to both Hotchner and Morgan, her eyes expressing shock and betrayal.

"Yeah, I remember that! Why the hell would those guards agree with that?! I mean, Hankel attacked Reid, for the love of God!" Morgan grew more and more furious with the situation.

"He attacked Reid?! Again?!" Garcia looked to Morgan, turning pale, "Oh dear God!"

"Alright, alright—everyone needs to calm down." Rossi raised a strong, commanding tone, "Now I may not know too much about this but I do know that we need to put aside our personal feelings and think rationally about this."

Once everyone reluctantly consented, Rossi continued, "Okay so somehow Hankel knows where Reid works. Now Hotch, though you say that you, him, and Morgan went to Atlanta, it still doesn't explain how he could've gotten the address; even if he would've asked the guards, they couldn't have given it to him since they're unauthorized to do so."

The entire group was shocked by this fact. "But wait, if Hankel didn't get it from the guards, then he must've-"

"Gotten it from Reid," Morgan finished for Prentiss as the horrifying thought dawned on him. There was a moment of silence as his words sunk in.

No…it wasn't possible. He wouldn't…

But it was the only explanation they had.

But he wouldn't…not after everything.

"No," JJ said softly, "he…he couldn't have. Hankel…he…no…" Proper words failed her as she shook her head in denial.

"Hey everyone, sorry I'm late!" Everyone's heads whipped to the sound of a familiar voice.

Reid.

He walked into the area carrying his usual messenger bag and smiling at his team as he approached. "I have no idea what went wrong but apparently there were some delays with the trains today. They were fifteen minutes behind schedule but they didn't even acknowledge the situation and…" His slightly excited tone ceased as he took in the appalled expressions on his friends' faces. JJ and Garcia looked ready to cry while Morgan appeared both furious and shocked. "What's going on?"

The team exchanged glances before Morgan spoke, "Reid…do you have any idea what this is?" He held up the envelope as an indication, holding it out of reach yet close enough so that Reid could see it. Puzzled, Reid glimpsed at the object, squinting at its words. Then almost instantly his eyes widened with alarm and he tried to snatch it from Morgan, who pulled it away from him, tightening his grip on it.

"Where…where did you get that from?" The young profiler's hazel eyes widened with desperation and fear and…_guilt?_

"From your mailbox," Morgan answered smoothly yet with an edge, "Now would you mind telling us why the hell it's there?"

"I…I…" Reid fumbled for a moment, trying to think of an explanation. The others didn't need their profiling techniques to plainly see the struggle in his expression, the distress and the shame in his eyes. He hadn't wanted them to find this letter and was ashamed that he had been caught red-handed.

It _had_ been him.

Seeing that he was trapped, Reid's gaze flitted from each of his friends' faces as they silently appraised him, "I…I can explain."

* * *

Coincidentally on that same day, Tobias was sitting in his cell reading. It a new book called To Kill a Mockingbird and it was recommended to him by Spencer. It was really good so far and he found himself thoroughly enjoying it. He mentioned that in his recent letter to the young man and he thanked him for the selection.

Tobias smiled to himself as he read about Scout and Jem. Today had been good so far. Though it was raining and everyone was kept inside, Tobias and Ben managed to entertain themselves indoors—they were even allowed to use the tennis table in their free time to play some ping pong. The day was full of smiles and laughter and not once were they bothered by anyone, including Charles or Raphael. Not that Tobias was really worried about them anyways; ever since he stood up to them, ignoring them was easy.

He was suddenly pulled out of his musings when a guard walked into the room, carrying an envelope in his hand. "Mail for you, Tobias."

_I didn't expect a letter from Spencer so soon. What a surprise!_

Grinning with excitement, Tobias set down his book and thanked the officer. Once he was left alone, Tobias glanced at the envelope, furrowed his brow in confusion, pulled out the letter, and began to read.

_Tobias Hankel,_

_You may not know me, but I know a lot about you. I've seen the videos you posted on the Internet and I took the liberty of reading your case afterwards. Though it's been years since you've committed those murders, I must say that I'm impressed. Your posts were very entertaining and I found myself mesmerized with each new victim. _

_I listened to your readings from the Bible and was instantly inspired. Although I'll admit that I'm not very religious, _your_ interpretation really spoke to me. You're right; all the sinners in the world should pay retribution for their acts in the most heinous way possible. That wealthy couple got what they deserved when you killed them. That whore had it coming to her when you set your dogs on her. And I applauded you when you murdered that lawyer for defending criminals._

_Everything you did was rightly justified. Those sinners deserved to die and I'm pleased to know that you ended their meaningless, unholy lives. Mr. Hankel, you've inspired me. I just wish that I was as pure as you or else I too would rid the world of the corrupted bastards that taint it._

_As you can tell, I'm a fan of yours. If you weren't trapped in that institution, then I would follow in your wake, seeing that you're serving under God. I truly admire your work and I believe that your message to the world is brilliant. Your way of handling sinners is remarkably profound and it's my dream to cleanse them by eradicating them like how you have. _

_It would mean the world to me if you wrote back. I'm honored as it writing to you and knowing that you're reading my letter. Please write back and tell me more about your ideals. I'd love to hear all about them. Also, tell your father and Raphael that I'm impressed by their part in the murders as well. Don't get me wrong though—the genius of it all comes down to you._

_Godspeed and I really hope to hear from you soon._

_From,_

_Your humbled follower_

This letter wasn't from Spencer—that much was clear.

His first indication was that the return address on the envelope was from Atlanta, Georgia rather than from Quantico.

His second indication was the handwriting; Spencer's was nice and eloquent. This one was crude and sloppy, like if the person pressed hard down on the pencil while writing this.

His third indication was that he was addressed as 'Tobias Hankel'. Spencer referred to him by his first name only, never by last name.

His fourth indication was that right below '_your humbled follower_' was a picture of a triangle with an eye inside of it.

_How creepy…_

And the last most startling indication of all, the intent of the letter. Whenever Spencer wrote to him, he offered kindness and support—this person was eerie and full of dark malice.

Tobias shuddered as he reread the first sentence: _You may not know me, but I know a lot about you._

Tobias's hands shook as he dropped the letter and shakily stepped away from it. Who was this person and what did they want from him? How do they know about him?

They claimed that they were a fan but Tobias didn't want one—he didn't want a follower and he certainly didn't like that someone was still watching those god awful videos. What sort of human being takes pleasure from watching something like that?

Again, who _is_ this person?

Tobias looked at the envelope but the individual apparently didn't want to give out their name since there was only an address on the left-hand corner.

_Well that's reassuring…_

Tobias stiffened as he thought of their words. They liked the Internet posts, they approved of the murders, they admired the kills, and they seemed to have the bloodthirsty intent of his father and the archangel.

Being reminded of the two, his breathing became irregular and he felt that the walls were closing in on him, trapping him.

_Also, tell your father and Raphael that I'm impressed by their part in the murders as well. Don't get me wrong though—the genius of it all comes down to you._

_It all comes down to you._

Oh god…

Tobias's chest twisted in pain at the fact that someone thought of him as the mastermind of those murders and regarded Charles and Raphael as his accomplices.

No.

Feeling a sudden sense of alarm and disgust, Tobias instantly snatched up the letter and crumbled it into a ball then tossed it across the room.

Whoever this person was, Tobias wanted nothing to do with them. They…_researched_ him and were willing to follow in his path—a path that they believed was full of blood, suffering, and murder.

_That…that's not me. I wanted _nothing_ to do with any of that! I'm not like my father or Raphael! I don't believe in killing! I'm not like my father or Raphael! I'm not like them!_

Tobias mentally repeated that logic until he was calmer—not entirely relaxed but calmer.

Staring for a moment at that crumpled paper ball, Tobias wondered what to do. He was _obviously_ not going to write back but what should he do if that person writes again when he doesn't respond?

_Ignore it—I'll just have to ignore it._

Yes, yes that seemed reasonable. If that person realizes that Tobias isn't going to write back, then they'll leave him alone. Maybe they'll find someone else to idolize.

A shiver ghosted down his spine but he forced himself to remain collected. This individual clearly has some issues but Tobias was not going to encourage them. He'll just ignore the letter and hope that the writer will take the hint.

Satisfied, Tobias relaxed further and settled down on his bed. There's no need to get distressed over something that isn't worth the stress. It's just one letter and Tobias was sure that it'll only _be_ one letter.

Everything was going to be fine.

* * *

Unknown to Tobias or the guards, a dark sedan was parked a few feet away from the institution—far enough that it won't be seen yet close enough so that the driver could see the building. Sitting in the front seat was a male man in his early forties, wearing a dark cloak-like sweater and black pants. He had dull, lifeless brown eyes that stared past the feverish strikes of the rain and emotionless, thin dark-grey hair with pitch-black patches.

He held a bottle of whiskey to his lips as he stared at the institution through his shades. He had been sitting there for almost an hour yet he didn't notice nor care. After a couple swallows of the alcohol, the man set down the drink and looked over at the seat next to him. On it was a manila folder holding several pictures, documented papers, and newspaper clippings.

Smirking to himself, the man pulled out his favorite newspaper of the bunch and read it over. On the cover was a picture of Tobias Hankel being led out of a hospital by police officers, handcuffed and looking down on the floor, refusing to look at anyone. The article went on to detail how Hankel had murdered seven different people, supposedly including his own father, and had kidnapped a federal agent.

The man's sinister sneer widened as he flipped the next page, relishing in the picture of a fragile-looking young man being escorted to a van by two FBI agents. The kid's soft brown locks slightly covered his face but the man could see the smothered fear and exhaustion in his hazel eyes and how his posture held an aura of vulnerability.

The beautifully wonderful sight of a victim.

The man darkly chuckled as he read on about how the agent had been kidnapped and subjected to indescribable torture, found barely alive when he was rescued. Looking at the picture of that damaged form sent a pleasant jolt of satisfaction down his spine—oh how he'll never get tired of seeing someone so broken down, so close to shattering.

If only he knew what _exactly_ Hankel did to Spencer Reid. Sure he had an idea by watching those Internet videos but that's only the surface—he wanted to know details.

And he was going to make sure that he got them.

The man hoped that Hankel had gotten his letter and was planning on writing back. Because if he doesn't, then that'll just make things so much harder.

But the man knew that it was 50-50 chance that Hankel will respond. The other man has two other personalities and from what he has read, _they_ were the killers while Tobias just provided the body to contain them.

He was basically useless.

Yet the man knew that he had to approach Hankel as if it were him, his father, and some angel of death—three personalities, three different people.

But he can work with that.

The man smiled at the possibility of 'Charles Hankel' or 'Raphael' reading the letter before Tobias did. If that happened, then it'll be much easier to gain his trust. The man had a feeling that Tobias wouldn't take too well with him but his personalities just might.

And if they did, then he could put his plans in motion; after all, Hankel was his tool to get vengeance. If he played his cards right, then he can show Aaron Hotchner the consequences of defying the Boston Reaper.

George Foyet maliciously laughed at the idea of Aaron suffering at his hands, again. It had been fun stabbing him, taunting him but _this_, this'll be more fun. With what Foyet has planned, Hotchner would finally break and be at his mercy.

Foyet took another swing of the whiskey, the burning sensation of alcohol spiking up his desire for such a thrill.

It was only a matter of time before he had his revenge.

And he was going to make sure that Tobias Hankel was a player in his new game.

The End...?

* * *

**Bet none of you saw that coming.**

**There were some things in this story that I obviously didn't address (such as the team's reactions) but the sequel I have in mind should answer them. I plan to write a one-shot that'll lead into the full story. I'm not sure how long I'll take but be prepared to wait a bit; I'm a slow writer. Just check my profile or the 'Tobias' section within the Criminal Minds stories every now and then. FYI: the one-shot will be called "Call Me Lucifer".**

**So yeah, I got plans.**

**I'm sorry that I pulled your legs with that last chapter! I couldn't resist ;)**

**Thank you all so much for reading this story! I appreciate every single one of you!**

**Thanks to my reviewers: songwriterforlife99, LithiumFlower13, Hinata001, Darth Kieduss the Wise, People Person I'm Not, MCatry, dmfrancis7, oOCriminalMindsLoverOo, Ms. Reid, Goldenrod, and ebonypol! Your comments rocked! They made me smile and they really helped me out! Thanks!**

**Thanks to the followers: Cooperlouise, Evil E. Evil, Hinata001, Jae Ar, Laura Granger, LithiumFlower13, LoveReid, LyricReilly, MCatry, Ms. Reid, RU12, Shinnie, Slrmn82, SuperSaiyanAngel, dmfrancis7, ebonypol, giderasia1, bparker1, vickimaloof, and willowtree17! It means a lot to me that you guys kept track of this! Thank you, thank you!**

**Thanks to those who favorited: Cooperlouise, Evil E. Evil, HOC97, Hinata001, LithiumFlower13, Liveanddreams, LyricReilly, MCatry, People Person I'm Not, Shinnie, Slrmn82, dmfrancis7, ebonypol, oOCriminalMindsLoverOo, samanddeanaholic, shirayuki016, sujubtobttfxgg, tsukinotora, and willowtree17! I can't believe you guys liked this! Many thanks!**

**And a huge thanks to those who've read this! Even if you skimmed it, I'm flattered!**

**Special thanks to LithiumFlower13 for inspiring me to write this! You're totally awesome! :)**

**Thanks for reading and be on the lookout for the sequel (if you're interested)! Thank you all so much for support! Bye! :D**


	22. Author's Note

**Hey there Fanfic people!**

**So it's finally here! The sequel to "To Live and Let Go"! Sorry it took a while, life gets crazy at times :P**

**But finally I posted up the story! You can find it on my account and it's called "Lay Our Souls to Waste". I'm posting it right after this! Check it out if you're still interested! Again, sorry about the wait!**

**Thanks for reading! :D**


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